Ignite.

By the time we arrived at the New York apartment, Anne was already home from work and curled up on the couch watching the news. She was quick to greet us and offered to make some tea, but Harry politely declined, itching to get to his room. Which didn’t exactly make sense to me since Anne was home, but within fifteen minutes, he was near slamming his door behind us and tossing me onto the bed. His body was soon on top of mine as he trailed kisses down my jaw and neck.

“Babe, hang on,” I panted out, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him up some. His eyebrows knit together as he stared down at me for a few moments.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just- your mom-“

“She won’t care,” he muttered dismissively before continuing his assault on my neck.

“It’s just weird.” I could practically feel Harry rolling his eyes as he replied with a clipped,

“I promise you she doesn’t think I’m a virgin.”

“I know, but Harry-“

“I just need to be close to you right now. Plus, it’s kind of hot knowing someone’s so close-“ And again my hand was on his chest and pushing him away from me. He looked exasperated as he raised up onto his knees, breathing a bit erratically. “Jude-“

“Look, I don’t know what your other pals were into, but-“

“Pals, right. I keep forgetting that you think I was an absolute whore,” he spat out, moving farther away from me.

“Stop, I didn’t mean it like that!” I pulled myself up as I reached for him, but he was already getting off the bed.

“Well you’ve got a great way of making it sound like that. I know I used to get around, but Christ, Jude! Stop punishing me for it.” His nostrils flared as he ran a hand through his hair, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

“I’m not! Please, Harry, can we not fight? Especially after everything this morning.”

“Fine,” he spat, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“Dunno yet.”

“Wait, you’re leaving leaving?” I called exasperatedly and he quickly whipped around to face me again.

“You don’t want to fight and I don’t want to say something stupid, so.” And with that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. I heard Anne ask him what was wrong, but the only response she got was the front door slamming shut.

Brilliantly done, Judith.

—

It was nearly eight before Anne came to check on me, and I’d barely moved since Harry left, only laying back down and staring at the ceiling and wondering whether I should text him or not. Upon hearing her enter the room though, I pulled myself back into a sitting position and gave her a small, nervous smile.

“Hi, Sweetie. I tried calling H, but he’s not picking up. However, I’m getting hungry, so I was wondering if you’d like to come get dinner with me?” I hesitated for a second, wondering if it was acceptable to go get dinner with your boyfriend’s mother after you’d gotten into an argument with him. But then I decided that Harry and I were never really good at following protocol in this relationship anyway, so I offered Anne another smile.

“That sounds good, thanks.” She grinned brightly back at me before excusing herself to go find some shoes and saying she’d meet me at the door. So I pulled myself off of Harry’s annoyingly comfortable bed and sprayed just a dash of fresh perfume on, stopping only for a few seconds at the floor length mirror to make sure I looked decent.

I was just slipping my coat back on when Anne joined me in the living room and then we were off. We’d ended up at some Asian fusion place and Anne was doing a spectacular job of keeping the topic on anything but Harry. But all good things must come to an end, yeah?

“Oh, that’s a pretty bracelet, love. Did H get that for you?”

“Uh, yeah, just after he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“Mm, he’s always had nice taste in jewelry, bless him. I’m sorry about how he stormed off earlier, though. He-“

“No, it was, uhm, my fault, mostly.”

“Was it about sex?” And I nearly choked on my water.

“Sorry?” I choked out in between coughs. She let out a small chuckle before continuing.

“Sorry, love. But he was trying to get out of the room as soon as you two got there. I could put two and two together.”

“Anne, I’m so sorry-“ But she was laughing again and waving me off.

“Oh stop, he’s twenty-one. He can do what he wants. I mean, thank you for, y’know- not while I was in the apartment. But it’s okay.”

“It’s just been a really weird day for us,” I let out with a huge puff of air.

“Mm, I’m sure it doesn’t help that he hates it in New York.”

“What? Harry loves it up here,” I countered, my eyebrows knitting together as I leaned back in my seat and Anne sighed.

