You're Automatic.

Oh god, that look of indifference was almost heartbreaking. He looked like he didn't want to hurt my feelings but he didn't want to lie; he looked like this was just a stupid question that he had already answered. Why was I always so damn stupid!?

[Bill's POV]
I should've seen that question coming, especially after the way I had been acting all day. I really did want to tell her the truth; that I cared more about her than anyone I'd ever met, that it made me really happy to be able to see her and talk to her all the time. I wanted to tell her how glad I was to have met her and have her around.

But Tom... I couldn't betrayed him like that. He was my brother and I could tell he liked her from the minute he'd seen her. Maybe I was just making excuses, but I couldn't stand doing that to him. He'd hate me.

However, on the other hand, she had poured her heart out to me earlier about some really bad things that she had lived through. That had to mean something, right? And I had confessed what I thought about her earlier. She had answered my question truthfully, why should I show the same courtesy?
"I think you're a really great person and I love having you around." More than she could ever understand. "You're the sweetest girl I've ever met and you're a really friend."

I watched as she shut her eyes and sighed, "Yeah... Right... 'Friend'." Her voice was barely above a whisper and a tear escaped her closed eyes.

"No, wait, Amy; let me finish." I reached over and grabbed her hand but she pulled away, still staring at the ceiling. "Amanda, please?" I begged, putting my hand on her shoulder. She rolled over, facing away from me.

She sighed. "No, I get it. I'm just Tom's girl, just your friend. Nothing more, nothing less." She pushed my hand from her shoulder. "You really don't need to explain, I get it." There was hurt and bitterness in her voice.

"No, stop. Listen to what I have to say, please!" I tried to make her face me again but she resisted and shrugged my hand off. I opened my mouth to finish, whether she was looking at me or not, so she could know the truth once and for all. I barely got a breath out before Tom knocked on the door and walked in.

"Hey, no cutting in on my night in the bed," he teased with a smirk. His smirk disappeared when he looked at Amy. "What's wrong?" He went to walk over to her, but she put her hand up.

She sat up and wiped the tears away, forcing a smile toward him. "Nothing, everything's fine." She looked at me for a second before crawling of the bed and walking over to him. She stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug.

He hugged her for a minute before pulling back to look at her. He cupped her face in his hands and looked at her, eyes concerned. "Would you tell me if something was wrong?" She nodded and he smiled, putting his forehead against hers and playing with his lip ring; a sure sign he wanted to kiss her like mad.

She smiled and nodded, "Yes." She bit her lip and giggled when he gave her an eskimo kiss.

I was suddenly nonexistent to them, invisible. I watched as Tom hesitantly tilted his head and gently pressed his lips to hers, and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

No, no, no, this was all wrong! I wanted to scream out, I had to finish what I was saying; Amanda had to know! But it was too late... And there was no escape from this torture as they blocked the only exit.

Every second felt like a million years, but I finally stumbled to my feet and pushed past them - a task not easily accomplished. I felt like I was walking through mud, dragging my feet as I walked out of the suite. I knocked on the door across the hall.

Gustav opened the door and smiled at me. "Hey, Bill, what's up?" He stepped aside to let me in, shutting the door behind me. His smile vanished when he took a good look at my face. "Are you okay? You don't look so good..." He looked at Georg as he paused his game and looked at me.

I sat on the couch and put my face in my hands. I wanted to cry so badly but they had already seen my breakdown once today. So I had to keep myself together until I was alone. "Yeah, I'm fine," I muttered, sitting back and letting my hands drop. I stared vacantly at the television screen at the pause screen of Georg's game.

Gustav bit his lip and sat in a chair. He looked at me and I could tell he wasn't convinced by my lie but wasn't going to pry. "Alright..." There was an awkward silence for a couple minutes. "Were are Tom and Mandy?"

I scoffed and made a face, looking at him. "I'll give you one guess." I blinked back the tears and swallowed the lump in my throat, shaking my head.

Gustav pursed his lips and looked at Georg again. "At least we know what's wrong now," Georg said, chuckling awkwardly. "Sorry, Bill. We know you like her... A lot." He clapped me on the back.

That was the thing, though. She had asked me twice if I liked her. I lied to her the first time then my chance was torn away from me the second. And now she was with Tom... and I didn't even want to think about what was going on in the suite across the hall.

"Do they know?" Georg asked, unpausing his game. "That you like her, I mean?"

I shook my head. "I didn't even know you guys knew. I was going to tell her tonight, but tom came in and ruined it... And I never told him. But I knew he liked her, and I didn't want to betray him." I sighed. "I just want them to be happy, I guess." I stared blankly at the screen, not paying any attention to what was going on.

Gustav tossed me a beer. "You want them to be happy, even if that means you're miserable?" He sounded a little annoyed. I nodded and he scoffed. "Man up, Bill! She likes you, anyone can tell you that! And you're just going to let Tom steal her away?" He shook his head.

I sighed and opened the bottle, playing with the cap. "If that's what makes them happy, then yes..." I sat quietly while Gustav and Georg kept telling me to "man up" and not be a wimp. Finally I stood up. "I'm going to get another room. Danke, Gustav, Georg." I walked out of their suite and toward the elevator.

I sat in the corner for a minute, shoving the heels of my hands into my eyes and gritting my teeth. Gustav and Georg's words repeated in my head: "Man up! Don't be such a wimp! You're just gonna let him steal her away?" I slammed my fist into one of the walls and covered my face with my hands. Why was I always so stupid?

I looked around, startled as the elevator door opened again and an older man walked in, looking equally as startled to see me."Are you alright, son?" I nodded and he returned the gesture. "Are you going down?" he asked, pushing the button for the lobby.

I nodded again, giving a short and sharp sarcastic laugh. I looked at the ceiling as the elevator began to move, "Yeah... Way down." It really felt like there was nowhere else I could go. I had messed up and it was too late.
[End POV]