Never Stop Believing
Changes and Choices.
‘September, 18th 1996.
Dear Violet Butterfly,
I arrived yesterday to California. Two day without you. I miss you already. I mean, I miss you a lot. This is so stupid. I’m sorry but this never happened with me. I never felt so stuck with someone like I feel about you.
Well, I’m not writing you to say how much I love you. I’m not like that as you know. But, by the way, I love you my sweet sister Sullivan!
That kiss was very important to me. Okay, I said I wouldn’t talk about that. You’re my sister but you’re a very good kisser!
I showed our photos to my guys. They wanna know you, especially Zacky. Bad luck with Brian, I’m sorry. They loved your eyes. I don’t know why… you don’t have anything in special… (Stupid Jimmy, why are you lying? She’s gorgeous!)
Okay, Vi, I’m sorry but I’ll be lame this time. When I was in that fuckin’ plane I just thought in your amazing eyes, in your soft lips, in your pretty smile, in your long black hair, in our conversation with no sense, in our laughs, in our nights we spent without sleeping just looking at each other saying shit… Gosh! I really need you.
(Okay, go back to you, Jimmy!) What have you done these days? You have to know people. Maybe in your new school. About that… I don’t know where I’ll study. After being kicked out of my last school... That fuckin’ dawn ass Director...
Wow, take care with the boys. I don’t wanna see you with a jackass, okay? Actually, I don’t wanna see you with any guy (I didn’t say that!).
Violet… Violet Butterfly…
I could write everything what I’m thinking but… you’ll be mad with me so… Don’t forget of answer me!
I’m also sending you a photo with my guys.
I miss you, sis.
Jimmy Sullivan’
This was the first of many letters Jimmy wrote to me. I remember the day he went back to States like it was today. I remember I woke up very early to go say goodbye to him. It was about 5am. He had asked me to not go to his house because it would be most difficult to both of us. It was but I don’t regret of it. It seems I’m still feeling his arms around me, that sweet and pressure I felt having his body against mine. Those tears of pain ran over our cheeks while we were stuck in each other. Slowly, his father pulled Jimmy away from me and our bodies were separated. ‘Jimmy, we have to go.’ I wish I had never heard those words. I feel my heart being ripped from my chest and feel everything around me becoming dark.
My brother and I were already study in The American School of London. I was in Arts and he was in a music course. My parents wanted us in an American school because the American education is very different of the European education. They insist on the moral, intellectual and investigations but also not forget the cultural values and the importance of the arts in general in our lives. Less than two years later, my dad told us we had to leave. This time my brother and I protested. We were very happy in our new school and people were cool with us. My mom was also a job: translation. We had a very big discussion and my dad decided to go alone leaving us in London. Some days later, my mom wanted the divorce.
It was very difficult for all of us but was something that my brother and I were waiting for too long. We were sick of travelling. It was difficult for us to have a normal life and I think we grew up quickly because of that.
‘June, 15th 1998.
Dear Jimmy, Rat head,
I’m so fuckin’ happy for you! I hope you and the guys have luck in the future. You’re a very good drummer and I’m sure the guys are good too.
Well, I don’t have good news to give you. My parents divorced. My dad asked us to leave of London and we said no this time. My mom and we are tired of travel. We need to stop. We need friends. We need to study.
My dad went alone to Hong Kong and we’re still here. I fuckin’ love my new school. I love American people (unless you). Hell, yeah… I don’t love you! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART, BROTHER! I miss you Jimmy. Will you come here this year? Please, I need you… you have no idea who much I need you these last months. Every time my dad call to my mom, they discuss with each other and when he talks to us… just say shit and quick conversations like he’s in a hurry. My brother didn’t even want to talk to him... asks me to say that he’s not here or he’s studying. I’m feeling like a piece of shit… I need to comet a crazy thing with you. I need your hug, your words… your affection, your attention, your friendship…
Wow, I’ll have a little sister. My mom is pregnant! (Yeah! A bomb! My parents have just divorced and my mother discovers she is two months pregnant. Lucky baby!) At least, she has us.
