Abused

I grab my heavy bag and rush to the door. Damn, why do I always pack too much stuff with me? I have to be prepared for anything that might happen during the next two or three days. It's probably because during our lockdowns they are all men, except me, so I can't really borrow stuff. From Zak maybe, but his clothes are too big for me.

It's bit past eight. Zak told me they would pick me up at eight, but I don't mind them being late. It's probably because of Zak, again. I roll my eyes. He can be so slow sometimes, just like.. Just like a girl. I grin.

I have to go trough everything I have in my bag, once again. I have to ensure that I have everything necessary with me. It wouldn't be very nice to forget something very necessary, like a toothbrush. That's something I really don't want to borrow from any of the guys!

I unzip my bag and look inside. I see three shirts under my sweatpants. All very neatly, which means that I had too much time to do the packing. Usually I just throw everything in my bag and they're all a mess when I open it. I also see my best skinny jeans, the black ones. Right next to them, there is a black top, which might be a bit too much because of the glitter it has on it, but I like it though. And you'll never know where you'll go with Zak. Really. Under them I can see my shorts, the ones I use for sleeping, and my underwear and toothbrush, a bottle of my favourite shampoo and some spare socks. It's not that I had to change my socks many times a day, but I usually lose some of them when I am not home. And I hate to look for them, especially in a hurry. I am really hopeless with my stuff. I'd probably lose my own head, if it wasn't attached to my body!

I zip the zipper of my bag, and just on time to notice a white van in the corner of my eye. It's them. They're here! I feel a bit excited. I haven't seen Nick and Aaron in a couple of days, and I've really missed them. They are like my family now. I've missed Aaron's dumb jokes and laughter, and Nick's complains about my food or wearing too little clothes outside. I roll my eyes and unlock the door.

I step completely outside in the fresh evening air. It feels good, knowing that I get to be with them for almost three days. But the drive, eight hours in the same van, it doesn't sound very exciting. Even though it almost makes me think about flying as a better option. Nah, I'm not that desperate. Nothing is worse than flying. Besides, I could probably sleep for most of the time- Just hoping that the one behind the wheel won't sleep though!

I shut the door behind me and feel my pockets to ensure that I have my phone with me. It's not that I am addicted to my phone, but I just can't survive for three days without it with these guys. Zak is the worst. He has to tweet about everything, and I really mean it. Once I caught him tweeting about the ground, how it's not nice to walk on so many rocks. I roll my eyes. These guys are on twitter like 24/7. My pocket feels empty and I remember that I no longer have a phone. Zak kicked it on the wall. I roll my eyes. I'll just need to distract Zak so he can't be on twitter all the time, and I think I know a few nice ways to do it.

Nick is behind the wheel. I can see his smile. He waves his hand casually. I smile and wave back at him. No wonder they didn't put Zak behind the wheel, that guy doesn't care about speed limits. I take a few steps closer to the familiar van.

Aaron opens the white van door, almost hitting me with it. "Whoa! Trying to hurt me already?" I ask and pretend to be shocked. Aaron jumps on the ground and I drop my bag on the dirt to get a hug from him. He just laughs and hugs me tightly. He laughs his familiar laughter. It feels so good to see him. "Long time no see, Naddie!" He says and I grin. 'Naddie?'. He has millions of nicknames for every person he meets. "Too long, A!" I answer, using the dumb shortening of his name I started to use five seconds ago. He chuckles. Maybe I should start to call Nick 'N' and Zak 'Z'. No fucking way.

"I'll take that, just go!" Aaron orders and nods towards my heavy bag. I cross my arms and look how he reaches his arm to grab it. "If you have enough muscles..", I mumble and grin. He lifts it up from the ground. "What the hell did you pack in here? Bricks and stones?" He says and I roll my eyes. "Pretty much, yeah." He laughs. "Planning to build a house or something?" He questions and takes my bag, heading towards the trunk. "How about those muscles now?" I ask and he hits me playfully in the arm on his way. "Shut up and get in the van", he says. "Yes, sir!" I answer and open the van door, still giggling.

