But Loving Him Was Red...

Not a word was said about Carly or what happened the previous night, so the brunch table was extra quiet this morning.

Troy and Trina were blabbing to each other about the weather and the game he was watching last night, but Sidney was very quiet.

Lucia was in a high chair wedged between Troy and Sidney who were taking turns feeding her.

Even though Sidney was sad, I couldn’t help this overwhelming feeling of happiness. Why was I happy about this? Why was I happy that I watched a girl single handedly reach in and crush Sidney’s heart?

I didn’t know if he loved this girl, well he had to, to get engaged to her, but for some reason this break-up made me happy.

Taylor ended up a no-show, called Trina and told her that Landon come down with a cold and she’d rather not travel with a sick baby.

Most of the extended family was deciding to do supper instead, so we were just having cereal for breakfast.

Sidney and I packed our stuff last night and it was sitting by the door.

“Son, you are awfully quiet,” Troy spoke up; obviously the silence was getting to him. Trina and I connected glances and she gave me a look to tell me that I knew what was wrong with him.

He simply stirred the cereal around in his bowl, not bothering to answer his Dad. “Sidney,” Troy snapped his fingers in Sidney’s face. He sat up and looked at Troy. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah… I am… fine…” He sighed, pushing the bowl away from him. Sidney Crosby turning down food… I thought it’d be a cold day in hell before I were to ever see that happen. He stood up and carried the bowl to the sink. “Emily, you almost ready?” He rinsed his bowl and looked back at me.

I didn’t see heartbreak in his eyes, or any kind of sadness… he never hid his emotions well. His eyes showed every emotion, but right now, I couldn’t tell how he was feeling and it bothered me.

“What?” I snapped out of it and looked down at my bowl. I had finished a few minutes ago, but sat there awkwardly waiting for someone to either finish eating or say something. Everyone was now looking at me. “I mean yeah… I’m ready whenever you are,” He quickly scooted out of the kitchen and I heard his footsteps go up the stairs.

“Spill, you two, you’ve been sharing the same look all morning, what’s wrong with him? I’ve never seen him turn down food,” Trina was quick to get on our cases.

Troy and I looked at each other and Troy sighed, obviously going to be the one to break it to Trina. “Someone tell me, please…” She gathered up our bowls and walked to the sink.

“He and Carly broke up last night,” Troy sighed. “I knew it was volatile from day one, she’s obviously after him for who he is, and I tried to tell the boy, but no, he refused to listen, so the engagement is off,” Troy laced his fingers together and looked over at me. “Thank god, I couldn’t tolerate her,” Trina looked back at me and smiled, matching the one plastered on Troy’s face.

What the hell was this? Did Sidney know that his parents disliked his ‘fiance’? I got along really well with his parents, from day one, but I always wondered if they talked bad about me when my back was turned. I highly doubted it, but you never really knew.

We said our goodbyes and climbed into the Evoque, doing up our seatbelts. Lucia was holding tightly to the bear that Troy gave her over the weekend. Sidney started the engine and we were off.

Ten minutes of silence and I was dying. Sure we had the radio and Lucia blabbing to her bear, but I loved talking with people and the social interaction.

“Are you okay?” I blurted out when Sidney was stopped at a red light, we were just leaving Nova Scotia now. He looked over at me, and it was still that blankness in his eyes. “I mean… you turned down food, you’re not saying anything. Is everything okay?” He nibbled his bottom lip, but kept his focus on me. “Sidney, you can tell me… just because we are broken up, it doesn’t mean I don’t care,”

He sped up when the light turned green and sighed. “Carly got all pissed off at me last night,” He frowned. “She was uncomfortable because we were in the same room, and I told her it’s not a big deal; then she accused you of whoring around on me,”

“I would never,” I defended myself.

“I know and that’s what I told her, but she’s so adamant that Lucia isn’t mine and you’re pawning her off on me for the child support payments. You don’t like the support payments,” He was right, I didn’t.

I disliked the fact that he paid money to me every month for Lucia, when I kept her from him for two years.