I’m listening ‘Sweet child o mine’ by Guns n Roses. Make me remember you.
‘She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stare too long
I'll probably break down and cry’
FUCK YOU, JIMMY. I MISS YOU.
I love you, Sullivan.
Don’t forget me, please.
Violet**’
Two months later, I was alone at home. My mom had gone to a query to know how the baby was and my brother was at his girlfriend's house, Stephanie. Like I was alone and I had so much shit to study and to draw, I turned on my CD player and put one it a CD of Metallica. I put the headphone on my ears and clicked on the play button.
Suddenly I saw a big shadow on my window. I put pause, took off the headphone and walked towards the window. While I was walking, I hear a familiar voice calling my name. I stopped on front of the window trying to understand who was.
“VIOLET? VI? COME ON, I KNOW YOU SAW MY JACKET FLYING! OPEN THE FUCKIN’ WINDOW.” – It was Jimmy! I felt my whole body shaking with his voices coming into my ears. My heart started beating faster and a huge smile appeared at my face. I opened the window and saw Jimmy with his long spiky blonde hair. I stated jumping and screaming like crazy. He looked at me and laughed, screaming too.
“Come to hug me! But don’t bid yourself by the window!”
“I can’t believe you’re here!” – I left my bedroom, running and went downstairs to open the front door to Jimmy. I opened and face Jimmy with his open arms waiting for me. I ran towards him and jumped putting my legs around his waist and my arms around his cheek. I couldn’t help and began crying.
“Oh my God, Jimmy! Why didn’t you tell me you came here this year?”
“I couldn’t. I wanted surprised you. Let me look at you!” – I put my feet on the ground and pulled away from him to face him. He was so different. My God, his hair! He also was so much taller. He looked at me with a funny look like he wasn’t recognizing me. I was wearing a black shirt of Guns n Roses and and gray short jeans. – “My fucking God! Look at you! You’re hot!”
“Jimmy, please…”
“It’s true! God! Well… I have to confess that I wondered so many times how hot you could be with 16.”
“What about you? You look so different! Your hair! I love it. And I have to confess that I also wondered about how you’re look like with 17.”
“I’m sexy, I know! Listen, do you want to take a walk towards our beautiful garden? I miss to be with you there!”
“Sure! I’m so happy to have you here!” – I said, giving him a hug. We kiss my forehead and suddenly, when I was walking to my house to take the key, he grabbed my arm and took me into his arms. He started running down the street and only stopped when I told him I had to go get the key from home. We went back to my house; I took the keys and closed the door. He looked at me with the same naughty look like the first time I saw him. I looked at him with puppy eyes, trying to change his mind but he ran towards me and took me again into his arms. I screamed to him to let me go, but he didn’t let me walk by myself. He was the all path till the garden yelling how much he missed me and we were going to make a revolution together. Everybody was staring at us and it made us laugh harder.
Finally, we arrived to the garden and he pulled me on the floor. I looked at him and he was with the most beautiful smile on earth in his face. He took a deep breath and looked at me, putting his hands on my waist.
“I have to tell you something…”
“Yes?”
“I’ll fucking kill you because you made me love you more than I’d ever wanted.”
“Aww, so cute! The same happened with me. So we’ll kill each other.”
“No, Vi. You don’t understand… I really love you…” – I stared at him, without saying a word. I was waiting to see him laughing and smiling to be sure he was making fun of me. But he didn’t anything. His hand ran towards my hair, putting it behind my ear. Then his hands ran towards the back of my head and I felt him pushing me near him. Our lips were about to touch but suddenly we heard someone yelling for Jimmy.
