Abused

I try hard to listen closely. I hear.. I can't actually even explain what I'm hearing right now. It sounds like a broken TV, or an old radio.. More like a ghost box. It somehow just sound inhuman. I assume that it's because of bad phone connections. Or.. It could be someone breathing very heavily.

"Hello?" I say, but hear no response. I can hear my own voice in the other end of the line. A faint 'hello' keeps repeating over and over. It's like the phone was alone under a bridge or something. Water could maybe create that kind of sound. This weird sound just continues for a couple of seconds. I can feel Zak's hard stare on me, but I try not to look at him. He wants to know who is there, he wants me to explain what happened to my face, who hit me.. But I am not ready let him know yet. I just look at the phone and then shrug. I hope he got the message. "Who's there?" I ask loudly. I hear a click and then I hear a sound. It's like loud footsteps. Someone is walking on grass.. Probably.. Because it sounds very.. Slippery?

"I can see you are with your loved one right now..". I freeze. My heart beats harder. It's.. This voice belongs to my dad. I would tell him to fuck off, to leave me finally alone. But I can't. I am too much frozen and scared and very much hurt. "Love is such a weird thing, isn't it? It makes us do all kinds of things.. To protect those we really care about.." He says casually. His voice is very steady, as if nothing happened a couple of hours ago. As if he never beat the shit out of me. It makes me angry. I squeeze the blanket in my hand. Zak nods towards my hand and looks concerned again. I whisper him a 'dad' and he nods and turns his gaze on the floor.

"I once had a daughter I loved more than anything in the whole world. But she was so selfish. She only cared about herself. I am sure you know what I mean.." I can feel a burning sensation in my stomach and back. Is this how he showed me his great love? "NO! That is a LIE! A filthy fucking lie!!" I scream in the phone and press my hand against my stomach. Zak leans a bit closer, his eyes concerned and questioning. His gaze is deep, dark.. I shake my head at him, telling him that it's okay. That I am used to this. Arguing with my dad.

"Say what you want, little whore. But guess what?" I just shake my head. Tears suddenly start dripping down my cheeks. They land on my shirt and on my hand that is on my lap. Zak leans even more closer, and nods towards the phone. I press a button, and suddenly he is able to hear my dad's words as well.
"Listen carefully, you slave. I can see you. I know you are there with that man of yours." Zak raises both of his eyebrows and places his hand on my shoulder. He opens his mouth, as if to say something but I shake my head, telling him to be quiet. This is something I have to take care of myself.

"If you wont get rid of him and fast, I'll kill you. Understood? Nod if you get it" He says and I can only imagine the sick smirk on his face. This is the first time he has ever said such a thing. That he would actually kill me, if I didn't get rid of a man that I wasn't even seeing like that. Zak's my boss and friend. That is when I can see Zak's 'that's it' - face. And it's not his friendliest face, believe me.

Seconds become longer and time stops as the phone falls from my hand on the floor with a loud bang. My hands come to cover my face and I burst out crying. All voices fade away, and for a moment there is only me and the pain. Pain everywhere around me. In my hands, stomach, back.. But the worst pain is inside me. It feels like my head was going to explode into a thousand small pieces. This is the end, it has to be. I can't take this anymore. I can see myself nod, and then I register Zak's hands on my shoulders. I hear the phone, still. My dad is probably laughing his ass off right now. I can see Zak kick the phone somewhere. It hits the wall and quiets down. I let out a relieved sigh.

I mumble out a small and quiet "why?", and I can feel Zak's chest near my face. I grab a fistful of his shirt and sob. He covers me with his hands, and tells me again, that everything is going to be alright. I can hear him whisper: "I will never let anyone harm you again" and it makes me feel safe. He makes me feel safe. I just nod in his shirt and try to calm down and catch my breath. His scent and steady breathing help me to calm down.

My dad can't harm me when Zak is here. He won't come here. Zak is two times as big as he, and much stronger than him. He would protect me against my dad. But, what if he hurts Zak when I am not there? He.. He has to know how much Zak means to me. He.. I couldn't live if my dad hurt him.

The darkness around the house bothers me, because I know that my dad is there, somewhere, covered in the darkness. Hiding in the shadows.. I feel Zak's hand on my shoulder- He slides it down my back. I tilt my head and look at him in the eyes. "Please.. Please don't go.." I manage to mumble. Those beautiful concerned blue eyes look at me, then he just breathes out: "I wont".

"Do you want me to stay the night?" he asks and I just nod. "Please.." He lightly touches the bruise surrounding my left eye, and for a moment he looks slightly angry. "I promise I'll never let anyone hurt you again.. Ever.." He says strongly. I nod and blink furiously, trying to prevent anymore tears.

He touches my hair gently and I painfully shut my eyes. "So.. Now you know.." I feel his chest fall and rise fast and I assume that he simply nods. "Yeah.. I do."

