Cute Is What the Gods Aim For

I was curled in Joshua's arms with my face snuggled into his neck. His arms were casually around me, and his fingers were lightly trailing up and down my body. Everyone was talking, chatting; having fun. I felt my eyes slowly droop to a close. My limbs felt heavy, everything felt heavy. I didn't want to get up.
"Sweetheart." My mom.
I opened my eyes and turned my head to the direction of her voice. She stood in the door way with a faded pink apron.
"There's someone here to see you."
I nodded and closed my eyes once again. Joshua giggled and poked my stomach. I whined and snuggled further into his body. Suddenly I felt Joshua's hand creep up my thigh. It moved slowly, higher, higher and higher. My eyes popped open and I felt my thigh tingle. Suddenly his hand was very high up my leg. I screeched and sprung off him into the opposite corner of the couch. Everyone burst out laughing as I huddled in the corner of the couch whilst glaring at everyone. My mom smiled.
"Hun, come on."
Joshua pouted at me and began to inch his way over to me. I glared at him. I kept my glare steady on my face until his face was inches from mine. The glare left my face and my eyes grew large. Joshua pulled me into his lap once again and carefully and gently kissed me. When he pulled away I heard a gruff cough.
His cough.
I felt myself freeze up.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't think.
I couldn't feel.
I went completely numb.
I tried to push myself further into Joshua. He wrapped his arms protectively around me. I felt him tense up; it seemed the air around him would have turned to ice if it could. Suddenly in the room there was an air of extreme dislike, an air of extreme disdain. I wished it hadn't, but, my eyes began to prick with tears. My body began to shake. Joshua's grip on my tightened. I hid my face. I didn't want to see him. I couldn't see him. Another cough.
"Well, that is all I needed to see. Thank you. If I could have a moment with Kevin myself?"
I whimpered softly. Who was I kidding? Nothing could save me from this monster. There was silence. Tense silence. My mom was in the kitchen, most probably brewing a cup of tea. Joshua's voice shook. "Fuck off. You're never, ever having a moment with Kevin."
I tried to struggle free from Joshua's grasp, only more people would be hurt, only more. I was willing to sacrifice myself. I had failed I knew that. Punishment does come. Punishment will come. Joshua kept a tight hold on me. He gently whispered in my ear. "I love you Kevin. I fucking love you. I would never let you go to that bastard."
Raven stood up. Her expression was stony. The reverend smiled. Her eyes narrowed. "I swear, you come near Kevin, I'll kill you. You know I can. You know why too. I would start with your balls, no; I'd start with your dick. YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT! I HATE YOU I hate you."
Her face was red and shiny. She was shaking, softly shaking. Her eyes were shinning fiercely. Jason placed his arms around her and stroked her. I glanced at Susan. Her eyes were slightly pained, but, more surprised. The reverend stood there. He looked around the room. His eyes stopped at me. Me. Curled up in Joshua's lap, silent tears running down my face, ruffled hair; a broken boy. The boy he broke. His face grew red. His face grew purple. He was about to explode.
My mom gently took his arm and led him outside. We heard a car door slam. We heard a car rev up. Then there was silence. Joshua's grip on my slackened and he kissed my fore head. My mom stood in the middle of the room. She virtually stood in the middle of chaos. "What happened?"
We looked away. She was silent but all the same asking millions of questions. "What's wrong Kevin?"
I shook my head. "Nothing mom."
An awkward silence followed. "Don't give me that Kevin."
"I'm fine, really I'm okay."
Her expression was doubtful but she went back into the kitchen. Joshua turned his face towards mine. "You aren't fine Kevin."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I am."
He kissed me softly on the lips. "Don't live a lie baby."
I stood up and tugged his hand. He followed me up the stairs and into my room. I blinked so that I could adjust to the blinding whiteness. I turned to Joshua. "Aren't I already?"
He sighed and pulled me up against him. "Don't live another one."
I looked down to our bodies which were barely touching. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
I shrugged. "Everything?"
He rolled his eyes. "Don't be a silly fuck."
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh, would I be a silly fuck now?"
Joshua giggled. "No"
I pouted. "No sex."
Joshua's eyes widened. "Sex?"
I nodded. "No sex."
Joshua's brow furrowed. He let go of my waist and stomped his feet like a little child.
"I want sex. Kevie don't be mean Keviin"
I giggled and stuck out my tongue. Joshua looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. My pout left my face and my tongue went back inside my mouth. Joshua grinned and licked my nose.
Raven popped through the door. "What was this about sex?"
My face turned red and I hid behind my hair. Joshua grinned. "Kevin said no sex."
Raven grinned and glanced at me. "Why?"
Joshua giggled. "I said he would be a silly fuck."
I put my hands over my face.
Raven put her hands on her hips. "Are you even together?"
Joshua paused. I squirmed. There was momentary silence. We were all thinking if Joshua and I were together or not. Officially that is. Raven bit her lip. "That's like having sex before marriage."
Joshua grinned. He got down to his knees. He took my hand in his. "Kevin, will you be my boyfriend."
I nodded shyly and Joshua squealed and hugged me. I felt myself shrinking. This was too new. It was like becoming a new person. I wasn't used to rebirth. I wasn't used to this. What I had been was gone. The superficial perfection. It was gone. Instead a different kind of perfection was lingering in my mind. I was dirty. I was tainted. I wasn't pure. That and the normal wash of my insecurities.
I felt disgusted in myself.
I could have stopped all that.
Did that make it my fault I was like this?
I was broken out of my daze by a loud siren. I glanced out of the window to see a fire truck whiz by my house. I looked over to were it was going. The forest. It was on fire. My eyes immediately widened as I thought of the small hut of Raven and Joshua's. I heard Raven gasp and Joshua's arm tighten around me. It was their sanction. And now it was gone. We rushed down the stairs to flip on the news. We all anxiously huddled around the TV and stared with shock at the bright orange flames licking the tall pine trees.
Raven seemed to have gone in complete shock. She stared without blinking at the television screen. Silent tears ran down her face. I had the sudden urge to do something for her, to make it right. I felt like it was all my fault, the fire; everything. Joshua let me easily slip out of his arms and I padded softly to the door.
"Kevin?"
I froze. Suddenly there was frantic movement to be heard around the room. I stayed frozen. When the noise level increased I quietly slipped out of the house and ran as fast as I could over to the direction of the fire. As I reached within about half a mile of it I was overcome with smoke and fumes from the burning trees. I stepped on step forward and I felt someone's hand pull me back. I turned to be faced with Joshua. He smiled faintly.
"Babe, you cant save it."
I pouted. "But I want to do something right."
He wrapped his arms around me. "You do, do something right."
I smiled and placed a light kiss on his lips. "Like that?"
He grinned. "Oh baby, and so much more."