“JIMMY? YEAH, MAN! YOU’RE BACK!” – We pulled away from each other and looked back. It was my brother Phil with Stephanie, his girlfriend. My brother and Jimmy hugged each other and I greeted Stephanie. My brother is a womanizer but he’s also a heartbreaker, my heartbreaker, I mean, every time he sees me with someone, he stuck in us and just goes away when we have to return home. This time, it wasn’t an exception, even being Stephanie with him, always saying to go.
We went to take a walk all together and at night, we had a dinner in my house to welcome back the Sullivan family. Jimmy and I wanted to talk about what had happened but my brother had taken the day to piss me off.
In the next day, I went to Jimmy’s house. His parents and sister went to visit some museums and staff and we spend the day together. I came there and knocked the door of his bedroom. For the first time of our friendship, we were acting weird with each other.
“Hi!” – I said nigh murmuring.
“Hi, Vi. How are you?” – He said giving me a kiss on my cheek, hesitating a bit.
“We need to talk, Jim.”
“Forget what I said, Vi. I know you don’t love me in the same away. I just a crazy guy who make you laugh and just that.” – He was so fuckin’ wrong. I always felt something really strong for him but I never tell him anything because I knew we were just good friends. That kiss changed my life even I had felt we shouldn’t take a risk and start dating. So, I walked towards him; he was sitting in the same little seat that was near the drum; he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes, this time with a sad look. I took his hand to make him stand up. We were facing each other. My fingers touched his lips, making him closed his eyes for a while to feel my touch.
“I love you since the beginning.”
“As a friend.” – He said, opening his eyes to look at me. I said no with my head and smile to him. We were approaching us from each other and when our lips were almost touching I felt his hands sliding from my shoulders to the bottom of my back.
“I really love you, too.” - I said whispering while our lips were already touching one another but not kissing. He looked at me with a serious look, and the blue of his eyes made me feel my breath going away. I closed my eyes and let me to give me to him. We kissed passionately this time differently from the first time. This time was much was much deeper and effect. It was something we both really wanted. We approached to the bed and he laid me there gently. He laid himself on my top and started kissing my neck and then my mouth, while his hand fleeing through my t-shirt. When I felt his touch near my breast, quickly I stopped the kiss.
“I’m sorry, Vi. I was… I’m sorry.”
“I wanna do it with you.”
“What?”
“I wanna make love with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” - I was virgin. I didn’t know if it would be the first time of Jimmy or not but it wasn’t too long till I discovered. He kissed me again and my hands ran towards his belt. He stopped to kiss me again and this time he took my shirt off throwing it to the ground. I took his one too. His skin touched mine and for the first time I felt the skin of someone else stuck in mine. I moaned making him look at me.
“I did something wrong?”
“No. you’re being perfect… keep kiss me.” – he kissed my lips again and some seconds later his lips travelled along my entire body. He laid down next to me, asking me to go over him this time. Before do what he asked me, I got up of the bed and took my shorts off, standing just with my black underwear. He looked at me like it was the first time we was seeing a semi-naked woman near him. I approached him and took his jeans off, seeing also for the first time his horny member over his boxers.
I went back to the bed and started to kiss his belly, sliding my tongue over his skin making him moan for the first time. His breath became heavy and his chest was up and down with the desire to have my body.
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. I looked up at him and kissed his soft lips, giving me chills over my entire body.
“Are you virgin?” – He asked in the middle of the kiss. I said ‘yes’ with some afraid that he could give up to make love with me. – “Me too.” – I looked at him with a puzzle look and he was with eyes closed but with a suffered look but like he was having pleasure at the same time. – “I’m so fucking scared. I don’t know what to do.”
