Bad Romance

On my double date with Austin I have never been so nervous. And when I tend to get nervous I talk.. constantly. The whole time we were at dinner I felt like I was annoying Austin because he didn't say much. As for Maddie and Alan well they were engulfed in themselves to pay any attention to us. I'll going to have to smack Maddie when we get home for that.

Austin sighs noticeably loud after I finish a story about working at Disney Land.

"Sorry if I'm boring you." I murmur quietly and give him a weak smile. I look over at Alan and Maddie who are bumping noises and chanting some stupid love yous, "Are we ready?" I ask, breaking them away from each other.

"Sure." Alan replies and glances over at Austin who gives him a shrug.

It's a very awkward and silent trip back to our apartment. I mostly just look at Instagram on my phone to make things less uncomfortable. I hear Alan and Maddie going at it in the back seat and roll my eyes.

"Kill me now." I mumble and gain a chuckle from Austin. Glancing over at him he gives me a warm hearted smile. "I swear if Alan 'spends the night' again I'm going to kill myself." I tell him. He laughs again but continues to drive. Maybe I should just stop talking. Or maybe I should give up completely on this.. whatever this is between us.

Once we are back at our apartment Alan of course carries Maddie bridestyle into our home while me and Austin awkwardly follow behind.

"Alan are you staying the night?" I ask bluntly as he sets Maddie down. Austin shuts the door behind us after we enter.

"I was going to.." he replies quietly.

I give Maddie a glare, "I'll be in my room then." I announce and scramble off to my safe haven, slamming the door for full effect of course.

Collapsing on my bed I hear my guests talking, "What's up with her?" Alan asks.

"I don't know.. probably forgot her meds or something." Maddie replies sarcastically. Why on earth would she ever say that in front of Austin?

"Meds?" Austin pipes in.

Oh great. Now you've done it Maddie.

There's a long pause, "Nothing.." Maddie tells him.

"Maybe you should go talk to her man." Alan offers and I'm sure Maddie nods. They're just trying to get Austin away so they can fuck.

Austin probably shrugs before I hear his footsteps near my door then a light knock appears.

"What?" I call out.

"Could I come in?"

"Sure why the fuck not." I groan and roll over in my bed.

The door opens as he enters then shuts once he's inside. My bed dips down as he sits next to me.

"This is cute." Austin breaks the silence.

I sit up and watch as he looks over a picture frame. It's a picture of me from when I was about 13. It was my first concert. I'm dressed in short shorts and a bandeau bra. Classic colorful body paint is covered across my pale frame. My hair is curly and sweaty as I smile for the camera. A large moshpit is behind me. My first and last boyfriend took me to that show. Just seeing Austin hold it brings back the horrible memories.

"Not really." I snatch the picture away from him and throw it down somewhere.

He turns around to look at me carefully. It's one of those awkward moments where the guy is supposed to lean in and romantically kiss the girl but instead he scrunches his nose at me then looks away.

Great job Nix..

"You like Star Wars?" he asks, pointing to my Star Wars blanket.

"No," I reply looking at the same blanket, "I bought it at a thrift shop for 2 dollars. Hell I've never even seen it."

"What?!" he looks at me like I'm crazy.

I just shrug.

"You have to watch it. It's my favorite movie!" his voice almost sounds like one of the kids at Disney who gets to ride their favorite ride for the first time.

I can't help but grin, "Maybe I'll have to." I tell him.

He lays down next to me and I shudder. I haven't been this close to a male in forever. But being in Austin's presence is comforting. And I've never felt that way with someone before.

"You wanna watch tv?" I ask.

He nods and I reach for the remote. Turning on the tv my saved shows pops up, the only one I save is The Carrie Diaries.

"Is this okay?" I ask slightly embarrassed.

"Looks perfect to me." he replies with the biggest smile before wrapping his warm arm around my tiny body.

Whatever this feeling is in the pit of my stomach has my head spinning. I know it's from Austin and I can't help but feel whatever will happen between us in the future is going to hurt more than ever. I think my brain is telling me to get the hell away from him. But my heart clings to him more and more each second.