What If We Don't See Each Other Again?

Nosturi, Helsinki, Finland. 11.8.2013

‘It’s so hot.’ Amanda whined. ‘Don’t even start; you have shorts and top when I’m wearing jeans and t-shirt.’ I blew smoke out. ‘Nobody made you wear those.’ She sighed. ‘I can’t believe there is already a line clock is like twelve.’ Sam smiled. We were going to go and hand out pizza to the early birds.

‘Hey, is anyone hungry?’ Ben sang, carrying a pizza box, just like everyone else in the band. The first ten fans waiting smiled and started to nod. ‘If someone is vegetarian, raise your hand.’ I yelled getting just one hand up. A tall girl with snakebites, pastel pink, long hair that was on fishbone braid. She was wearing black high waist shorts and a baggy cropped star wars shirt. ‘Hello, I’m Dalia Bruce, little sister of Ben and I’m supposed to feed you oh and I love your hair.’ I laughed and the girl smiled. ‘Hi, I’m Ariel.’ The girl introduced herself. We sat on the ground and I opened the pizza box. The girl just stared at the pizza. ‘Eat silly.’ I smiled but she shook her head. ‘I’m not hungry.’ She lied. I sighed and placed the box in front of her crossed legs. ‘So, Ariel. That’s a beautiful name.’ I light a cigarette. ‘Yeah, I know.’ Ariel rolled her eyes, which were exactly the same color as Oliver’s. I mentally slapped myself from thinking about him. ‘Which band did you come to see?’ I watched as she light a cigarette. ‘All of them, I’m a huge fan of Horizon though.’ She smiled and blew smoke out. I watched as Ben and Danny talked to two girls as they ate. James was offering pizza to a three guys and Cameron was with Sam, feeding four girls. Amanda had probably stayed at the backstage, cooling off while we were nice enough to spend time with these idiots who decided to come too early to get close to the stage.

‘What are you thinking?’ Ariel calmly asked and brought me back from my thoughts. I shrugged. ‘Everything.’ She stared into the distance. ‘I saw a video in YouTube from the Mice’s performance in Germany.’ She threw the cigarette away and took a slice of pizza, still not eating it. ‘I also saw the video from Horizon’s.’ She sighed and took a tiny bite. ‘Where are you going with this?’ I was confused. ‘I’m not dumb, Oliver was talking about you and Austin was holding you against him while he sang. So I just wondered if you wanted to talk about that with someone who doesn’t have sides.’ She took another bite. Ariel was pretty good in English, even with the few mistakes I understood her perfectly. ‘I don’t know. Are you going to publish anything I say?’ I smirked and she shook her head.

So I told her everything, even the Jordan-Oliver thing. She didn’t seem shocked or judging. ‘Okay, so you are in love with two boys.’ She finally said. I shook my head. ‘I can’t be, I can’t love Oliver after what he did.’ I tried to deny it, but I knew I did love Oliver. ‘Don’t lie; if you truly loved him when you two were together, you never stop loving him.’ Ariel smiled sweetly, but the look in her eyes told about her broken heart. ‘How old are you?’ I stared at her. ‘Just turned eighteen. Why?’ I snatched the cigarette from her mouth. ‘First of all, you are too smart to smoke and secondly you said the smartest thing about love that anyone else is ever said to me.’ I laughed and so did she. I handed her the cigarette back. ’Go for Austin, he seems to try more, about making you happy I mean.’ She suddenly stated. She was right.

‘I’m going to go offer this to someone else.’ I lifted the pizza box from the ground. She had only eaten one piece. ‘Sure, it was nice to meet you Dalia.’ Ariel smiled. The new comers took the rest of the pizza. I didn’t feel like staying and chatting with them, so as soon as I got rid of the box, I went back to the back stage. All the guys were already gathered around the fan, trying to cool off. I laughed at the sight of fifteen guys without shirts arguing about whose turn was to go and get beer from the fridge.

Amanda was lying on the couch, beer can on her forehead. ‘So I guess we are spending the day here?’ I asked and started to hand beer cans to the lads. ‘It’s too hot to move.’ Alan whined. ‘But tomorrow it’s lot cooler and it’s our day off, so we are going to do something more productive.’ Phil said, making most of the lads laugh. I stepped into the circle around the fan and sat on Austin’s lap. He groaned. ‘It’s too hot.’ He tried to push me away but I didn’t move anywhere except to move my lips closer to his ear. ‘I met a fan that gave me the best advice in the world.’ I whispered. Austin gave me a confused look, making me giggle. ‘I want you.’ I whispered every word slowly as possible putting effort on the seductive tone and kissed his neck, over the geisha tattoo, which I last time learned was his sweet spot.

Austin froze and gulped really loudly. ‘Didn’t I say its ten inch between?’ Ben couched. Alan started to laugh as I blushed and got up from Austin’s lap. I felt eyes follow my every move. I really hoped it would be Austin and when I checked, Austin’s eyes were closed and his head was tilted back. I went through everyone until I caught Oliver’s stare. I flipped him of and jumped on Amanda. ‘Get off of me you fat cunt.’ She yelled and pushed me down from the couch. I couldn’t help but to laugh.