“So do I.” – I said. It’s true. We both were freaking out with that. We knew how to make love in theory but in practice… not at all. His hands travelled through my back and I felt him taking off my bra and trippingly his hands slide towards my panties, taking them too. I was already naked and in panic. He went back over me and his hands touched every detail of my body. Without stopping kiss me, he took his boxers off. His hands ran towards my deep secret ‘box’ and his fingers began to touch me. We moaned at the same time. I felt his fingers finding out all my weakness, making me feel my body throbbing with desire. I also began to feel some good contractions there that made my heart beating even faster. I let a louder moan getting out of my mouth in the middle of a deep and slowly kiss. The moaning continued for a few more seconds leaving me completely surrendered to him. I wondered lots of times what we feel having an orgasm. For the first time on my life, I found the answer for it.
“Are you calmer now, Vi?”
“Absolutely. And you?”
“Happy to have been able to make you come. Now I don’t know what to do.” – Now it was him who was in panic. I kissed him slowly making our lips stuck in each other. He pulled from me to be able to look to his tense member. He took it and I felt it touch me. I knew probably it would hurt me but I didn’t have the notion about the pain that it would give me. I felt his sensitive member coming inside of me but I felt a huge pain that made me scream. Jimmy stopped and apologized me.
“Vi, I can wait. If you’re not prepared…”
“I’m prepared, Jimmy. And you’re being so lovely with me…”
“I love you, you know that.”
“I love you too.” – Jimmy tried again, this time more slowly. Anyway, it was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. For some seconds, I felt as if someone had cut several times in a row. I looked at Jimmy and he was feeling some pain too. A few moments later, that pain disappeared and gave us so much pleasure that I, in my own, have no words to describe it. We were kissing each other interrupting the kiss with long and strong moans. His movement became faster and faster and we couldn’t help anymore and our bodies exploded with pleasure making us come for the first time in our lives.
Jimmy looked at me with those eyes that make me feel so little, that make me wish him more and more. Those seductive bright eyes which were looking at mines in a different way. I could see the happiness through them. His hand stroked my cheek and them the rest of my body, sliding his fingers up and down. I gave him a long kiss showing him how much I loved him. He answered me in the same way but giving me also a tight hug.
“I'll never let you part. For you're always in my heart.”
In that moment I thought I’ll have him forever… but I was wrong.
Dear Violet Butterfly,
I arrived yesterday to California. Two day without you. I miss you already. I mean, I miss you a lot. This is so stupid. I’m sorry but this never happened with me. I never felt so stuck with someone like I feel about you.
Well, I’m not writing you to say how much I love you. I’m not like that as you know. But, by the way, I love you my sweet sister Sullivan!
That kiss was very important to me. Okay, I said I wouldn’t talk about that. You’re my sister but you’re a very good kisser!
I showed our photos to my guys. They wanna know you, especially Zacky. Bad luck with Brian, I’m sorry. They loved your eyes. I don’t know why… you don’t have anything in special… (Stupid Jimmy, why are you lying? She’s gorgeous!)
Okay, Vi, I’m sorry but I’ll be lame this time. When I was in that fuckin’ plane I just thought in your amazing eyes, in your soft lips, in your pretty smile, in your long black hair, in our conversation with no sense, in our laughs, in our nights we spent without sleeping just looking at each other saying shit… Gosh! I really need you.
(Okay, go back to you, Jimmy!) What have you done these days? You have to know people. Maybe in your new school. About that… I don’t know where I’ll study. After being kicked out of my last school... That fuckin’ dawn ass Director...
Wow, take care with the boys. I don’t wanna see you with a jackass, okay? Actually, I don’t wanna see you with any guy (I didn’t say that!).
Violet… Violet Butterfly…
I could write everything what I’m thinking but… you’ll be mad with me so… Don’t forget of answer me!
I’m also sending you a photo with my guys.
I miss you, sis.
Jimmy Sullivan’
This was the first of many letters Jimmy wrote to me. I remember the day he went back to States like it was today. I remember I woke up very early to go say goodbye to him. It was about 5am. He had asked me to not go to his house because it would be most difficult to both of us. It was but I don’t regret of it. It seems I’m still feeling his arms around me, that sweet and pressure I felt having his body against mine. Those tears of pain ran over our cheeks while we were stuck in each other. Slowly, his father pulled Jimmy away from me and our bodies were separated. ‘Jimmy, we have to go.’ I wish I had never heard those words. I feel my heart being ripped from my chest and feel everything around me becoming dark.
