The Things We Wanted Most

"Woah, woah, woah. What are you talking about? You said you've never thought about that?" Mike spit out quickly. My eyes widened as I realized we had had this conversation before. When I first had my panic attack, I told the boys the Siren boys had saved me.

"You didn't exactly look in the right place." I mumbled.

"What is going on here? How do you know us, I'm sorry I don't exactly remember meeting you." Kellin responded, sounding extremely sorry.

"I didn't exactly expect you to remember me. It was a while ago. And seemingly small." I whispered, grabbing onto Mike's hand to play with his fingers. I could feel his heartbeat against my shoulder blades, which calmed me down some seeing as how I was freaking out on the inside.

"I guess its now or never for you guys to get to know me right?" I whispered again, looking over at the new boys and the old boys.

"You don't have to, you-" Mike started, but I cut him off.

"Please, it's kind of a closing process." I begged, looking over at all the men filling my couches, or their couches. They each nodded at me, wide eyes and bushy taled, to hear the latest story.

"Honestly babe, you don't have to. It doesn't matter to us."

"It matters to her though," Vic told his brother, smiling over at me. I breathed out, shifting slightly in Mike's lap.

"So about five years ago...I went to a theater showing with my mom and little brother. It was a small theater that was right across the street from a club type thing where a whole bunch of bands play. You boys have probably heard of it, Jaime, Tony. We were leaving the theater though, after we had watched a musical rendition of some show my mother loved. I remember my dad couldn't be there because he had a shift at the station. I was so mad at him that night. It was really cold out and my brother was complaining about it being freezing so my mom had him bundled into her coat. She had just begun to cross the street and I wasn't paying attention because a group of guys had come stomping out of the club. They weren't any older than me, a couple years of difference. But what caught my attention was that one of them, the one in the front was singing loudly. But I couldn't blame him because his voice was amazing." I breathed deeply, trying to not let my emotions control me. My body was shaking by this point and Mike was trying to calm me down by rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

"I knew the bands that were supposed to play that night. Sleeping With Sirens was among them. They are extremely new, in fact this was their first moving tour. Anyways, my mom was in the middle of the street when a car came out of no where and before I could call out to my mom, it had screeched to a stop and two guys stepped out, each holding a semi automatic hand gun. And before I could blink, they unloaded their clips into he street. I didn't understand it at the time. I couldn't grasp the sound of the creams. I couldn't understand why someone could do that. Kill or injure so many people and not even feel bad about it. As soon as it was done, I remembered my mom and little brother and immediately stood up from my spot on the ground, not remembering how I got there in the first place." This time I looked up from my boyfriends colored hands, to the group of men surrounding me and noticed their shocked expressions. I lifted myself from Mike, feeling his arms fall from around me. I turned around and straddled his legs. I grabbed Michaels attention, holding his eyes with mine.

"My little brother was so bloody, so so bloody. He had fallen from my moms arms, laying in the black pavement motionless. I could hear a loud scream in my ear, but didn't register that it was mine. I fell to my knees in front of my mom. She had her eyes opened, but just barely. She was holding her chest tightly, like she was trying to keep herself together. I remember hearing someone asking me something, and I hadn't thought about being a tall boy with straight black hair until a couple years ago. I had this annoying searing pain on my shoulder blade, but I didn't want to think about it until I knew what my mom, my dying mom was trying to whisper to me." I unzipped the jacket a little bit, slipping the material down my shoulder, exposing the ugly scar that littered my pale skin.

"The voice speaking to me, was quietly singing something and it had calmed down my erracticly beating heart. He got me to lay down on my right side and he pushed both hands onto my shoulder and pain flodded my body again. All I could think about was the angelic voice filling my head. My eyes found my moms. The look on her face pierced my heart, it was so distant yet filled with a raw emotion. When someone else started talking to me, blocking out the singing angel, my mom smiled at me comfortingly and closed her eyes. And I watched her take last struggling breath." I felt tears slide down my face. I took another deep breath, breaking my hold with Mikes eyes and looking over at the concentrating face of the one and only, singing angel, Kellin Quinn.

"My singing angel only let me go, after the paramedics forced him to. And I never got the chance to thank him. So thank you Kellin and thank you boys, your music has saved my life."