I Need You Now

~ Max's POV ~ 

The next few days on the tour had been going fairly well. I managed to keep lying and avoiding questions from the guys. 
Josh helped me get my story straight,to make sure that there was no hole in my web of lies. 
To be honest it scared me that Josh was so good at this and that it was becoming a regular thing for me to lie to my friends. 

The tour was drawing to it's closer end and I couldn't help but feel happy about it ending. 
But I now knew that lying was going to be my thing now,to lie to everyone and deceive their 
trust in me. 

I stared up at the ceiling of the back upstairs living room as I thought about every lie I have told and will tell people. 
I noticed the door open but continued to stare up at the ceiling. 
'Hey' I looked over to see Josh smiling over at me from the seat opposite me. 
'Hi' I looked back to ceiling.
'What you thinking about?' He asked as I aimlessly stared up. 
'Lies' I said with an almost emotionless tone in my voice. 
'What about lies?' He had become intrigued by what I was talking about either that or he is very confused by me. 
'Why I tell them' From the corner of my eye I saw him tilt his head in confusion. 
'You don't have to' He told me. 
I instantly fixed my gaze on him and leaned closer toward him. 
'So I don't have to,alright then let me go tell my four best friends that I hate myself,I cut because of it,all this time I have lied to them and oh I am dating Josh also your bestfriend' 
He stayed silent at my outburst. 
'I am really gonna go down there and say hey guys I am gay and mental,okay have a nice day' Although my attitude was snarky I had a point. I think. 
'I didn't mean it like that' He said like a child looking to the floor innocently. 
'I have a point,right?' I asked
'You do,it's just' He looked up
'What?' I gained eye contact. 
'You honestly don't have to lie. Like you said you can't exactly say those words but you can explain things to them at least' He suggested to me. 
'Why? Why should I?' 
'Because they are your four best friends and you at least owe them the truth about yourself' 

I sighed knowing he was right. 
I flopped back into the sofa. 
I took my head off the sofa and looked at Josh once more. 
'How can I?' I asked 
'You can' He encouraged 
'What will they think of me?'
'You are going to have to find that out for yourself' 
'But..I..just'
Josh knelt down in front of me and had either hand on one of my knees. 
'Look Max,there is no need to worry about this,the guys are going to accept this or else' He smiled at me. 
'But-'
'Sh' He placed a finger to his lip. 
'If-'
'Zip' He removed the finger from his lip and did the hand action for zip over his mouth. 
'What will-'
'No Max!' He shouted clenching one of my knees. 
'I just-'
'Don't get worked up about this honestly,the more you worry the worse you mind-set becomes and the worse mind-set means you are less confident and the less confident you are the higher the chances are of you backing out from the truth and continuing to lie to your friends' He smirked after he spoke as he gave a smartass answer to my dilemma. 
'Josh' 
'Yes,this better not be another  question' He told me 
'Well it is,but it's not this exactly it's more or less a related topic to it' I explained
'Okay?' I had confused him even more than before. 
'Why is keeping up the lying such a wrong thing?' I asked 
'Well in your situation it's wrong because the more you lie the more guilty you feel and that leads to you becoming on edge around them,living in fear of that guilt being clear to others' His face went serious for that moment as he spoke. 
'Sounds like you know the feeling' I told him as he sat back up onto his seat opposite me. 
'Yeah,I guess' He shrugged
'Tell me,I am your boyfriend' I used that as an excuse for him to tell me. 
'Well,I guess I have lied a lot in the past hence why I am so good at it,everyone lies,I guess I lied more than everyone else' He shrugged after he spoke. 
'Why did you lie a lot?' I knew I was pushing it by being fairly nosy,I just wanted to know. 
'I shall tell you some other time it's not really important right now,you have stuff to deal with at the moment,I promise to tell you another time' I hung my head slightly on the fact that I was his boyfriend and he had a secret from me. 
'Don't worry,I will tell you,just not right now' He told me as he leaned up and put either one of his hands at either side of my hips,I could feel his breath on my body. 
'Max,don't worry,it's not important about me,it's about you and how you feel at the moment with everything' He leaned in and kissed me although the kiss was sweet I couldn't help but feel disappointed by the fact that Josh wouldn't tell me. 

He sat back up opposite me as the door to the living room opened. It was Dan. 
'Hey mate' Josh beamed at him. 
'Sup' Dan seemed more down than usual. He took a seat next to Josh after he spoke. 
'Whats up mate?' I asked being nosy just as I was with Josh. 
'Nothing' He looked up at me. 
'No,somethings up Flint,spill' Josh said as he placed a hand on Dan's shoulder. 
'I can't,it's nothing' He shook his head as he finished speaking. 
'Dan,what's wrong?' Josh went stern in his voice. 
'Look,you don't have to answer it's just' 
I gulped as he listened to what he was saying. 
'I heard your conversation' He told us. 
Me and Josh locked in with eye contact as he stop speaking. Dan looked to both of us for answers. 

I had a mental breakdown.  
My mind went numb and completely blank as I tried to speak. My vision went slightly blurry. My wrist began to burn up in pain. 

I held my head as I regained eyesight slightly. I didn't know what to say as I saw Dan and Josh staring at me as I felt pain strike in my wrist and no pain in my mind or any feeling whatsoever. 
'Max!' It was Josh. 
'Mate,you feeling okay?' Dan asked as I leaned backward into my seat. 
I held my head tightly as I hoped to regain some feeling. 
All I could think about was the pain in my wrist and the thought of the truth coming out. 
I closed my eyes shut as I felt someone latch on to my arm and begin to shake it. 
I opened my eyes to see Dan and Josh right in my face with the look of panic on their faces. 
'Max' The said in sync with one another. 
I sat back up slightly as I felt slightly better. I looked at Josh and then to Dan. I stared at Dan for a while. 
'I am sorry Dan' I muttered before my head felt slightly dizzy. Dan grabbed my arm before I fell back into the sofa. 
'For?' He asked as I kept ahold of my arm tightly. 
'Lying' He smiled at me. 
'Everyone has to lie sometimes' He smiled as he propped me up onto the sofa again. 
'Feeling alright?' Josh asked me. 
'I feel dizzy,my mind has gone numb and my wrists' I looked to Josh as I said wrist knowing that Dan didn't know. 
'What about your wrists?' Dan asked looking back and forth from me and Josh. 
'Dan....' I heard Josh say before I fell back onto the sofa closing my eyes shut as I fell. 

Lies where do they get you. 
Apparently here.....