I can see Zak on the back seat. He looks like a fucking model again. He has his hair done with lots of gel, and he is wearing a tight black shirt and baggy black pants. I let my eyes wander, because he hasn't noticed me yet. The reason are the grey earbuds and the muffled sound of dubstep. I crawl on the back seat and close the door behind me. I reach out my hand and take one of Zak's earbuds. He blinks a few times, obviously wondering why did it fall off. And then he notices me. "Nad", he says. I smirk. "A surprise!", I say and roll my eyes. "Very funny", he comments.

"Ready to go?" Nick asks and I hear Aaron scream a 'hell yeah!'. He closes the front door, and the van starts to move. So, eight hours with these guys in the van. I might as well get comfortable.

I see Zak taking off another one of his earbuds and I smirk. I give him my best puppy dog eyes. "What is it Nad?" he asks, wondering if he should react to my begging gaze somehow. "Nothin'", I answer and assume that it would be okay to get comfortable. I lean on his strong arm and snuggle close to him. "Oh, now I see", he says and I can hear the smile in his voice. He wraps his hand around me. "Shut up and gimme an earbud", I mutter. I can't sleep without music.

My eyes flicker open. My neck seems to hurt, so I must have really fallen asleep. I thought I would just rest my head against Zak's arm, but then he wrapped his hand so comfortingly around me and chose so beautiful songs from his phone that I fell asleep. I look at Zak, and notice that he is still asleep. His head rests against the window, his eyes are shut tightly and he has taken off the earbuds and placed them on his lap.

Actually I notice, that I too, am in a way on his lap. My face is against one of his feet and I have wrapped my arms around him. I smile. I take a look outside the window silently and notice that it has gotten dark there. I assume it must be around 11 pm, maybe even a bit more, because I don't feel sleepy at all anymore, and it's pitch black outside.

I place my head back on his lap and close my eyes. I'll let him sleep, because he deserves it. We all have a long lockdown ahead of us and he needs to rest well before that. And because we left so late today, and we'll be at the hotel probably in the morning, all the extra sleep is necessary. And especially for Nick and Aaron, who don't get to sleep as much as me and Zak because they switch turns behind the wheel. Right now Nick is still there, but he looks slightly tired and I just see him yawn quietly. I squeeze my eyes shut once again and try to fall asleep.

"Hey..", I hear Aaron whisper and then I hear a muffle laugh. Nick mumbles something sleepily. "What is it?" he whispers and then shushes when Aaron tries to speak out loud. "Those two are asleep", Nick says. Aaron breathes out a 'sorry'. "Look at them", he says quietly. I prevent a smile and press my face tighter against Zak's thigh. "Yeah..", Nick says and probably takes a look at us. "Do you think..", Aaron starts but then suddenly stops. A few seconds pass before I hear Nick ask: "Do I think what?" Aaron doesn't say anything for a minute or so. "Do you think those two are together? I mean together like that?" He asks and Nick laughs quietly. "Yeah, I do." Damn, so they know.

In that case they know more than I do, because I really don't know if we are together or if it was just some innocent kissing and cuddling. This morning Zak at least seemed to like me very much, but it's just that we have not kissed in front of those two and they already could tell that there is something going on between us. "I've noticed something for a while", Nick says and I can hear a huff from Aaron. So, they have known before me, then. Maybe it has been just from my side, because I have been staring at Zak each time I have thought that he will not notice and I wont get caught. I didn't think that Aaron would notice anything between me and Zak. Hell, I underestimated him.

"They look cute together, don't they?" Aaron asks. I open my eyes and look at them, but then I just quickly end up pressing my head against Zak. Of course they know. It's not what friends do, I mean the way I am now positioned. My head is resting on Zak's lap and earlier we shared his earbuds and I was basically a centimetre away from him, his arm wrapped around me. So maybe that means that we are together. At least I feel very comfortable around Zak and I surely love him and would like to date him. We haven't been on any dates and maybe that is what bothers me. Hell, Nadine, you kissed him last night. It would have been impossible to go out with him before the lockdown. Besides, it is not your job to worry about it.