My brother and I were already study in The American School of London. I was in Arts and he was in a music course. My parents wanted us in an American school because the American education is very different of the European education. They insist on the moral, intellectual and investigations but also not forget the cultural values and the importance of the arts in general in our lives. Less than two years later, my dad told us we had to leave. This time my brother and I protested. We were very happy in our new school and people were cool with us. My mom was also a job: translation. We had a very big discussion and my dad decided to go alone leaving us in London. Some days later, my mom wanted the divorce.
It was very difficult for all of us but was something that my brother and I were waiting for too long. We were sick of travelling. It was difficult for us to have a normal life and I think we grew up quickly because of that.
‘June, 15th 1998.
Dear Jimmy, Rat head,
I’m so fuckin’ happy for you! I hope you and the guys have luck in the future. You’re a very good drummer and I’m sure the guys are good too.
Well, I don’t have good news to give you. My parents divorced. My dad asked us to leave of London and we said no this time. My mom and we are tired of travel. We need to stop. We need friends. We need to study.
My dad went alone to Hong Kong and we’re still here. I fuckin’ love my new school. I love American people (unless you). Hell, yeah… I don’t love you! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART, BROTHER! I miss you Jimmy. Will you come here this year? Please, I need you… you have no idea who much I need you these last months. Every time my dad call to my mom, they discuss with each other and when he talks to us… just say shit and quick conversations like he’s in a hurry. My brother didn’t even want to talk to him... asks me to say that he’s not here or he’s studying. I’m feeling like a piece of shit… I need to comet a crazy thing with you. I need your hug, your words… your affection, your attention, your friendship…
Wow, I’ll have a little sister. My mom is pregnant! (Yeah! A bomb! My parents have just divorced and my mother discovers she is two months pregnant. Lucky baby!) At least, she has us.
I’m listening ‘Sweet child o mine’ by Guns n Roses. Make me remember you.
‘She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stare too long
I'll probably break down and cry’
FUCK YOU, JIMMY. I MISS YOU.
I love you, Sullivan.
Don’t forget me, please.
Violet**’
Two months later, I was alone at home. My mom had gone to a query to know how the baby was and my brother was at his girlfriend's house, Stephanie. Like I was alone and I had so much shit to study and to draw, I turned on my CD player and put one it a CD of Metallica. I put the headphone on my ears and clicked on the play button.
Suddenly I saw a big shadow on my window. I put pause, took off the headphone and walked towards the window. While I was walking, I hear a familiar voice calling my name. I stopped on front of the window trying to understand who was.
“VIOLET? VI? COME ON, I KNOW YOU SAW MY JACKET FLYING! OPEN THE FUCKIN’ WINDOW.” – It was Jimmy! I felt my whole body shaking with his voices coming into my ears. My heart started beating faster and a huge smile appeared at my face. I opened the window and saw Jimmy with his long spiky blonde hair. I stated jumping and screaming like crazy. He looked at me and laughed, screaming too.
“Come to hug me! But don’t bid yourself by the window!”
“I can’t believe you’re here!” – I left my bedroom, running and went downstairs to open the front door to Jimmy. I opened and face Jimmy with his open arms waiting for me. I ran towards him and jumped putting my legs around his waist and my arms around his cheek. I couldn’t help and began crying.
“Oh my God, Jimmy! Why didn’t you tell me you came here this year?”
“I couldn’t. I wanted surprised you. Let me look at you!” – I put my feet on the ground and pulled away from him to face him. He was so different. My God, his hair! He also was so much taller. He looked at me with a funny look like he wasn’t recognizing me. I was wearing a black shirt of Guns n Roses and and gray short jeans. – “My fucking God! Look at you! You’re hot!”
