It's About Love

'Kellin I-I... I need help! I had this boyfriend and he treated me really bad, and he beat me all the time. And he called me names. And w-worst h-hhe rapped me a few times. I don't want Mike to know this. He already beat the crap out of the guy once, and he ended up on the hospital. I don't wanna lose my brother Kellin' I said crying.
'It's ok, come here.' he opened his arms and I got closer so he could hug me.
This felt really good but yet awkward. I haven't been in the arms of a man since me and Chris broke up, even when I was in my relationship with him he hardly hugged me.
'The worst thing is that I can control myself and once I think about him I cut'
'I know how you feel. But it's not worth it! He doesn't deserve Vic! He is a douche, forget him.'
'I can't'
'Do you still love him?'
Of course I don't love him. I just can't live with what he did to me, I can't forget that.
'No'
'So why can't you forget him?'
' 'Cause I see him everyday when I look in the mirror, when I see my scars, when I fall asleep. When someone calls me names, even if it's just a joke. He destroyed me Kellin. I never felt so useless and ugly in my entire life'
'Vic you're not ugly! You're beautiful' he said looking at me with is big blue eyes. Next thing I know his lips are on mine, I had the worst reaction I could've had, I ran away. I left him on his couch and ran away.
I can't think properly right now. Why the fuck did he kissed me? Why would he want to kiss me? I'm ugly, fat and a total piece of shit.
Jesus Christ I wish things could be easier.
Stop Vic! You gotta stop! You gotta forget Chris! You gotta forget him!
That was the moment I realized I was more broken than I thought I was.