I'll Be Your Safety

It’s been almost a year and a half since Ethan was born. When Ethan was a few months old, much to Niall’s protest, I got a job. Within a few months I had collected enough funds to rent a small apartment for the two of us not too far away from Niall’s house. Niall came over almost every single day, and Ethan spent weekend nights with his father. To Niall’s knowledge I was working one job as a secretary at a radio station nearby, when actually I was working three. That single job was just enough to pay the bills, let alone put food on the table for Ethan and I. I knew if I told Niall this classified information he would insist to help me out, or for me to stop overworking myself. You see, the thing is I didn’t want anyone helping me. I knew that taking care of the two of us was something I had to do alone, with a few financial breaks when it comes to Ethan. The apartment was tiny, with two small bedrooms and a medium sized living room/kitchen area that was just enough for the two of us to live.

I was collapsed onto the living room couch, watching Ethan crawl around the floor, picking up toys as he went along.

“Mama?” He gurgled, looking up at me and waving his toy around.

“Yes Ethan?” I replied with a smile on my mouth.

“Mama!” He looked over at the door. Confused, I glanced over at it then back to Ethan.

“What are y-“ I was interrupted by a couple knocks on the door.

“Da! Da!” He cheered, waving his arms around wildly. I walked towards the door, shooting Ethan a smile before revealing Niall. He had grown out his dark locks more, and his blue eyes twinkled mischievously. He looked extremely attractive.

Even though I knew that Niall and I would never be together, there was a part of me that longed for him to look my way. Just imagining him holding me, just embracing me for a few seconds made my heart swell.

“Hey Liv.” Niall smiled.

“Hey, he’s right in there.” I stepped out of the way, making room for Niall.

“Ethan!” He cried, earning quite a few giggles from the much younger boy.

“Da!” He cried as Niall scooped him up, and rested him on his hip. Niall tickled him, causing Ethan to erupt into giggles.

“Hey Liv, do you wanna go down and get some ice cream? I noticed a shop a block away.”

“Sure.” I smiled, picking my keys up off the counter and locking up the apartment after us. I followed the duo down the stairs and out into the warm, morning air. It was a Monday, which meant I had the day off. My night was still busy, though.

“I think I saw it down this way.” Niall said, slowing down and letting me catch up.

“Hey sexy!” A random guy called out. I cast my eyes to the floor as another one cat called. I felt Niall’s arm wrap around my side and bring me close protectively. It was when we were safe in the ice cream parlor when Niall spoke up. “Liv, I don’t like you living down here. Did you see all those creepy guys? Its just not safe.”

“Ni, its fine. They’ve never done anything to me. Plus, this is the only apartment I can afford that has two bedrooms.”

“But-“

“No buts. Trust me, Niall I’ll be fine.” I gave him a reassuring smile, then walked up to the counter. “I’ll have one chocolate, in a cone.” I told the teenage girl working the cash.

“Ethan, love do you want chocolate?” I asked the young boy, who shook his head and smiled. “And a kiddy-sized Chocolate. In a cup.” I added.

“I’ll have the same as her.” Niall motioned to me, reaching into his back pocket.

“Hey, hey what are you doing, its fine Niall.” I stopped him, placing my hand on his arm.

“No, trust me. I got it.” He handed the cashier a twenty. I shot him thank you, moving out of the way so the people in line behind us could take our place.

“Ni, you didn’t have to.” I frowned, picking up our ice cream.

“No, but I wanted to.” He stated, taking a seat in a small booth near the window. I sighed, watching him hand Ethan the spoon and allow him to dig into the ice cream himself, getting it all over his tiny hands.

“So, you seeing anyone right now?” I asked, my eyes roaming from Ethan to Niall.

“Well, actually there's this one girl…” He trailed off, noticing Ethan wipe his chocolaty hands all over his navy blue shirt.

“Oh no. Ethan.” I held out my arms for Niall to hand him to me. I accepted him, and then placed him on my knee to clean up his messy fingers with a napkin. “Here, let’s go back to the apartment so we can get the two of you cleaned up.” I said, gesturing to Niall’s messy shirt. I stood up, Ethan in one hand and ice cream in the other, and then followed Niall out of the small parlor. We walked down the seat silently, and I instinctively shifted towards Niall when we passed by the group of guys. I clutched Ethan closer as I felt their gaze on me, staring me down.

“Can you hold him? I’ve just got to get my keys.” I handed Ethan to Niall as I pulled my keys out of my pocket, and then unlocked the apartment door. The small TV was still running quietly as we walked in, and kicked off our shoes.

“I’ll go wash him off.” Niall said, setting Ethan down on the kitchen counter. He ran a washcloth under warm water to dampen it, then wiped down Ethan’s tiny fists and face. He giggled, repeating ‘da’ and reaching towards Niall. I quietly watched the scene from afar, watching the look-alike father-son duo interact. Apart from their eyes, the two males looked eerily similar. Ethan’s hair was just starting to darken, matching his deep, chocolate colored eyes. His hair well suited his warm, olive toned complexion, which was very similar to mine.

“All done.” Niall announced, placing Ethan on the floor to go scamper towards his toys.

