Metanoia

“Ro, where you at?” I called. The apartment was silent. Maybe he’d fallen asleep.

I went to my bedroom, turning off all the lights on the way there.

And there he was, asleep in my bedroom.

The sight of him irked me, and not because he was in my bedroom without my permission. He looked like he’d just finished wanking himself silly. My laptop sat a few inches from his face, black-screened but not on standby quite yet.

I groaned and walked over to the bed. I wanted to wake him up and immediately demand what he’d been doing, but I decided not to.

Instead, I reached over him and picked up my laptop. The screen came alive almost immediately, showing porn of the highest caliber.

I couldn’t help but laugh and startled him awake.

He didn’t even move. He just stared at me, red faced while I laughed at his pornographic choices.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Only for leaving all the lights on for God knows how long.” I sat on the bed next to him and set my laptop down on the floor. “And for using my laptop without permission and wanking in my bed. But that’s about it. You’re not really even in trouble for those.”

He let out a breath of relief and started to say something, but I held a finger to his lips to stop him.

“I’m in a good mood, man. Don’t mess it up.” Rory smiled and it made my heartbeat feel like it was in places it didn’t belong.

He sat up and peeled his shirt off of his stomach. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have even worn a shirt. I’m all sticky and my shirt is getting gross, too.”

I shrugged. “Well then just take it off. We’re both guys here. I don’t mind.”

Rory didn’t even hesitate. He just pulled the shirt over his head and threw it someplace on the floor.

I could only stare at his chest and stomach. It was like I didn’t even have a choice, really.

Rory leaned and kissed me suddenly. I kissed him back, out of lust, out of politeness.

When he pulled away, he stared at me from behind his glasses like he really was behind the glass of a window or something poetic like that.

“You okay, Jace? You look really freaked out.”

I shook my head and pulled him back to me, smashing my lips against his. His hands found their way to my hair, grasping and pulling in a way that should have hurt, at least a little.

I got onto the bed and laid him down on his back, and soon enough we were both stripped completely.

I lubed him inside and out and then my fingers. Rory’s hips rolled with my hand while I stretched him out.

He moved a lot. Wasn’t very vocal, but he did squirm around when things gave him pleasure.

A few more moments and I was in him. He let out one long groan of pleasure, and from there he was all sighs and a few odd squeaks.

He came before I did, but only seconds before.

And then I felt like I’d damaged him beyond fixing. I felt like I’d made the both of us dirty beyond anything that the good Lord was willing to look at.

But I honestly gave no fucks.