My Dad, My World.

I poured dad a glass of milk. I added chocolate and watchedthe concoction come together the more i swirled my spoon. Dad had cried...he just let everything spill and seep into my shirt. It was odd to watch him do this and i couldnt help but reverse the scene in my head and put me snuggled deep in the depths of his arms, but comfort and pure worry poured out of me and over wrote any sence of weirdness i had felt.
It was getting late now, the clock to my left read 11:30. But dad still sat, hugging himself, his eyes a violent red, and slightly rocked himself in the couches softness. I felt really bad. All i wanted to do was hide in his lap and make sure he was safe. Unfortunately billy txted me and reminded me that in just a short 2 weeks, they would be heading to some ungodly haunted mansion out in BFE wyoming.
For some reason i wasnt able to shake the thought that maybe i should go with them, keep an eye on him so that the others could fos on their work. I couldnt leave him now. I was pretty much set on never being left behind again. I hadnt told anyone yet but i wasnt about to stay here another 2 weeks with aunt jessica and the baby. I love them bot but geez....
I could already hear dad in my head really not being ok with this. In fear that it would happen to me. But im not about to lose my dad because of something i couldnt see. Like my dad, i was strung and i wasnt about to give up, it was not going to beat me.
Carefully i carried the glass to the couch and handed it to my dad and sat in front of him on the coffee table. I wasnt going to lie tho, even though i was 100% sure i wasnt going to let it beat me, i was also 100% sure that it scared the hell out of me. It still lingered in his eyes, still seeped through his pours and filled the atmosphere in the house with uneasiness.
I just want my dad back....
"How do u feel daddy, u need anything else?" I asked slowly. I didnt want to startle him because he didnt seem to see me coming. Again i invisioned the footage of him pressed painfully up against the wall begging for it too stop.
"I think u should go to your room taylor. I love u, thank u for helping me but i dont want to hurt you...so just please go to ur room and ill come up and say goodnight in just a bit ok?" I just looked him. Are u serious? I knew he was right tho, it was safer to go to me room. I wanted to text aaron anyway.
I got up and kissed him on the forhead before walking to my room and silently closing the door behind me.
*hey aaron.* i looked to the door and listened. *hey taylor. Is he ok?*
The hushed sound of papers rusling drifted under my door.
*um....well he sent me to my room.safety reasons of course but...he....he cried, ive never seen him cry before aaron*
Then the fridge opened. Droors closed. Cabinets slamed. I wondered vagely what he could be searching for.
*if i were u i would just try to stay out of his way ok? I dont want him to hurt you either. Plus he would hate himself if he did that to u*
I heard him whisper something and assumed he was talking on his phone. I hoped he came up soon...
*even if he did, i wouldnt be mad or anything, i know the consequences aaron. I dont care what he does to me as long as i or we can find a way to help him.*
Light footsteps trailed up the steps and i sent aaron a quick goodnight text before dad opened the door and popped his head inside.
"Hey babybug." He said quietly. His face seemed to have lightened up a bit and his eyes a lighter shade of blue than earlier. He looks aboslutely normal and that made my heart rate calm. I smiled and padded the spot next to me on my bed, motioning for his presence to b next to me.
"Come here daddy. " he walked slowly to my bed. I could tell he was having a hard time coming to turms with the observations i had just recently made noticable to him, and because of that he was trying to avoid me. But i needed him to trust me. Hes my bestfriend and i needed him to stay that way.
"I need you to have an opent mind when i say this ok? Dont get mad, but just listen to me and u can state ur opinion afterwards cool?" I asked. Finally he sat next to me and laid a hand on my stomach. He nodded once after taking a second to think about it and got more comfortable waiting for my responce.
"Ok...now. dad, ur...my best friend" i looked down, something about looking at his face was making me blush at the love i felt for him mixed with the worry of his condition "and im awear of what goes on in your line of work. But now that i know what i know, i want to keep a look out for you....i want to go with u dad. On ur next lockdown, im going with u, im going to b your stable ground. U can look at me or you can keep me by yourside, but when u start to feel that ....badness hit u then...i want, no NEED to be there for you." I finished and looked up to my dad and his face was wet where new tears had made tracks down his face.
He looked mad. He looked sad. But most of, he looked defeated. He knew i was right.
"Taylor Melanie Bagans, if you so much as leave my sight for more than 5 seconds youll be grounded until the end of time do u understand me?" He said lightly. I smiled and put a reassuring hand on the side of his face.
"I promise daddy." I whispered. Inwanted to cry, to just scream at the heavens and ask why my dad?! Why zak bagans, one of the most caring people in the world, who saves animals and talks to people who are in need of a good laugh and encourages others to constantly believe in what they believe in!?
But i had to stay strong for him. He needed me. And i wouldnt waist a day of my life watching my father slip away from my grasp. Not on my watch.