After an hour or so I managed to get up from the couch. Zak was pretty concerned for the whole damn time and I blamed myself for being so girl. Usually I won't cry. Like, ever. But for some odd reason I have cried a lot lately, especially around Zak. I have also spent quite a lot time with him and I have learned to trust him. It's not that I wouldn't trust Aaron, or Nick.. I do, I really do. But with Zak, it's just.. It's different.

Nick is like a father, in a way, because he always complains if I go outside without a jacket or if I don't drink or eat.. Aaron.. Well, he is like a brother to me. I won't say that he is like a big brother, sometimes he is more like a ten-year-old little brother. But he looks after me, too. He is loving and caring. Like a giant teddy bear, or something.

But then there is Zak. Zak is not like a brother, and definitely not like a father. I can't even imagine that. He is more like a boyfriend, but we are not together like that. Or, maybe he is more like a personal body guard. He looks after me, takes care of me.. Tells me that he will never let anyone harm me again. A guardian angel. Yeah, that he is. And my boss.

I close the bathroom door quickly behind me. I assume it's like ten pm, not very late yet. I reach for my phone in my pocket, but then I remember that it's broken. Zak kicked it on the wall. I grin. I will need to change my phone number anyway. And I am so glad that Zak came here today, I don't know what would've happened without him. For some reason it feels like this day has been very very long. Rough it has been, at least. I never knew that my dad was stalking me like that. . And, I sure missed our newest episode on TV.

I take a look at the mirror and great, I look horrible. My eyes are red because of crying. My cheeks look like fresh tomatoes and otherwise everything else is a mess. My hair is a mess, my make up is a mess. I just decide to wash my face with cold water. It feels wonderful, the touch of coldness against my burning skin. It calms me down a little. I make sure to wash away all of the mascara on my cheeks.

I take a deep breath and then I decide to walk out WITHOUT any make up. Usually I always have make up, when I have someone else in my home. This time I really am just too tired to care. Even though Zak is there. At least I hope he is there. Stop it Nadine, of course he is. He is not that type of guy, who leaves a sad girl all alone at home, waiting for her crazy dad to come and kill her. Nope.

I place my hand on the door handle and open it slowly and step in the hallway leading to the kitchen. I walk there and find Zak sitting on one of the chairs near my table. He hears me arrive and tilts his head and looks at me. He still looks slightly concerned, but he smiles a bit when he sees that I no longer look like I had just cried my eyes off. "Feel better?" he asks. I flash him a small smile. "Yeah, a bit.." I step closer, pull a chair from under the table and sit on it. I just focus on staring outside the window. It's getting dark there. In my mind, I can see a picture of my dad, hiding somewhere in the darkness, staring at us and planning my funeral. I feel like sticking my tongue at the darkness, but that would look weird. But at least, Zak is not going anywhere and my dad has no other options but to stay outside and be mad at me.

I can feel his gaze on me, but I don't bother to turn mine on him. I am trying not to make this awkward for him. Damn. It must have been quite awkward, to comfort a girl who is crying because her dad said something bad. 'That man of yours'.. I can't get my dad's words out of my head. That must have been quite awkward for Zak. I find myself wondering if he has ever thought about.. about me.. I mean about us that way. I sure have, even though each time I have ended up listing reasons why I should NOT be with Zak like that. He is my boss, we work together, he is a good friend of mine, I trust in him, I don't want to fight with him..

His blue eyes look so friendly, caring. He has a heart that is made of gold. Really. Zak cares about his friends like his family, and when he said that he will never let anyone hurt me again, as impossible as it sounds, I believe it. Damn Nadine, you are staring at him again, aren't you?

I allow myself to look at him, because he is looking at me. But I am sure he is only making sure that I am okay, and won't start crying again like I did before. And I am staring at him, because hell, how could I NOT to when he is just perfect?

Suddenly, he smiles brightly. "What?" I ask and he widens his grin. "Zak.. What is it?" I poke him in the shoulder. "Nothing." He says. I poke him again. "It sure is something, or since when have you had a grin like that on your face for no reason?" He shakes his head and before I know it, I am grinning too. For absolutely no reason. "Really. Tell. Me. Now." He rolls his eyes and stares at my face. "Do you really need to know?" I give him my best glare and he just smirks. "You asked for it!" He laughs and suddenly presses his lips against mine.

I blink a few times in confusion. His lips just barely touch mine, hesitatingly, but they feel so soft. I feel his warm breath on my face, and he just looks at the expression in my eyes. Too soon he backs off a tiny bit a breathes out a 'sorry'.

I burst out giggling. I try to muffle my giggles, but it only causes me to laugh uncontrollably. "What?" he asks and stares at me under his lashes. "Zak Bagans! From all times of the world, you choose to kiss me.. now?" I ask and he just smirks. He opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't have enough time, because I lean close to him, place my hand on his neck and kiss him passionately.

And completely forget the list of reasons why we shouldn't be together. Screw that.