But Loving Him Was Red...

Two Days Later
“There you are,” Taylor smiled, walking up to me and pulling out the chair. “What’s this big news?” I texted her this morning after I got up and told her to meet me at the coffeehouse after I got done at the gym.

I’ve been hiding from Sidney and not answering his calls. I couldn’t leave this time; I had to be a big girl. Plus, he had my daughter.

“I slept with your brother,” I frowned, laying my head on my hands. I’ve been so distraught these past few days and I just can’t shake it. Did he use me? Taylor let her jaw hang open. “It just happened, one second we were talking and then… it happened, at first I was happy because I wanted this, but then I realized he cheated on his fiancé and he’s all calm about it,” That was what I think hurt me the most, was that he wasn’t upset about cheating on his fiancé. If he didn’t want to be with her, why did he get back with her?

“Oh please Emily, Carly is a fucking toad,” Taylor slid her chair over and put her arms around me. I let the tears roll down my cheeks. She held my face in her hands and sighed. “Emily,” She wiped my tears with her thumbs. “I know how much you care about my brother and how much he cares about you,”

“Why did he do that to me?” I asked, letting more tears free fall down my face. “If he cares, he wouldn’t have done that,”

She sighed, shaking her head. “My brother is a different person, he expresses his feelings differently, you should know that by now. He probably was trying to tell you he wanted to be with you and not Carly,” She released my face and put her hands on the table. “I don’t know why he got back with her; it makes no fucking sense,”

“He obviously doesn’t care,” I grumbled. “Taylor, I really thought I was falling for him until now… right now, I am so unsure how I really feel,” As I laid my head back down on the table, I couldn’t help but to picture his face that morning. He looked so peaceful and serene.

“Want to hear my good news?” Taylor was bouncing up and down in the chair. “No I am not ignoring you, I just can’t hold it in anymore,” I arched an eyebrow. “So, Tyler and I have been seeing each other for a few months now, ever since the coffeehouse and I think I am falling for him, he’s so sweet,”

“That’s so awesome Taylor,” I gave her a quick hug. “Finally, some good news. Whens the wedding?”

“Calm down, we aren’t that far,” She laughed, checking her phone. “I think he wants us to move in together and I don’t know if I’m ready, or if you’d be okay with it,”

“Of course I’d be okay with it,” I laughed. “Don’t hold back because of me, I can always get an apartment in Pittsburgh, you do what you got to do, this is so amazing,”

“So, if I do, you’ d be okay?” She asked. I narrowed my eyes. “I am just asking,” She smiled, looking at me. “Do you like my brother? I mean, anymore?”

Of course she’d crush my spirits. “Taylor, look, we have a daughter together, there is always going to be feelings between us, but I need to decide if it’s love for him or love because he fathered my baby,” I sighed. “I just need to think this over,”

“He told me he invited you to the Classic, you better be fucking going to it, no ducking and running this time,” She pointed her finger at me. I stared up at her. “Oh you’ll be going, if I have to drag you there myself,” She stood up, pushing her chair in. “Tyler is picking me up, we are doing lunch at the Ivy, are you going to be okay?”

“I am going to be fine, I’ll probably head home and study for exams,” I stood up and followed her outside. I didn’t get any coffee and neither did Taylor. When we got outside, Tyler pulled up out front with Landon in the back. They offered me a ride, but I declined saying I needed the walk to clear my head. Tyler said we’d do coffee on Thursday, he’d meet me here at 10AM.
= = = =

“I am going to ask Taylor to move in with me,” Tyler beamed, sipping his coffee. I was floored. Did he just? AM I hearing that right? “Oh no, you think it’s too soon?”

“No.” I put my hand over his and smiled. “Of course not, you and Taylor are so good. You both grounded each other and you’ve definitely tamed the wild stallion within her,”

It was Thursday. I got up, went for a jog, which was something I hadn’t done since Sidney and I were together, came home, showered and went over to meet Tyler. I was feeling happier about myself and less angry about what happened. We weren’t drunk, so it was consensual meaning both parties were in agreement as to what was going to happen.

I still didn’t know if Sidney wanted us back, but I was more reasonable and less distraught now. I was hoping to call Sidney later on tonight and check on Lucia and see how things are going.

“I think I really love this girl,” He smiled. “It feels weird, but I am constantly thinking about her and wanting to be with her all the time, and god, I just want to be there for her and Landon, especially if that jerk Claude isn’t going to be around,” He clenched his hands into fists. “I don’t get how someone can be such a fucking jerk,”

“I asked myself the same thing when I was with him,”I rolled my eyes. “He’s a fucking player and I can’t even begin to fathom that I was once with him,” I actually was so shocked to remember the times with him. It seemed like I was in a phase.

“Neither can I,” Tyler smirked, taking my hand in his. “Soooo…. Taylor told me what happened between you and Sidney,”

“Oh god Tyler, can we please not? You are really harshing my mellow,” I frowned, taking my hand from his. “Look, we slept together and he didn’t care that he cheated on his fiancé,”

“She cheats on him all the time, I wouldn’t doubt she has a fucking guy in DC,” Tyler glared. “I mean, yes, that is no reason for him to cheat on her, I get it, but he doesn’t love her… at least not like he loved you,”

“Tyler,” I warned him. Why was he doing this? I am so going to punch Taylor. I was planning on not saying shit about what happened. The last thing I wanted was for it to go around and find its’ way back to Sidney, because I knew he’d be so pissed that I’ve been telling people. I guess Taylor, one person, doesn’t exactly count as ‘people’ but still. “I am handling this,”

“You are handling this? Sidney told me this morning, he hasn’t heard from you since boxing day, he said he’s been calling and calling. I swear, you fucking leave him this time and I am like so done with you. You break his heart again, I will never, ever, ever forgive you,” He pointed his finger harshly in my face and I haven’t in the years I’ve known him, have I ever seen his eyes look like that. “Especially if you take that little girl away from him,”

“I am not going to leave him, Tyler,” I glared back. “I just need to think how to approach this. We didn’t leave on the best of terms,”

“Just tell him the fucking truth, Emily, I know it’s not your best trait, but try the truth,” He frowned. “Just tell him exactly how you feel and that you want to know how he is approaching this, make your feelings known,”

I sighed, holding my mug of hot chocolate. “Tyler, I am not sure how I feel,” I spoke back to him. “How the fuck do you expect me to tell him when I don’t know myself how I feel?”

“You love him! I know that, you know that, everybody fucking knows that, stop being a panzy ass and tell him, he’s not a mind reader,” Tyler shouted. Why was he being such a douche to me? “Emily, I care so much for you, I do; I think you are the best thing Sidney ever had in his life,” I went to open my mouth but he cut me off. “You know you love him, don’t bother arguing,”

“I am not going to argue,” I whispered. “What if I do love him? What can I do? DO I tell him? Yes, Tyler I know that’s your choice, but he’s engaged,”

“Oh fuck off with that, he’d drop Carly in a damn heartbeat if he knew you wanted back with him,” He covered my hand with his. “Trust me,”