Perfect Symmetry

I woke up surprisingly early and had some bacon for breakfast and then actually answered the phone instead of just letting the voicemail get it. There was still no sign of Hailey at the apartment, so I suspected she was angry with me. This made me even sadder, since I knew we wouldn’t be living together for much longer.

“Hello?” I spoke quietly into the receiver.

“Jazz? It’s Jonathan,” he sounded rather ill.

“How’s that hangover? I’m surprised you’re even up yet,” I said conversationally.

He sighed. “Yeah it sucks. But I remember having a great time so I called Kaner and thanked him for organizing it. He sounded chipper. It was irritating.”

I laughed. “Yes, he was quite the responsible one last night. No more than one or two beers.”

“I know, it was weird...but I hope you had a good time. And thanks for getting me home last night...it was kind of a blur after we got out of the car, but I definitely remember you driving me home,” he sounded grateful.

“So...you don’t remember anything after we got there?” I asked carefully.

“Not really,” Jon admitted. “I was pretty out of it. Why, did I do something stupid?”

I bit my lip. “You were just a little...outspoken.”

He groaned. “Well I apologize if I insulted you in any way.”

I chuckled. “No insults, don’t worry. Feel better okay?”

Jon paused. “Are you okay, Jazz? You sound funny.”

I froze, but tried to recover quickly. “Maybe that hangover is affecting your hearing, Jon. I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later?”

He agreed without an argument, and hung up. I groaned, rubbed my eyes, and I glanced at my clock and got ready to go for a walk. I hated being inside; the walls were constrictive, and everything reminded me of Viktor. I walked out into the living room and found Hailey sitting on the couch, watching TV.

“Hey stranger,” she greeted softly, turning to say hello.

I gave her a weak smile. “Wasn’t sure you were still living here.”

She gave me a knowing look. “I wouldn’t just walk out on you like that, Jazz.”

I nodded. “I know. I just have a lot of stuff going on right now. Can we talk later?”

Hailey looked concerned. “Okay. But I’m here, and I’m not going to judge you.”

I smiled thankfully. “I appreciate that. Really I do. I’m just still processing everything.”

She let it rest, and I went on my walk and cleared my head.
~

Work was actually an escape for me now. I went in, buried myself in my new campaign, and met with new executives, including some coaches from the NFL, who were interested in brightening their image just like the NHL did. It was good to be busy, and it was nice not being peppered about my personal life, although Liza did ask about Jonathan a few times.

“So how is Captain Sexy these days?” she asked me casually on Friday.

I chuckled. “Fine. He celebrated his birthday last week. Pretty crazy party.”

Liza’s head shot up. “You went?”

I shrugged. “I was sort of guilt-tripped into it.

“And you didn’t invite me?” she asked half-teasingly.

My smile was false and I replied, “Well I thought you were too mature for silly, drunk parties.”

Liza laughed. “I definitely am. But did anything else happen in the last couple weeks Jazz? You seem a little blue.”

I tried to put on a puzzled face. “I’m just a little tired, Liza. I feel like I’ve been working non-stop.”

She nodded understandingly. “Well things will be slowing down soon, so if you want to take a week or so off for personal reasons, we could work something out.”

I gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Liza, but that won’t--” my cell phone ringing cut me off and I shot Liza an apologetic look and answered it.

“Jazz, it’s me,” Jonathan’s frantic voice came on the line.

I wrinkled my brow. “Hey, what’s up?”

He sounded panicked as he replied. “I need some help.”

I started packing my things up immediately and I gave Liza a quick wave and left the office, my phone still pressed to my ear.

“What’s the matter? I hissed into the phone.

There was some clattering, and the sound of a child crying in the background and I gasped.

“Have you kidnapped a child? Because I am so not helping you with that,” I whisper-yelled.

Jonathan sounded exasperated. “This is not the time for your strange humor, Jazz. I’m at Sharpie’s house and I need help.”

“Well where’s Abby?” I asked tiredly.

“She’s out with Sharpie. I’m babysitting Maddy,” Jonathan snapped.

I winced. “Really?”

“Well don’t sound so horrified,” he whined like a child.

I narrowed my eyes. “Well you’re calling me for help so I think I have the right to be a little horrified.”

Jon sighed. “Can you get here please? I can’t get Abby to stop crying.”

I snapped the phone shut and got in my car immediately.

I swear, the things I do for children...and for Jonathan.
~

When I arrived at Sharpie’s apartment door, I could hear the sounds of a baby wailing, which really wasn’t very promising. I knocked on the door firmly, and I heard thumping steps and Jon threw open the door frantically.

“God it took you long enough,” he whined, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside.

I frowned. “Well that’s one way to show your gratitude,” I mumbled.

Maddy was in her crib, crying persistently, her little fists waving around. I put my bag down in the kitchen and hurried over to her room.

“Hey there, big girl,” I cooed as I picked her up gently.

Her cries just grew louder, her feet kicking me impatiently. At only ten or so months old, she couldn’t quite articulate what was wrong.

“Has she eaten?” I asked Jon as her face screwed up into a new wave of screams.

“I fed her half an hour ago,” he fretted, rubbing his neck. “She can’t be hungry again.”

I furrowed my brow and touched her forehead gently. She shook me off and cried harder. She wasn’t warm, so it wasn’t a fever.

“She has to be tired; it’s almost her bedtime,” I thought out loud.

I felt the bottom of her diaper and then smiled. She needed a change all right. I laid her down on the changing table and looked at Jonathan, who still looked petrified.

“Go find some nappies,” I instructed as I took off her sopping wet diaper.

Her cries quietened and Jon looked amazed as she wandered off to find some. I threw away the old nappy and grabbed some wipes to clean Maddy’s bottom a bit.