"Yeah..", Nick whispers and Aaron chuckles. "Let's not wake them up." Sounds become muffled again as I fall back asleep.

"Hey, guys, wanna make a quick stop?" Aaron says and I open my eyes. Where am I? I stretch my arms and hit something very warm and hear a mumbled 'the fuck'. I turn my head and notice Zak, who seems to be still half asleep. Oops, I hit him. "Zak", I say and shake him roughly. "Wake up!" Nothing happens. Zak is now being Zak. Really, it would be easier to wake up a stone wall than Zak.

I notice Aaron's head, staring at me. He smirks. "Need help with that?" He says and nods towards Zak. "Yeah.. Sure..", I mutter and Aaron inhales loudly. With his fingers he counts into five and then lets out an awful scream. Sounds pretty much like a girl or something. Zak probably jumps ten centimetres from the seat and hits his head on the window. He blinks furiously and rubs his head with his hand. "What the fuck Aaron?" He shouts and sounds a bit annoyed. I burst out giggling. "What's so fucking funny?" he says and glares at me. I just keep giggling. "You", I manage to say and he rolls his eyes. "Thanks a lot", he mumbles but seems to calm down.

"Makin' a stop in a few, wanna stop Zak?" Nick asks and Zak just nods. "Now that I'm awake..", he says and stops to glare at me and Aaron. "..I guess sure", he says. I just place my hand on his shoulder and smile. "Sorry about the nice wake up", I whisper and lean closer.

"S'okay", he says gently and presses his body closer to mine. I nuzzle my head against his chest and feel his muscular hands around me. His warm breath causes me to shiver in his arms. Aaron takes a look at Nick and grins. "So..", he starts. We don't react to his words, so he clears his throat loudly and repeats it. "What?" I ask and look at Aaron. "So, you two.. How long?" he asks and I feel the chuckle Zak releases. "This is a pretty new thing", he answers.

This 'thing' we have, I am not even sure about it yet. My mind tells me that I barely know this guy, after all it has been only a bit more than a week. (Which may have been the longest week of my life), but my heart tells me to hold on to him and never let go. (which is probably what I am going to do, because I am a girl).

I unconsciously just stare at him, again. Damn, there is just something about this guy that makes me to stare at him. And I can't say for no reason, because first of all, Zak is so fucking hot. You have to be insane if you don't think that he is. He has perfect blue eyes, that express more emotion than he even realises. He has dark, spiky hair and beautiful skin (sounds weird, but it is true!) and otherwise he just looks like a sex god or something. Really. And it's not only his looks, he is a wonderful person, he has warm and maybe a bit possessive personality, which I love. He is loving and caring and..

"What'cha thinking Nad?" Zak whispers in my ear, and I smirk. "You", I answer and turn back to look at Zak. He looks amused. "What about me?" he suddenly asks. I roll my eyes. Fuck you too, Bagans. You are so doing this on purpose and I am so going to revenge one day. "Just stuff", I mutter and he smirks. I notice that Aaron is staring at us, still grinning like an idiot. Then he just mumbles: "I'll give you guys some privacy", and turns his attention back on Nick. I thank him inside my head.

I just stare at Zak's eyes, I could do it all day. He suddenly brings his lips close to mine, and stares at me, face just inches away from mine. It almost makes me scream of frustration. Really, he is a fucking tease. I know how I will pay back one day, not just yet, but he will suffer for this. I smirk and lean closer. He backs away and grins. "Impatient, huh?" he asks and I roll my eyes. "Fuck you Bagans, you are a tease!" And that is when I feel the car stop and see the lights of a gas station. Zak reaches for the door and smirks. "Wanna get something to eat?"

Once again, fuck you Zak.