“Well, yes, I suppose. Being here always puts him on edge though.” She paused, as if waiting for me to ask what she meant before continuing. “Their dad lives in the city, and Harry- well, let’s just say he’d probably be okay if he dropped dead. And he never wants to run into him, and I think he’s convinced himself that his dad’s just going to find him if he knows he’s here and ruin everything.”

“I know it’s not my place, really, but- why does Harry hate him so much?”

“H has always been very protective of me and Gemma. Their father’s not a good person, Jude, he never really has been. Granted he wasn’t as despicable when I fell in love with him, but it was always there. He got worse to us toward the end, never physically abusive or anything, but a bit verbally. And then he started coming home less, saying he was busy with work. Eventually we would find out that it was more drugs and sleeping around than work, and Harry took it all very hard. He was about fifteen at the time, so he understood everything that was going on when his father filed for divorce. Tried to beat him up in my honor, actually. Damn near got himself killed. So long story short, Harry’s never really forgiven him. And we thought we’d left him in London with everything, but he ended up moving to New York about four years ago. That’s why Harry moved to Philadelphia. So as you can imagine, Harry’s never really himself when he’s here.”

“Anne, I- I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry-“

“No no, babe, it’s okay. Trust me, I’m much happier without him. I just wish Harry could let it go. He internalizes it all and I just know it eats him up still. That’s why he’s so nervous with you. He doesn’t want to ever become his father and hurt you like his father hurt me. He was in a bad place before he met you, Jude, which I’m sure you’ve heard. But he’s been so different with you around. He really loves you, you know.” A small, fond smile sat on her lips as she took a long sip of her water, and I couldn’t keep one of my own from forming.

“I know he does. I feel sort of bad that I’m not ready just yet to say it back, but-“

“Don’t feel bad for that. Honestly, if you said without meaning it, I’m sure H would know and he’d hate that. He would never want it from you unless you were ready and meant it. Harry takes that word very seriously after everything that happened. Y’know, I think it might be a good idea for you to talk about everything with him. His father, and all that. It might do him some good to know that he can come to you about that instead of hiding it from you.”

“I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable or anything though.”

“Mm, fair enough. Think about it though, yeah?” And then the conversation was over as our waitress returned to deliver our check and I was left to process everything that Anne had just shared with me. It definitely connected a few dots and explained Harry a bit further, but it was heartbreaking to know he was carrying around all that spite and hatred all the time, especially in New York.

—

Upon returning to the apartment and ignoring the fact that Harry still hadn’t tried to contact me, I headed to his room and changed into a pair of leggings and one of his hoodies. It was long enough to cover my ass, but not so big that I felt like I was swimming in it. Anne and I met back in the living room for tea and a Property Brothers marathon, and as the episodes drifted by, I was becoming less and less sure that Harry was going to come home that night. It was nearing two, and Anne had long since excused herself to get some sleep, when my phone started ringing with a call from a New York number.

“Hello?” I asked quietly, my voice a little scratchy from lack of use paired with the fact that I’d been drifting in and out of sleep for close to an hour.

“Hey, babe, it’s Louis.” I really should have had their numbers by then, honestly.

“Oh, hey. Have you heard from Harry?”

“Yeah, that’s actually why I’m calling-“

“Is he okay?” I quickly asked, shooting up in my seat and feeling instantly awake.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s fine. Just completely sloshed and won’t shut up about you. Thought you were both coming to Niall’s?”

“Yeah, that was the game plan, but we, uhm, got into an argument earlier.”

“Right, well, do you think you could maybe come over? He’s getting really soppy and I think it’d be best if he saw you.”

“I’ll get a cab now. Text me the address?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks, I’ll see you in twenty.” And then I was clicking out of the call and rushing to the bedroom to pull on a pair of white hightop Converse and grab my wallet. By the time I was tossing myself into the back of a taxi, Louis had texted me the address and I was off. My leg was bouncing the entire fifteen minute ride and I practically leapt from the vehicle when he pulled up to Niall’s building, tossing a few bills to the driver and booking it inside and to the elevator. Louis had told me to just let myself in when I got there, so I did just that.