She wrigged happily and looked at me with those blue eyes, still watery from her crying.

“How did you know to do that?” Jonathan asked me as he tossed me a dry diaper.

I slipped it on Maddy and tightened the sticky straps and gave him a look.

“Babies need to have their nappies changed,” I explained with a laugh.

“Yeah, but it didn’t smell or anything,” Jon replied in confusion.

I smiled. “Babies don’t just poop, they pee as well. Maddy was sitting in her own pee for several hours. I’d be pretty upset too.”

Jonathan let out a sigh of relief as I picked a now quiet Maddy up and took her out to the kitchen. I had Jon warm some milk in a bottle and I tried to get Maddy to fall asleep.

She was wide-awake now, looking at everything curiously and giggling when I tried to pat her to sleep.

Finally, after half a bottle of warm milk, she dozed off and I put her back into her crib and closed the door.

I sank onto the couch, where Jonathan had been sitting ever since I started feeding her. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes briefly. When I opened them, I saw Jon gazing at me in awe.

“I didn’t believe in woman’s instinct until now,” he laughed quietly.

I chuckled. “I would take credit for it, but I’d be lying. I took care of a lot of cousins and neighbors as a teenager.”

“Well you were a star. I’ll have to tell Abby to get you to babysit from now on,” Jon yawned.

“Don’t yawn, I’m going to fall asleep on you,” I warned, my head drooping.

Jon took a deep breath and scooted closer to me, wrapping his large, muscular arm around my shoulders.

“I think you work too hard,” he remarked.

My eyes stayed closed for longer periods of time and I let my head fall onto his chest. I felt his hand brush hair out of my face and my cheeks heated up.

“It’s been busy lately,” I murmured, opening my eyes to see him properly.

His eyes were dark and I gulped slowly. God why was he so gorgeous?

“I know the feeling,” Jonathan replied. “Playoffs start soon.”

I grinned at him. “I’ve got a good feeling about this year.”

“You and me both, Jazz,” he agreed.

There was a moment where both of our eyes met and my heart stopped. I sat up slowly but he moved closer to me and I started breathing heavier. His hand reached out to play with one of my curls but then cupped my cheek. All I could do was stare doe-eyed at him, unsure of what to do.

His eyes looked just as unsure as he took his other hand and placed it on my knee and closed the gap between us.

I had been imagining what a kiss with Jonathan Toews would be like for quite some time, and with that kiss, every one of my expectations was met a thousand times over. He was soft but firm at the same time, and I practically melted into a pool of goop.

It felt good to be kissed again, by anybody. I let Jon pull me even closer, my hands in his hair, his hands on my waist. It was after a few seconds that Viktor even entered my head. What was I doing? I was recently single!

From that moment, I suddenly became very confused. I pulled away abruptly from Jon’s embrace and clambered off of him, tears in my eyes for some reason.

He looked confounded but sorry at the same time.

“Jazz, I...” he started to say quickly.

I didn’t hear the rest of it. By that time I was out of the apartment, jogging toward the elevator with tears. I didn’t stop until I was in my car, where I caught my breath and reached for my cell phone. It was only eight; I knew she would still be around.

“Hello? Liza?” I steadied my voice carefully. “I’m going to take a couple of weeks off, maybe head back home for a while. I’m sorry for the short notice.”

Liza sounded relieved. “I’m glad, Jazz. You’ve been wearing yourself out thin. Enjoy yourself. You’ve done some awesome work the past few months.”

I thanked her profusely and then hung up the phone and drove home shakily. As soon as I got home, I walked into my apartment and tried to compose myself.

I approached Hailey’s room cautiously and knocked briskly before opening the door slightly. To my delight, there she sat on her laptop, her face illuminated by the glare of her screen. She looked up and gave me a small smile, which faded as she saw the troubled look on my face.

“Jazz, honey, what’s the matter?” She closed her laptop and motioned for me to come over.

Tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes and I brushed them away impatiently.

“Hailey,” I whispered, “I’m so sorry I didn’t do this earlier...we have to talk.”

She looked very worried, and she patted my back and made sympathetic noises as I told her everything. I told her that Viktor had broken up with me, and that’s why I overreacted when she said she was moving out. I told her about what Viktor had said about Jonathan and me and how I had sort of had a silly crush on him. And then I told her that Jon had kissed me just a short while ago.

Hailey looked overwhelmed. “Oh my god, Jazz. If you had told me Viktor had broken up with you, I wouldn’t have wanted to move out this fast.”

I shrugged. “I’m a big girl, Hailey. You shouldn’t stay here just because I’m holding you back.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re my best friend. I want to take care of you. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

I winced. “I don’t know...I guess I didn’t really want to face telling everyone that the most amazing guy in the world dumped me because he didn’t think I even liked him.”

“But you did,” Hailey corrected gently.

I sniffed. “I should have been more attentive. Oh, I can’t think about it. I’m going to head back to San Jose for a week or so.”

Hailey raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Can you swing it at work?”

I batted my hand at her. “I already cleared it with Liza. I need to get out of Chicago for a while.”

“Will you be back for game one of the playoffs?” Hailey bit her lip.”

I frowned. “When do they start?”

“A week from tomorrow,” she answered. “Jonathan will kill you if you’re not. And I expect Kaner will help.”

I sighed. “I don’t want to think about Jonathan. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I need to leave.”

Hailey was very helpful and understanding, and she and I both went onto Southwest Airlines’ website and booked a ticked to San Jose for the next morning. I packed a carry-on that night and the two of us stayed up talking about her relationship with Seabrook and her new apartment. I realized that my best friend wasn’t abandoning me; she was just growing up and entering a new stage in her life. And I should be supportive of her.