‘Hey Dalia, I saw you talking with a girl earlier.’ Alan muttered. I nodded. ‘What’s her name?’ He asked and I started to laugh. ‘Her name is Ariel, she just turned eighteen.’ I said, still laughing. ‘If you are going to try something on her, go now before she disappears.’ I joked, but Alan took it seriously and ran out of the building. What a knobhead. ‘Where did Alan go?’ Austin asked and pulled me against his chest. ‘Hit on a girl. She’s propa fit and we share the same hairstyle.’ I smiled. She was nice, I hope Alan gets lucky and I don’t mean like shagging lucky.

Still in the back stage. 17.00

Alan walked in with Ariel. They were talking and laughing. They were exactly the same height which made Ariel the same height as I. Alan introduced Ariel to everyone. Her full name was Ariel Emilia Ellis; her father was British, which explained a lot.

Helsinki, Finland, hotel 12.8.2013

I woke up with someone’s arms around my naked body. I had a horrible déjà vu feeling. I started to panic and checked myself. ‘Fuck.’ I muttered. ‘Shh, I’m sleeping.’ Austin whispered. I was naked in bed with Austin.

‘Look at those two.’ I sighed happily, staring at Alan and Ariel. I was so happy that my best friend found someone who is as mental about cats as he is. ‘They are cute.’ Austin laughed and pulled me closer to him. We ordered more drinks. ‘Hey, here is your beer.’ The waitress talked to Austin and put the two cans of beer on the table, pushing her breasts in his face. ‘Yeah thank you.’ Austin tried to move away from her. ‘I was just wondering if you wanted to ditch you –she stared at me- sister? And come to my place after my shift is over.’ She said with the worst English I had ever heard. Austin laughed. ‘She isn’t my sister, she’s –Austin looked straight into my eyes and smiled-my girlfriend?’ I nodded and kissed him, hungrily while the waitress stared at us. ‘Please, park those rubber balls someone else’s face than my boyfriend’s.’ I said to the girl, who angrily stormed away, not even waiting for us to pay for our drinks. ‘Guess it’s on her.’ I laughed and kissed Austin again.

Austin told Lee to tell everyone that we were heading back to the hotel before we left. I remember making out in the back seat of the taxi, then in the hotel lobby and lift. Against the wall on the hallway then in Austin’s room, against the front door, bathroom door and finally on the bed after that everything was just a blur.

‘No you are not sleeping, Alan is sleeping.’ I referred to the loud snores coming from the bed next to ours. ‘I don’t know how Ariel can sleep next to him when he makes those awful noises.’ Austin yawned and kissed my forehead. ‘Good morning, girlfriend.’ Austin sang. ‘Nope.’ I giggled and Austin’s happy face fell. ‘Oh my god, I meant it’s not morning it’s afternoon already.’ I panicked. Austin sighed from relief.

‘C’mon lazy fucks, it’s our off day and you are not sleeping through it.’ I jumped on Ariel and Alan. They both groaned at the same time and pulled the duvet over their heads. ‘Meant to be.’ Austin laughed and pulled the duvet off. ‘Oh my eyes.’ I screamed and tried to cover them. They were naked, Ariel lying on top of Alan. Ariel flew from the bed and tried to cover herself unlike Alan who just stretched his body and got up from the bed, getting confused looks from his bird. ‘Alan, please.’ I kept screaming. Austin just laughed and slapped Alan’s ass. ‘Here’s some Austlan Cashby for the ladies.’ Alan sang and disappeared into the bathroom. ‘My boyfriend is a total creep.’ I said in sync with Ariel. ‘You two?’ I asked, she nodded and asked the same, getting the same answer.

Austin lent me his shirt and sweats, so I wouldn’t have to run naked on the hallway while I went to wake my brother and then go to my room which I shared with Amanda. ‘I’m going to wake Brusnop up.’ I laughed. ‘I never thought you would ship your brother and his best friend.’ Alan yelled from the bathroom. ‘I never thought you would ship yourself and my boyfriend.’ I yelled back just getting ‘touché.’ as reply.

I closed the door and walked to Ben’s. I knocked on it. ‘Ben get the door.’ Danny groaned. ‘Get the door by yourself you lazy twat.’ I heard them argue. That went on few minutes. ‘Fine.’ Danny groaned loudly and opened the door. ‘Fuck you Ben, it’s YOUR sister.’ He yelled. I walked past the half-naked singer. ‘Good morning Brusnop.’ I laughed and jumped on Ben’s empty bed. ‘Are you seriously shipping us?’ Ben muttered, looking like he was ready to kill everyone.

‘Aww, did someone get too wanked last night.’ I teased my brother, who had just walked into the bathroom. ‘Yes I did, can you hand me a water bottle.’ Danny answered, holding two painkillers in his hand. ‘Why are you so happy?’ Danny asked, swallowing the pills with the water I just gave him. ‘I have a boyfriend, and I guess I shagged him last night.’ Danny spat the water from his mouth on me. ‘Gee, thanks Daniel.’ I whipped my face. ‘Did you hear that Ben, you sister got some and you didn’t.’ Danny laughed and Ben stormed out of the bathroom, with the same killer look on his face. ‘Who, how old is he, what’s his social number, did you use protection.’ He asked, and he wasn’t even joking. ‘Austin Robert Carlile, twenty-fife, I don’t know and yes.’ I laughed.