Before I Wake

"You sure you're okay to go out tonight?" I asked again. "Just because you're getting better doesn't mean you need to push yourself." She rolled her sparkling blue eyes, again. I followed her with my gaze as I watched her enter our kitchen, her tiny heels clicking after her.

I released a small sigh from my lips, slumping back into the couch. Old re-runs of 'Friends' were on and while I wanted nothing more than to focus on Ross screaming at everyone to pivot his couch, one of my all time favorite episodes, my mind kept wandering back to my best friend; Alaine Thomas.

With her long, fit legs, that had every guy's hungry eyes glued to them, her beautiful, flowing, dark hair that cascaded down her back, and her bright blue eyes that drew everyone in, it was no wonder Alaine was always the cause of many guys going home alone after a night at the club. She was never that type of girl, choosing instead to use her wit and wicked sarcasm to put many in their place.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She yelled, drawing out the last bit of her sentence. I let out a laugh, turning to catch her making her way back into the living room, having grabbed bottles of water for the both of us. I sent her a small nod of thanks as she placed herself down beside, her shirt rising slightly.

"I love this episode," She grinned, popping the top off her bottle and taking a small sip.

I nodded once more, a comfortable silence falling over the both of us. It was a Friday night and Alaine was planning on going out for the first time since she began her intensive chemotherapy. To say I was worried as an understatement. It was the night of Zack and the band to perform in front of their largest crowd, having gained a considerable amount of media attention since they began in high school.

"I'll be fine, Chelsea," She broke my thoughts, gaining my attention. She was looking at me with her shadowed lids, giving me a soft smile. "I brought my medication incase I start to feel sick." She stated, holding up her small green clutch and shaking it, hearing her bottle of pills toss and turn inside. I nodded, I knew she would be, especially with Zack around.

"I know," I let out a soft sigh, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I just worry, okay? Just keep in touch tonight and I'll feel a lot better." She let out a soft laugh before pulling me into her side, her perfume wafting into my nose. I felt myself frown, having felt her rib bones protruding out from underneath her shirt.

She gave me a soft push, rising from the couch. "I know I'm nothing but skin and bones, woman, don't make me feel worse about it." She placed her tiny hands on her hips, sending me a grin.

"Alaine," I began, forcing myself to stand. "You look beautiful, as always. Not as hot as me," I stated, gesturing toward my outfit of sweats and a large tee. "But, it will suffice." She let out a large laugh, pulling me in once more. "Thank you," She smiled. I nodded, taking in her outfit once more.

She was significantly taller than me with her black heels on, but, she pulled them off wonderfully. she wore tight black jeans that wrapped around her legs and a black razor back that had a sparkling front that pulled away from her. In the back of my mind, I knew she had worn these things to divert the attention away from her frail legs and protruding bones. Either way, she looked beautiful to me.

"I'll be heading out now," She waved. I watched as she go, willing myself to relax. She'll be fine, you're not her damn mother. I yelled a quick goodbye, hearing the front door slam just as it left my lips. I dragged my gaze back to the television, letting out a large sigh.

I knew Alaine would have loved for me to join her tonight, but, in all honesty, I wanted her to finally make a move on Zack. Anything, really. If I was being honest with myself, I also had no desire to leave the couch, much more comfortable here than at some bar. I smiled, thinking about all the dirty details I would be getting from her tonight and quickly grabbed my cell phone off the floor and sent her a quick text.

Go make Zack your bitch;)

I let out a laugh and hit send, waiting for a reply. I let my mind wander, having nothing else to do to occupy my time. I felt myself sigh softly, overwhelmed at just how drastically everything had changed.

Alaine and I had been best friends since high school and whenever we would discuss our futures, this was definitely not how we planned it going. Alaine had planned to become a nurse and I planned to, well, I still wasn't sure. I let out a grumble as I flipped through the channels, irritated at the amount of indecision in my life. The sudden ping of my cell phone grabbed my attention and I reached for it, knowing Alaine had replied.

You first ;) I'm at the bar, I'll call if anything happens. Much love!

A small laugh left my lips before I sent her a quick reply, checking the time before tossing it the ground. It was almost eleven and I knew that Alaine wouldn't be home for hours, if at all. I rolled my eyes thinking about her getting plastered as a celebration of her progress, chances are she wouldn't be making it home tonight.

A loud pounding at the front door startled me awake, throwing my heart into my throat. Shit, I must have fallen asleep. I let out a groan, the pounding continuing. "One fucking second!" I yelled, my voice cracking at its lack of use. I threw myself into a sitting position, reaching for my phone and checking the time, only to be met with numerous missed calls and texts.

I let out a scoff as I noticed most were from Scott, the last person I wanted to come in contact with. I deleted them, not even bothering to read them. I had a missed called and a text from Alaine, saying she was indeed trashed and spending the night with the boys and to not worry. I sent her a quick reply before throwing myself off the couch and heading toward the door, stumbling a bit.

It was past three in the morning and the last thing I was expecting was to rip open the front door and be met with none other than, Scott. I froze, my hand clasped tightly around the door knob. Fuck, why didn't I bother to check who it was first? I scolded myself as he stepped closer, his tall figure trying to make an entrance. I blocked him with the door, trying my best to keep him at bay.

"What the fuck do you want, Scott?" I snarled, my eyes burning bright. He sent me a scowl, sending shivers up and down my body.