“Jimmy, please…”
“It’s true! God! Well… I have to confess that I wondered so many times how hot you could be with 16.”
“What about you? You look so different! Your hair! I love it. And I have to confess that I also wondered about how you’re look like with 17.”
“I’m sexy, I know! Listen, do you want to take a walk towards our beautiful garden? I miss to be with you there!”
“Sure! I’m so happy to have you here!” – I said, giving him a hug. We kiss my forehead and suddenly, when I was walking to my house to take the key, he grabbed my arm and took me into his arms. He started running down the street and only stopped when I told him I had to go get the key from home. We went back to my house; I took the keys and closed the door. He looked at me with the same naughty look like the first time I saw him. I looked at him with puppy eyes, trying to change his mind but he ran towards me and took me again into his arms. I screamed to him to let me go, but he didn’t let me walk by myself. He was the all path till the garden yelling how much he missed me and we were going to make a revolution together. Everybody was staring at us and it made us laugh harder.
Finally, we arrived to the garden and he pulled me on the floor. I looked at him and he was with the most beautiful smile on earth in his face. He took a deep breath and looked at me, putting his hands on my waist.
“I have to tell you something…”
“Yes?”
“I’ll fucking kill you because you made me love you more than I’d ever wanted.”
“Aww, so cute! The same happened with me. So we’ll kill each other.”
“No, Vi. You don’t understand… I really love you…” – I stared at him, without saying a word. I was waiting to see him laughing and smiling to be sure he was making fun of me. But he didn’t anything. His hand ran towards my hair, putting it behind my ear. Then his hands ran towards the back of my head and I felt him pushing me near him. Our lips were about to touch but suddenly we heard someone yelling for Jimmy.
“JIMMY? YEAH, MAN! YOU’RE BACK!” – We pulled away from each other and looked back. It was my brother Phil with Stephanie, his girlfriend. My brother and Jimmy hugged each other and I greeted Stephanie. My brother is a womanizer but he’s also a heartbreaker, my heartbreaker, I mean, every time he sees me with someone, he stuck in us and just goes away when we have to return home. This time, it wasn’t an exception, even being Stephanie with him, always saying to go.
We went to take a walk all together and at night, we had a dinner in my house to welcome back the Sullivan family. Jimmy and I wanted to talk about what had happened but my brother had taken the day to piss me off.
In the next day, I went to Jimmy’s house. His parents and sister went to visit some museums and staff and we spend the day together. I came there and knocked the door of his bedroom. For the first time of our friendship, we were acting weird with each other.
“Hi!” – I said nigh murmuring.
“Hi, Vi. How are you?” – He said giving me a kiss on my cheek, hesitating a bit.
“We need to talk, Jim.”
“Forget what I said, Vi. I know you don’t love me in the same away. I just a crazy guy who make you laugh and just that.” – He was so fuckin’ wrong. I always felt something really strong for him but I never tell him anything because I knew we were just good friends. That kiss changed my life even I had felt we shouldn’t take a risk and start dating. So, I walked towards him; he was sitting in the same little seat that was near the drum; he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes, this time with a sad look. I took his hand to make him stand up. We were facing each other. My fingers touched his lips, making him closed his eyes for a while to feel my touch.
“I love you since the beginning.”
“As a friend.” – He said, opening his eyes to look at me. I said no with my head and smile to him. We were approaching us from each other and when our lips were almost touching I felt his hands sliding from my shoulders to the bottom of my back.
“I really love you, too.” - I said whispering while our lips were already touching one another but not kissing. He looked at me with a serious look, and the blue of his eyes made me feel my breath going away. I closed my eyes and let me to give me to him. We kissed passionately this time differently from the first time. This time was much was much deeper and effect. It was something we both really wanted. We approached to the bed and he laid me there gently. He laid himself on my top and started kissing my neck and then my mouth, while his hand fleeing through my t-shirt. When I felt his touch near my breast, quickly I stopped the kiss.