“Here, give me your shirt and I’ll wash it.” I held out my hand as Niall pulled off his shirt. I earned a brief moment when his face was obscured by his shirt to eye his well-defined torso, and then quickly flicked my gaze back up to his face. He handed me his shirt, and I walked into the washroom with it, opening a cupboard to reveal the washing machine. I opened the top, placing the shirt in before dispensing some tide in with it. After turning on the wash my eyes quickly flicked up towards the clock, noting I had an hour before my shift at the restaurant.

“So, Niall, you never finished telling me about this girl.” I leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom, smiling slightly.

“Oh, well There's this girl, Sarah. We’ve been on quite a few dates now.” He smiled happily, turning around to face me. I walked over, taking a seat on the floor beside him.

“What does she look like? Is she nice?”

“She’s pretty; has blonde hair and blue eyes. She’s also really nice, I’ve told her ‘bout Ethan and stuff, and she really wants to meet him.” His blue eyes lit up, looking at me hopefully.

“Of course. Ni, you know he can stay over at your place whenever you want, right?”

“Yeah. Would you mind if I had him tomorrow? He could sleepover at my place?” He asked.

“Of course. Come pick him up whenever you want. Trust me, I enjoy having some extra breaks from this little rascal every once in a while.” I smiled at Niall, who was standing up.

“Have you got any other shirts I can borrow? I prefer not driving home shirtless.” He laughed.

“Sure, let me just check.” I padded over to my room and pulled out a sweater with a glittery bunny on the front. “Perfect.” I giggled to myself, then sashayed out of the room.

“Oh Ni-all I found the perfect shirt for you.” I smirked, holding up the bedazzled jumper.

“Oh hell no.” He held his hands up in defense. “Please no.”

“Or, you know, you can stay shirtless.” I taunted.

“No way in hell an I walking into a meeting decked out in that. My boys would never respect me after this.” He cringed, referring to the boy band he was managing. After not working for almost a year, he decided to go back into the music industry. After all, Harry had. He was going back into singing, this time solo.

“Fine.” He said reluctantly, holding out his hand. I placed the sweater in it, closing his fingers around the scratchy wool. He grimaced, then slipped it on quickly, turning around to admire himself in the full-length mirror.

“Damn, really accentuates my curves.” He remarked, stuffing his feet into a pair of shoes. “I’ll call you later. Bye Ethan!” He cooed, waving goodbye.

“Da!” He watched his father stand by the door.

“Can you wave goodbye baby?” I showed the younger boy, who imitated me.

“Bye da.” Ethan smiled happily, waving.

“Bye love.” Niall closed the door behind him softly. I picked up Ethan and stood up, walking over to his high chair.

“Are you hungry, hon? You want some food?” I locked the highchair, and pulled some vegetables and leftover rice out of the fridge. I arranged a small meal of cherry tomatoes, rice and chicken for Ethan, and placed it on his highchair. I then did the same for me, and watched him happily pick around at his plate. I sat down at the counter beside him, and quickly ate, intent on getting ready for my shift. I knew Anna would be here in a few minutes, which meant I should be dressed in my uniform and out the door in fifteen. I kissed Ethan’s head and dashed off to my room, where I flung on my uniform. For my shift I had to wear a short, white dress with red piping at the hem of the skirt and the sleeves. It had a low, rounded neckline, and was done up with little red buttons running from the top of the skirt to the neckline. Just as I emerged from my room Anna knocked on the door. “Come in!” I called, kneeling down in front of Ethan and helping him eat.

“Hello, Liv.” Anna grinned. She lived across the hall with her father and his girlfriend, who were both quite lovely people. Anna had her father’s kinky red hair, except she had grown hers out considerably more, and it was much fuller. She was quite pale, and was slightly shorter than me, standing at around 5’6. Ethan loved her, and ever since I moved into the building she’s been my go-to babysitter. Even though she was only fifteen, she knew how to take care of children very well, since she practically raised her young sister, Lizzy.

“Thanks so much Anna. I’ll be home normal time tonight. If Niall calls, tell him I’m at a friends house.”

“Liv, I still don’t understand why you don’t tell him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why you keep your jobs a secret from him. From what I heard from you he’s a very understanding guy, and would be quite forgiving.”

“I know, but he would insist on helping me out financially, and I don’t want to be dependent on him again. It makes me feel so… useless.” I sighed, slinging my purse over my shoulder.

“I understand. I just think he should know the truth.” She said, kneeling down beside Ethan.

“Well, I’ve got to run. Thanks a bunch, Anna!” I waved, and clicked the door closed behind me. I whipped out my phone as I flew down the stairs, patting my bag to check if I brought my keys. At the bottom of the stairwell I pushed the heavy doors open, being greeted with a warm breeze that ruffled my hair. I inhaled deeply, turning left and walking towards work. Tonight was my shift at Terroni, a fancy Italian restaurant not too far away. They were trying to be ‘cool’ and ‘new’ opening this expensive restaurant in the middle of a sketchy area. It worked out for me, though. They paid decently and it was nearby. I sighed, hoping something would look up for me soon. I really needed a break. The nights in that apartment were lonely. It wasn’t that I had no friends in LA; Niall has since introduced me to plenty of friendly people, and I made some of my own along the way. But I longed to find someone. I knew, it was partially my fault, since I had been out on very few dates in the past years. But I still couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting someone there for me.