You'd Be My Sun; You'd Be My Light
I Told You It Was Fine
“I just personally want to thank Wil for making this one of the most awkward days of my life,” I spoke once everything kind of calmed down… kind of!
“Hey, if you and your little boy toy were just honest with everyone, this wouldn’t have been awkward to you,” he snickered.
“Oh my god,” I hid my face in my hands. He didn’t have it word it that way! Boy toy. Oh my god!
“Why wouldn’t you tell me that? I’m your best friend,” Hannah threw at me.
“Yeah, Jake!” Wil laid into his friend as well.
“Can we talk about something else?” I complained.
“I actually need to get going. It’s getting late and I have errands to run in the morning” Hannah stepped in.
“Well, then I’m going to bed,” I muttered, giving Cooper one last pet before getting to my feet.
“It’s only eight o’clock,” Wil informed me.
“Good night, Wilbur,” I mumbled as I limped by him.
I went on to walk Hannah to the door with her puppy in toe. Before she walked out, we shared a hug. I told her if I felt any better, I’d try and make it to her shop to hang. And with that, she went out to her truck… and I tired to hurry off to my room.
“Do you need help?” Jake asked after a whimper came out of me once I took the first couple of steps.
“I’m fine,” I assured him, biting my lip to try and get rid of some of it in my ankle.
“Ky,” he huffed playfully before getting to his feet.
“Well, I’m going to leave you two to your alone time…” Wil snickered.
I glanced up at him to shoot a glare his way. Of course when our eyes made contact, he wiggled his eyebrows at me. He’s such an ass! How is Jake friends with him? They made plans to ride together some time and he left. Thank God! But then Jake and I were left… alone. Neither of us has talked about what’s happened. It’s ten times more awkward now!
The two of us didn’t speak a word as he helped me up to my room. He stayed behind me just in case I lost my balance. I didn’t though. When I walked into my room, I thought that would be the end of it. I don’t need him; he can go in his room now. Night, Jake. NOPE! He waltzed right in and sat on my bed as I went over to my dresser to get pajamas.
“Yes, Jake?” I asked, knowing he just doesn’t sit there like that unless he wants to talk about something.
“I feel like we should… talk about… things,” he started softly.
“What things?” I rolled my eyes since he couldn’t see it.
“Things… that happened,” he went on.
“We don’t have to. It’s fine,” I tried to wave it off.
“No, but I want to. I think it’s… kind of a big deal,” he chuckled nervously.
“Jake, it’s fine. I told you ever since…”
“But… I… took something… from you that I could… never give back,” his voice was so small.
“I told you it was fine,” I was getting annoyed now. I didn’t want to talk about it!
“You deserved to have that moment with someone else though. Someone that you truly care about and have feelings for…” he trailed off.
“Well maybe I have feelings for you,” I muttered without thinking.
“What?” he questioned… and I hoped to god it was because he actually couldn’t hear me.
“Nothing. It’s fine! It happened and we can’t take it back,” I spoke louder as I turned to face him… only to be met with his bright, blue eyes… nearly two feet away from mine.
Before I had any time to try and make sense of the look in them, his hand came up, cupping my cheek. With his smooth palm tilting my face up slightly, he leaned in and… pressed his lips against mine. Everything in me wanted to give into this. But… my brain told me it wasn’t right! And my first instinct was to… slap him! My hand came up as he tried to deepen this kiss and smacked him… right across the cheek. It made him pull away quickly, holding his reddened cheek. Ah! Now I feel bad! I didn’t mean…
But I couldn’t say anything. I was scared now! I was all tingly from my fingertips to my toes! What was I supposed to do? Before I could have a panic attack, I hurried into my bathroom, shutting the door quickly. After I locked it, I let my back rest again it and slid down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I put my forehead to my knees too, trying to calm myself from the events that just happened. Damn it! No! I shouldn’t feel this way!
As I sat there, I heard his feet shuffle up to the door. They stopped right outside. I could even hear his heavy breathing. Don’t say anything. Please don’t say anything! Tonight’s been awkward enough! I then heard the slight thud on the door. It was as if he had laid his palm against it; like he was trying to convince himself to knock, but he just couldn’t do it. Seconds after, his footsteps started up again, fading into the distance. After I heard the door to my room close, I could finally breath again. I relaxed and just looked up at the ceiling. What the hell do I do now?