He's dark brown hair was matted to his head, as though he had been running and his eyes held an emotion I had never seen before. He wore a loose black tee, much too large for his figure and his jeans had various rips and tears along it, not unlike him.

"You've haven't been answering my calls or texts." He growled. I narrowed my eyes, watching his every move. He was slowly inching his way closer, clearly intent on making his way inside.

I stepped closer to the frame of the door, bringing the door with me, trying my best to keep it as close to shut as possible."Well," I began, trying to feign indifference. "We broke up, so, I have no reason to keep in contact with you, Scott. I would appreciate it if you left."

His eyes glowed, clearly not pleased at me saying it aloud. Fear slowly crept its way into my heart, but, I tried to push it aside. Scott has never been one to be able to control his temper and that scared me more than I let anyone believe. There were numerous times when he smashed things and punched holes through walls, just to get his way.

"No," He began, taking a small step forward. I placed myself closer to the frame, keeping him back with the hate in my eyes. "You broke us up, I never wanted to leave." I let out an aggravated sigh, locking eyes with him.

"Scott, it's late and all I want to do is go back to sleep, okay? Can we talk about this another time?" I mumbled, not wanting to deal with him right now.

In an instant his was inside the house and I was thrown across the room, stumbling to get my footing once more. The fear I had been trying to quell came rushing at me like a tidal wave, the force throwing me off my feet. I looked at him in astonishment, the fear pooling into my eyes.

"What the fuck?" I seethed, pulling my hand toward my mouth, feeling blood at the end of my fingertips. I caught sight of him, a wide grin adorning his face, clearly proud at his accomplishment. He stalked toward me, cornering me between himself and the back of the couch.

"Want to rethink that whole 'breaking up', thing?" He grinned, his smile sending chills down my spine. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. I gave him a glare that seemed to make him falter for a moment, clearly having my desired effect.

"Go fuck yourself." I seethed, my voice dark.

He snapped, his previous indecision being forgotten as he reached forward and snatched my arm roughly. I collided into his chest, momentarily forgetting where I was.

"How about you instead, darling?" He whispered with a fake sweetness, causing me to scowl. This cannot be happening. Oh, but it was and it continued throughout the night as he dragged me to the floor, his hand covering my lips and creating the worst night of my life.

+++

"Fuck," I sobbed, my voice cracking. I tried rolling out of my bed, my body protesting. Scott had left about an hour ago, but, I had been too terrified to leave the haven of my room, consumed with the fear that he would be waiting for me downstairs, wanting to have his way again.

I staggered toward the bathroom, my legs shaking with every step I took. I winced as caught sight of myself in the mirror, a completely different girl from just hours before. My hair no longer fell in gentle waves down my back, but instead, was knotted and jutting out in all directions, I tried in vain to pat it down, only to have it revert back. My eyes, once sparkling and full of spit fire, were now dull and I believed they would never hold that spark again. I let out a sigh, allowing my clothes to pool around my feet, eager to wash as much of this night away.

I could feel the bruises forming as the hot water pounded my skin, causing me to hiss out in pain. I scrubbed my body as hard as I could, my skin becoming red and raw. I washed my hair a few times, trying my best to remove all the knots before stepping out of the shower and changing into some more sweats and a tee.

I made my way back down toward the living room, taking caution to make sure Scott was no longer there. I heard my cell phone ringing just as my feet touched the first floor, the sound startling me a bit. I made my way toward it, practically dragging myself. The sun filtered through the windows, having risen only a few moments ago and it shone brightly into the room, causing a glare on the television. I stopped, relishing at the feeling as it touched my skin gently, a change from the past few hours.

I felt the tears running down my face before I could stop them and they soon turned into racking sobs, causing my body to crumble to the ground. They wouldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried to quell them, willing them to cease. I felt disgusting, how could I have let this happen? I let out an anguished scream, wanting this darkness I felt inside of me to leave my body. Please, just go.

"Oh, god," I sobbed, crawling toward my phone, ringing once more, but, I was no longer able to hold myself up. I let out a shaky breath, noticing the caller ID; Alaine.

I took in a deep breath, calming myself the best I could before pressing the answer button, sending her a quick hello.

"Chelsea," I heard her sob, my eyes immediately widened in fear. What the fuck happened? Panic rose in my chest, stopping my tears in their tracks, my attention completely focused on her voice.

I heard her continuing to sob, her voice shaking. "He knows," She bawled, her breathing coming out in rapid breaths. Who knows? Is she talking about-

The realization hit me full force before I even finished my thought. "What happened, Alaine?" I begged, needing to know she was okay. My voice had gotten stronger and I knew that she needed me right now.

"We got drunk and he told me he loved me, Chelsea. He fucking said it and then everything went to hell." She sobbed, her voice cracking.

I let out a sigh, this sudden rush of news hitting me in the face. I threw myself off the floor, ignoring the pain and grabbed my car keys, already headed out the apartment. "I'm coming to get you, where are you?" I demanded. She rattled off the address of the bar, explaining how her and Zack had taken a cab, but, she had left once everything, "went to shit" and proceeded to accidentally lock her keys in her car.

"I'm on my way, darling," I winced at the word, not realizing I had said it, having been used to calling Alaine that for a number of years. I heard whisper something and end the call, the numbers flashing brightly across the screen.

"Fuck," I whispered harshly, throwing myself into my Jeep Wrangler, peeling out of the driveway as quickly as possible. Our lives were falling apart and there wasn't shit we could do.