In Their Eyes

I woke up the next morning and looked at the new cuts I had on my thigh. I looked at the way the newer ones faded into the older ones, making thin crisscrosses. This was the one thing I could never tell Ginger about. I needed to protect the only family I love, and I couldn't let her know how weak I was sometimes. I had showered the night before, so I just got dressed and put makeup on over my healing black eye.

Stepping out of the room I decided that I wasn't going to school today. I couldn't do it today, I couldn't walk around acting like I owned the place. I hurried into the kitchen and found Ella. "Ella."

She turned and looked at me. "Yes?"

"Wake Aisling up, and tell her I can't drive her to school today."

"But, you always drive her to school." Her words were laced with confusion.

"I know what I do everyday. Did I ask you for your input?" My words were harsh. I gripped the bridge of my nose, like I sometimes do when I get aggravated. "Ella, please, just wake her up and tell her." My words came out like I was just tired, and in truth I was.

She looked shocked, probably since I said please. "Yea, I will."

I hurried out of the house and jumped into my Jeep. I peeled out of the driveway and drove away. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I just to be somewhere, anywhere, other than this place.I was driving around for hours before I found myself in the graveyard. I had only been here once and that was years ago, but some how my feet lead my where I needed to go.

I fell on my knees in front of my father's grave, tears slowly pouring down my face. "Hey, dad," I said to the empty void around me. "I know you would hate for my to be crying, but things have been rough since you left. You're probably so ashamed of my for the things I've done, believe me I am too, I just didn't know what else to do. I had to protect Aisling the best I could, and I think I've been doing a good job." Tears fell faster from my face and my voice was thick, sticking to my throat. "We have no friends, because of what we've done, and I'm petrified of what'll happen to her when I graduate.

"I've failed you dad, and it's wrong but sometimes I think you've failed me. I you hadn't of died mother wouldn't beat us, I wouldn't be smacked around by Todd, Aisling would be happy, and I would've never cut." I rammed my fists into the ground. "Dad, why did you have to die?" I was crumpled against his headstone balling my eyes out. I hand on my shoulder made me nearly jump out of my skin.

I looked up, my eyes meeting Donovan's blue orbs. His face was masked with concern. "Ginger? Are you okay?"

I stood up quickly, wiping at my eyes, even though he had already seen the tears. "Why do you care?" I asked weakly.

"I heard the things you said. Is that really what happens to you?"

"No, I just come out to graveyards and start crying about random things to make myself feel better." i turned my face away, remembering my black eye.

He grabbed my chin, forcing my head to stay facing him. He went to touch my eye, but dropped his hand when I flinched. "Why don't you tell someone?"

"Why would I?" I shook my head. "I can't let Aisling's life be torn apart more than it is. Besides, if I did tell some one Aisling and I would have no where to go, and our mother won't let us get away with out a fight."

He looked my eyes. "Then why don't you fight?"

"Because, I'm tired of fighting." I didn't know why I was telling him this. I guess I just had to tell someone other than Aisling for once. Though I didn't know if I could trust him. He may beautiful, but if I've learned one thing it's that you can't trust beautiful people.