“Hey, if you and your little boy toy were just honest with everyone, this wouldn’t have been awkward to you,” he snickered.
“Oh my god,” I hid my face in my hands. He didn’t have it word it that way! Boy toy. Oh my god!
“Why wouldn’t you tell me that? I’m your best friend,” Hannah threw at me.
“Yeah, Jake!” Wil laid into his friend as well.
“Can we talk about something else?” I complained.
“I actually need to get going. It’s getting late and I have errands to run in the morning” Hannah stepped in.
“Well, then I’m going to bed,” I muttered, giving Cooper one last pet before getting to my feet.
“It’s only eight o’clock,” Wil informed me.
“Good night, Wilbur,” I mumbled as I limped by him.
I went on to walk Hannah to the door with her puppy in toe. Before she walked out, we shared a hug. I told her if I felt any better, I’d try and make it to her shop to hang. And with that, she went out to her truck… and I tired to hurry off to my room.
“Do you need help?” Jake asked after a whimper came out of me once I took the first couple of steps.
“I’m fine,” I assured him, biting my lip to try and get rid of some of it in my ankle.
“Ky,” he huffed playfully before getting to his feet.
“Well, I’m going to leave you two to your alone time…” Wil snickered.
I glanced up at him to shoot a glare his way. Of course when our eyes made contact, he wiggled his eyebrows at me. He’s such an ass! How is Jake friends with him? They made plans to ride together some time and he left. Thank God! But then Jake and I were left… alone. Neither of us has talked about what’s happened. It’s ten times more awkward now!
The two of us didn’t speak a word as he helped me up to my room. He stayed behind me just in case I lost my balance. I didn’t though. When I walked into my room, I thought that would be the end of it. I don’t need him; he can go in his room now. Night, Jake. NOPE! He waltzed right in and sat on my bed as I went over to my dresser to get pajamas.
“Yes, Jake?” I asked, knowing he just doesn’t sit there like that unless he wants to talk about something.
“I feel like we should… talk about… things,” he started softly.
“What things?” I rolled my eyes since he couldn’t see it.
“Things… that happened,” he went on.
“We don’t have to. It’s fine,” I tried to wave it off.
“No, but I want to. I think it’s… kind of a big deal,” he chuckled nervously.
“Jake, it’s fine. I told you ever since…”
“But… I… took something… from you that I could… never give back,” his voice was so small.
“I told you it was fine,” I was getting annoyed now. I didn’t want to talk about it!
“You deserved to have that moment with someone else though. Someone that you truly care about and have feelings for…” he trailed off.
“Well maybe I have feelings for you,” I muttered without thinking.
“What?” he questioned… and I hoped to god it was because he actually couldn’t hear me.
“Nothing. It’s fine! It happened and we can’t take it back,” I spoke louder as I turned to face him… only to be met with his bright, blue eyes… nearly two feet away from mine.
Before I had any time to try and make sense of the look in them, his hand came up, cupping my cheek. With his smooth palm tilting my face up slightly, he leaned in and… pressed his lips against mine. Everything in me wanted to give into this. But… my brain told me it wasn’t right! And my first instinct was to… slap him! My hand came up as he tried to deepen this kiss and smacked him… right across the cheek. It made him pull away quickly, holding his reddened cheek. Ah! Now I feel bad! I didn’t mean…
But I couldn’t say anything. I was scared now! I was all tingly from my fingertips to my toes! What was I supposed to do? Before I could have a panic attack, I hurried into my bathroom, shutting the door quickly. After I locked it, I let my back rest again it and slid down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I put my forehead to my knees too, trying to calm myself from the events that just happened. Damn it! No! I shouldn’t feel this way!
As I sat there, I heard his feet shuffle up to the door. They stopped right outside. I could even hear his heavy breathing. Don’t say anything. Please don’t say anything! Tonight’s been awkward enough! I then heard the slight thud on the door. It was as if he had laid his palm against it; like he was trying to convince himself to knock, but he just couldn’t do it. Seconds after, his footsteps started up again, fading into the distance. After I heard the door to my room close, I could finally breath again. I relaxed and just looked up at the ceiling. What the hell do I do now?
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