There were less people there than I’d anticipated for a get together at Niall’s, but I wasn’t complaining, as I was still wearing leggings for pants. Louis was sprawled out on one of the couches and spotted me immediately, hopping up and coming over to offer me a hug.

“Hey, Lou. Where is he?” I asked as we pulled apart, my eyes darting all over the room, but not spotting the curly mop of hair.

“He’s in the kitchen. Absolutely smashing it at beer pong, the bloody twat. He’s the only person I know who gets better when he’s pissed!” Louis cried before ushering me into the kitchen, where Harry was sinking a shot and Niall was letting out a groan before downing the beer in the cup. And I didn’t realize how pleased I was to not see a girl hanging on him until it happened. “Your girl’s here, Haz,” Louis called then, causing Harry to spin to face us, his eyes incredibly wide and incredibly glassy, but also incredibly happy.

“Jude!” he cried as he stepped forward and scooped me into his arms, pressing himself as close to me as he could. “’S my jumper,” he murmured as he nuzzled his face into the space between my neck and shoulder, and I just pet down the hair at the nape of his neck in response, just happy to be close to him. “Judey, Judey, Judey, Jud-ay,” he sang softly before letting out a tiny hiccup and snuffling into my neck. I almost rolled my eyes at his antics, but I couldn’t help but be a tiny bit endeared. I always forgot that Harry got terribly affectionate when he was drunk.

“Do you want to go sit down, babe?” I asked quietly, to which he slowly nodded before pulling away so we could walk. His arm stayed draped around my shoulder as I led him into the living room, much to the displeasure of Niall. I placed myself in the corner of one of the couches, and Harry quickly fell down next to me, pulling himself close and resting his head near my collarbone so he could still talk to me. His arms wrapped around my waist as he got settled and then he placed a small kiss to the side of my neck. My arm was draped behind him, my hand softly carding through his curls.

“‘M sorry I was such a twat earlier,” he finally murmured, his arms tightening just the slightest bit around me.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did. You know I didn’t mean it, right?” And he nodded again.

“I don’t like fighting with you. Makes me sad,” he told me, and he even pouted softly to himself for effect.

“I don’t like fighting with you either, Sweetie. But it’s okay, we’re okay now.” He pulled away a little bit and tilted his head up to look at me better.

“You promise?”

“I promise.” And then a soft, dopey smile touched his lips before he quickly pressed them to mine in a soft peck.

“Good. I love you.” Then he pecked my lips again and rested his head back on my collarbone. Before I could dish out my usual ‘I know’, Harry was pulling himself back up to look at me again. “‘M hungry. Can we go find food?” So food it was. As Harry pulled himself up from the couch, he unhooked his keys from his belt loop, telling me that the Range Rover was downstairs and that there was a 7-Eleven a few minutes away.

So after passing around goodbyes to everybody and promises to hang out soon, Harry and I were off. I probably should’ve used my phone’s GPS to get us there instead of a drunken Harry, since that just added three wrong turns and an extra ten minutes onto our journey. But we finally made it there and Harry was rifling through all of the chips, trying to decide which one he wanted when the bell above the door gave a faint tinkle. A tall man with salt and pepper hair breezed by the two of us, heading for the refrigerators, but his eyes stayed on Harry for much longer than I was comfortable with. The man pretended to be looking at drinks, but his eyes would dart back to Harry every few seconds.

“Hey, so don’t be freaked out, but that guy keeps looking over here,” I whispered to Harry as I nudged his side. He barely spared the man a glance before returning his gaze to the chips. But then a few seconds later something clicked and his head whipped back up. As realization dawned on his face, his hand immediately shot out to grab mine, pulling me closer into his side.

“We need to go. Now.” Before I could respond, Harry was pulling me toward the exit. We were just about there when Harry stopped abruptly, his grip on my hand tightening to the point where it hurt. My head shot over to see what was wrong, and the older man now had a hand on Harry’s shoulder. We both whipped around to face the man and I found myself leaning more into Harry’s side.

“Harry, do you know him?” I got out in a strained whisper, and Harry squeezed my hand again in what I assumed was reassurance.

“He’s my dad.”