“I’m sorry, Vi. I was… I’m sorry.”
“I wanna do it with you.”
“What?”
“I wanna make love with you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” - I was virgin. I didn’t know if it would be the first time of Jimmy or not but it wasn’t too long till I discovered. He kissed me again and my hands ran towards his belt. He stopped to kiss me again and this time he took my shirt off throwing it to the ground. I took his one too. His skin touched mine and for the first time I felt the skin of someone else stuck in mine. I moaned making him look at me.
“I did something wrong?”
“No. you’re being perfect… keep kiss me.” – he kissed my lips again and some seconds later his lips travelled along my entire body. He laid down next to me, asking me to go over him this time. Before do what he asked me, I got up of the bed and took my shorts off, standing just with my black underwear. He looked at me like it was the first time we was seeing a semi-naked woman near him. I approached him and took his jeans off, seeing also for the first time his horny member over his boxers.
I went back to the bed and started to kiss his belly, sliding my tongue over his skin making him moan for the first time. His breath became heavy and his chest was up and down with the desire to have my body.
He grabbed my hand and kissed it. I looked up at him and kissed his soft lips, giving me chills over my entire body.
“Are you virgin?” – He asked in the middle of the kiss. I said ‘yes’ with some afraid that he could give up to make love with me. – “Me too.” – I looked at him with a puzzle look and he was with eyes closed but with a suffered look but like he was having pleasure at the same time. – “I’m so fucking scared. I don’t know what to do.”
“So do I.” – I said. It’s true. We both were freaking out with that. We knew how to make love in theory but in practice… not at all. His hands travelled through my back and I felt him taking off my bra and trippingly his hands slide towards my panties, taking them too. I was already naked and in panic. He went back over me and his hands touched every detail of my body. Without stopping kiss me, he took his boxers off. His hands ran towards my deep secret ‘box’ and his fingers began to touch me. We moaned at the same time. I felt his fingers finding out all my weakness, making me feel my body throbbing with desire. I also began to feel some good contractions there that made my heart beating even faster. I let a louder moan getting out of my mouth in the middle of a deep and slowly kiss. The moaning continued for a few more seconds leaving me completely surrendered to him. I wondered lots of times what we feel having an orgasm. For the first time on my life, I found the answer for it.
“Are you calmer now, Vi?”
“Absolutely. And you?”
“Happy to have been able to make you come. Now I don’t know what to do.” – Now it was him who was in panic. I kissed him slowly making our lips stuck in each other. He pulled from me to be able to look to his tense member. He took it and I felt it touch me. I knew probably it would hurt me but I didn’t have the notion about the pain that it would give me. I felt his sensitive member coming inside of me but I felt a huge pain that made me scream. Jimmy stopped and apologized me.
“Vi, I can wait. If you’re not prepared…”
“I’m prepared, Jimmy. And you’re being so lovely with me…”
“I love you, you know that.”
“I love you too.” – Jimmy tried again, this time more slowly. Anyway, it was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. For some seconds, I felt as if someone had cut several times in a row. I looked at Jimmy and he was feeling some pain too. A few moments later, that pain disappeared and gave us so much pleasure that I, in my own, have no words to describe it. We were kissing each other interrupting the kiss with long and strong moans. His movement became faster and faster and we couldn’t help anymore and our bodies exploded with pleasure making us come for the first time in our lives.
Jimmy looked at me with those eyes that make me feel so little, that make me wish him more and more. Those seductive bright eyes which were looking at mines in a different way. I could see the happiness through them. His hand stroked my cheek and them the rest of my body, sliding his fingers up and down. I gave him a long kiss showing him how much I loved him. He answered me in the same way but giving me also a tight hug.
“I'll never let you part. For you're always in my heart.”
In that moment I thought I’ll have him forever… but I was wrong.