“You don’t believe her, do you?” I had to ask. Sidney shot his head in my direction, and missed the red light he just drove through. “Uhm, Sidney that was just a red light,” Thank god there was no traffic, or we could’ve died. We left the house at 830 AM and Sidney said we were leaving early to beat rush hour traffic.

“Of course I don’t believe her, how could you ask me that kind of question?” Sidney shook his head. “Look, she wasn’t being fair to you and one thing lead to another and she dumped me….” He got on the freeway leading into New Brunswick.

We had to show passports when we crossed over into Maine, which would take us through New Hampshire, through Boston and Conneticut and then we’d be back in Pennsylvania.

We were stopping when we get to Maine, to grab food and drinks, and then again in New Hampshire. We were stretching our legs and sight seeing on top of it, even though Sidney didn’t seem in the mood to sight see.

Lucia loved walking around and seeing lots of strange people in a place she’s never been before. I’d love to move out of Pennsylvania one day and maybe go back to Buffalo or to Manhattan.

I thought it was sweet that he was defending me, but he didn’t really need to.

“At least she did it to your face,” I whispered, playing nervously with my fingers. “Look, I want to apologize for how things went down between us,”

“You don’t need to apologize Em, I was a jackass, I shouldn’t have flipped my shit in the bar,” He sighed. “Let’s just forget about it and talk about something else,”

= = =
Sidney dropped me and Lucia off at my house the next day, and sped off, claiming he needed to go home and sleep. That wasn’t such a bad idea, but I already made plans with Seth, so I had to shower and change and get Lucia ready, to meet Seth in the park with Cruz. We were doing a play date.

=

“Hey,” Seth greeted me, pulling me into a hug. Lucia ran off to the jungle gym with Cruz. We claimed seats on the bench and I relaxed; moving my bangs out of my face. “Here’s your coffee,” He handed me the to-go cup.”How was Cole Harbour,”

“Eventful,” I shared, crossing my legs under myself. “Sidney and I were reading a book to Lucia in his den, with his Dad and his girlfriend comes in flipping that we are together in the room alone. Does she not see Troy and Lucia?” I tried not to laugh. “SO, I found out they were engaged and now apparently they aren’t, but Sidney said he was going to talk to her,” He was hoping they weren’t broken up. It was weird, he didn’t seem upset at all…

“Do you want them broken up?” Seth asked, leaning down to connect with me. I moistened my bottom lip. I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. I partially thought I’d be better off giving him Lucia and curling up into a ball in my room and never coming out.

“Be careful!”I shouted to Lucia, when she was hanging from the bar connecting to the slide. She startled and looked at me. “Don’t hang off that, you’ll fall,” She sat down properly and slid down the slide. Damn kid. “Sorry,” I apologized, looking back at Seth. “I want Sidney to be happy and if Carly is what makes him happy; then there is nothing I can do,”

I smiled as Seth leaned in, connecting our lips together. I was taken back by his suddenness, but a little excited by it. His lips were warm and soft against mine, and I felt the scruff on his cheeks rubbing against mine.

He immediately pulled away from me and sighed. “Emily,” He put his hands out. “I am so sorry, I didn’t…” He was rambling. I leaned over, pushing our lips back together.

Why I was kissing Seth was new to me. I partially thought that I needed to move on because Sidney obviously is, and I didn’t want him to think I was hanging back because of him and myself hoping that we were going to get back together and have this amazing family that everyone envied. Nothing is ever that easy.

I couldn’t stop thinking about what Sidney said to me… he was a jackass, it was his fault. He still believes the reason I dumped him was because of the bar thing? It had nothing to do with that, it was more of a loop hole for me to leave. I may have used it as an excuse, but it was not the reason.

I pulled from him and smiled, running my bang behind my ear.
“Uhm…” I giggled, feeling my face heat up.

Seth’s cheeks were pink under his dark scruff and he sipped his coffee nonchalantly. Could I be a family with Seth? He was gorgeous, had a great sense of humor, our daughters are friends, he’s a good Dad.