The Time We Spent Is Now Gone

Lee was sitting on the couch as I stood in the kitchen, biting my fingernails nervously. C’mon you slut, you can do this. I thought and took slow steps towards the door out of the kitchen. I watched as Lee sat on the corner of the couch, watching some lame show from telly.
‘Lee, I need to talk to you.’ I felt how the words almost stuck on my throat, making me want to puke. Lee nodded and gave me a look that made my heart stop. His eyes glowed from disappointment and love, which was propa uncommon combination.

I dragged my feet over the couch and sat next to my boyfriend, trying to make sure my dress didn’t rise too high. ‘Lee, there might me a slight-‘ I was cut off by him as he put his hand on my thigh.
‘The kids are Oliver’s. I know the doctor called.’ He smiled, he fucking smiled. I was paralyzed and he just fucking smiled.

‘Lee, I’m sorry.’ I cried. I felt his arms sneak around my body, pulling me against his chest. I was shocked how he took this so well, I mean I cheated him with my best friend, how can he be so calm.
‘Don’t be sorry okay? You told me and I trust you, I don’t care if they both are his Emilie. I have never said this, but I love you and I’m not going to leave you because you were high and drunken shagging Oliver and I’m sorry, I read that journal of yours.’ He rubbed circles on my back. Lee Malia was the weirdest man I had ever met.

‘So you are not going to leave me?’ I sobbed into his shirt.
‘No, I’m not, didn’t you hear what I said just seconds ago.’ His voice was calm and soft. I really didn’t understand why he didn’t hate me.
‘Yeah, you son of a bitch read my secret journal.’ I moved so I could face him and punched his chest, making us both laugh. ‘And, I love you too, I really do.’ I carefully pressed my lips to his, afraid that he would push me away, but he didn’t. He kissed me back.



‘Oliver, I told Lee.’ I spat out while we were doing last minute checks on the new collection arrival on the Bricklane. I peeked over my shoulder to see Oliver’s reaction and just like I thought, he had frozen, terror shining from his brown eyes. I sighed and kept going through the order list and everything seemed to be fine. The shop should be opened in May first, and lads were flying back to Sweden in month to do the LIGHTS collaboration and final touches on the upcoming record, which probably meant they were going back to Sweden to do the whole album now and last time they just got wanked and partied the whole time. Oliver was going to flew to London to be at the opening and the go back on the next day.

My babies were going to ruin my vagina in two months, twins, both Oliver’s and I was bit scared how would my boys turn out while being influenced by the Sykes boys genes.
‘Bloody hell Oliver, you’ve been sitting there, all frozen for five minutes, Lee knew, he isn’t mad or anything you knob head.’ I sighed and threw a paper ball at him. ‘Oh and I’m telling momma tonight.’ I rolled my eyes, getting back to work.

‘What’s wrong with Oli?’ Lee walked into the office and gave me a kiss.
‘I told him you know and he hadn’t moved in ten minutes now, I think his afraid of telling his mum.’ I looked at Oliver. ‘Oli, you have to tell to Amanda.’ I sighed getting up from my chair. I gave Lee a sad look and walked over Oliver. I took his head into my hands and pecked his lips. ‘You are my best friend and I really hope you and Amanda are okay after she heard about Alexander’s and Benjamin’s real father.’ I couldn’t help but to smile when I said the names I had decided to give to my twins.
‘Alexander and Benjamin?’ Both Oliver and Lee asked. I smiled widely to the two men.

‘Alexander Daniel Sykes and Benjamin Scott Sykes.’ I corrected.



‘What did I told you. These pictures are perfect.’ Tom sang with a stupid grin on his face. He was showing two photos of me, sitting in the snow wearing white dress and lilies around my head like a headband. I was holding my tummy and smiling, curling my red lips into a sweetest smile I knew. Tom had given up on the request on dressing me in Drop Dead because well any of the clothes didn’t look good with this gigantic stomach.

‘Whatever.’ I crossed my hands over my chest. Lee was driving us to the Sykes with Tom and Oliver sitting in the back. My dad had texted me telling he was already over.
‘It’s going to be okay, Carol loves me.’ I smiled to Oliver who looked nervous enough to jump out of the car window for escape, which was highly possible. I was really worried about Oliver. His eyes didn’t have the spark anymore which once shined brightly. Now there was just pain and sorrow even if he tried to hide it. Matt has said something about Oliver doing drug but I didn’t think Oliver could. To me, Oliver was still the same kid that climbed on the roof of our school with me almost every day, not giving a shit about the others when he was there with me. But I had to admit, he had changed and not just few months ago, over year ago.

‘It’s not that Em’s its Amanda, she’s coming too.’ He whispered and stared at the snowy streets. I reached over to him from the shotgun, but my stupid stomach didn’t let me reach Oliver’s hand. Oliver noticed what I was trying and gave his hand to me laughing.
‘My boy’s already know how to tease mommy.’ He halfheartedly smiled and squeezed my hand.