Roadie

Our hands were interlocked as I led him swiftly through the bus. He followed silently in tow, watching his feet as he walked. The door was closed behind us to keep the others out. Mike had been drinking heavily all morning, apparently he doesn't take this sort of thing very well and replaces feelings with alcohol. As for Tony and Jaime, they were doing just fine, or so I thought. I carefully led Vic over to my bed, which had replaced the couch that once rested there. We sat side by side, our hands still interlocked, in perfect silence. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was peaceful.

“You need rest. You've had a long day, lay with me.” I kept my voice quiet, I still had a pounding head ache and I was sure Vic felt the same.

He just nodded in response. I laid back and opened my arms for him. He hesitated for a moment, but laid with me anyways. His head rested on my chest, his arm draped over my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair until his breath became shallow. I smiled, knowing he had finally fallen asleep. He would finally get the rest he needed, I knew he was exhausted. Everything that had happened suddenly weighed down on me. I had caused this, this pain that he was feeling. I had done this to him, made him feel the way he felt. All because I decided to drink in celebration of my acceptance. I thought of everything I could have done differently, others ways I could have celebrated. My eyes began to water with regret and then I thought of the way Vic looked when I walked into his room at the hospital. That blank stare in his eyes, his once gorgeous eyes that held so much light and happiness. That light had vanished. His eyes had looked so sad, so empty. Tears welled in my eyes, they threatened to fall. I tried to blink them away, but it was too late. Salty tears cascaded down my cheeks and as much as I willed them to stop, they wouldn't. So I let them fall. I let every emotion out because there was nothing else I could do. I looked down at the sleeping boy in my arms, he looked so peaceful in that moment. So perfect. I smiled weakly and rubbed little circles on the small of his back. My tears had ceased and my eye lids grew heavy. I rested my head back on the pillows and drifted off.

⚓ ⚓ ⚓ ⚓ ⚓

“Sutton. Sutton wake up.” A voice stirred me from my sleep. I blinked a few times and lifted my head, turning to see Mike standing in the door way looking much more sober than he had before.

Vic was still asleep on my chest, snoring lightly, his fingers clutched onto my shirt so tight his knuckles had turned white.

“How is he?” Mike asked, shifting his weight, his hands shaking a little, “I mean, is he like...”

I sighed, “Mike, he's okay. He's just sleeping. I can feel him breathing.”

Mike didn't look like he believed me. I could tell it was the typical little brother and big brother bond causing him to worry so much. Mike just nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Vic stirred in my arms and looked up to me. His tired eyes blinked a few times, adjusting to the light, and then he smiled. It was a soft smile, but it seemed so sweet.

“Good morning, sleepy head.” I joked, pushing his hair from his eyes.

He smiled again and glanced around the room, “It doesn't look like morning to me. What time is it?”

He sat up, giving me space to find my phone. When I saw the time, I didn't want to tell him. It was just hours before the show was supposed to start and I didn't know if he was going to be ready for it. Since we had both been asleep, I didn't know if the others had discussed a plan or not. I turned the phone and his eyes lit up in shock.

“We have to go! We have to get ready, the show is tonight. Your show.” He jumped up and started to pace back and forth by the door.

“I don't think there is a show.”

He turned to me, his jaw had dropped in surprise. He was shaking his head violently, repeating 'no' over and over again. The door was slammed open and he was gone in an instant.

“Vic!” I shouted, hoping to stop him, but I failed.

I stormed after him, shouting his name several times. He was in the front lounge shouting to the others about how there wasn't a show. He couldn't believe what he had heard. He didn't want to take my moment away from me, my night. I knew that the show could wait, we could do it any other night of tour. It didn't have to be now, there would always be a later.

“Vic, you were just checked into the hospital. Your sick. The performance can wait until another night.” Tony said

“No it can't. It's happening tonight, do you hear me? Tonight and no other night.” Vic shouted before running off the bus, the door slamming behind him.

I and the others just stood there, looking at one another in awkward silence. Vic had never had a blow up like that before. I had never heard him shout in that way and to be honest, it was kind of scary. There was nothing else we could do other than to get ready for the show. After all, what Vic says goes these days. I giggled and shrugged my shoulders in defeat. Vic was right, the show must go on.

“You heard him. Get your asses to work!” I said and ran off the bus to start setting up.