Right Here in My Arms

I opened the door and grinned before the door was even fully open, “Hey you.” I already knew Ville was going to be there. It was always him. He always showed up unexpectedly and so I always knew that I was him.

“Hi Rowan,”

“Ensio,” I froze. Not Ville, not Ville at all. Not the face that I was expecting to see as soon as I opened the door. Why was he here!?

“Well, duh! Who else would it be?” he grinned and walked into the house.

I closed the door and turned to look at him, “What’s going on?”

“I wanted to visit you. We haven’t hung out in a few days,” he replied, shrugging.

I nodded and pursed my lips. Why did Ensio show up so unexpectedly? He didn’t call or anything. It was weird. I was just glad I didn’t answer the door saying, “Hey Ville!”

“What’s been goin’ on with you?” he asked me, shoving his hands into his pockets.

I shrugged, “I’ve been hanging around the house a lot. Watching movies, reading books, you know... That kind of stuff.” Half lie, half truth. I had been reading a watching a lot of movies.... When I wasn’t around Ville, of course.

“Yeah?” he smiled, “Not much work?”

I shook my head, “Nah. Not really.”

He nodded, “Yeah. I haven’t been in recording, so I know what you mean.”

I rolled my eyes, “Ensio, that is completely and a totally different thing.”

“Not really,”

I laughed and stuck my tongue out at him, “Whatever.”

He laughed and nodded. He got quiet for a second as looked around the house. He chewed on his bottom lip and looked back at me, “So.”

“What?” I asked. It was awkward between us. There was tension and the air was weird. It was more awkward than it had been these past few weeks seeing him. It was awkward seeing him because of Ville situation and not allowed to see Ville and now it was even more awkward because of the Ville situation and me sneaking around his back. I was scared that I somehow slip up and mention that I had seen Ville and I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want him to find out.

“Have you seen Ville at all?” he questioned.

I knew he was going to ask me this, but it still caught me off guard and made me freeze a little bit. Why does he always have to ask me this? I hated lying to him but I knew that he’d be pissed if I answered that I was with him. “Nope, not since that lunch,” I simply replied, hoping he wouldn’t see through my lie.

He nodded and smiled, “Good.” He seemed to have bought my lie, thank god.

“Wanna hang out?” I asked, smiling. I hoped that this sudden subject change would get him to not dwell on the Ville topic so much. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore in case I did somehow manage to mention spending time with Ville.

He shook his head, “Busy.”

“With what? You aren’t recording,” I said.

He rolled his eyes, “I have a life other than recording, Rowan.”

“Right, right,” I pouted, “I guess I’ll see you later then if you don’t want to hang out with me.”

“Its not that I don’t want to hang out with you,” he said, “I just have plans. I just wanted to check in with you and see if you were alright.”

I giggled and shrugged, “I was kidding. We’ll hang out soon though, okay?”

He smiled and walked over to me, “We better.”

“We will,” I told him and opened the door for him.

“I’ll let you know when I’m free to hang out,” he replied with a huge grin.

I nodded, “Alright, I will be waiting for you.”

He nodded and walked out on the deck. He quickly spun around and set his hands on the railing, “You’d tell me if you did go and see Ville... Wouldn’t you?”

I froze and stared at him for a few seconds. I saw the look in his eyes that he was extremely serious about it. He really wanted to hear a ‘yes’ from me. He really did want me to tell him if I had seen him or not. I nodded at him and smiled. “Yeah, yeah. Of course I would, Ensio,” I replied with a smile. A completely fake smile as I lied to him. I felt awful and guilty about having to lie to him, but he didn’t control my life. He doesn’t suspect a thing and he doesn’t need to find out about this.

He grinned, “Good. I’m definitely relieved and glad to hear you say that.” He spun around and walked over to his car and climbed in.

I closed the door and groaned. Ensio was an awesome guy and he was cool to hang out with, but the fact that he went and told me who not to see what stupid. I wondered if he did that to anyone else other than me.

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“Let’s go drinking tonight,”

I tore my eyes from the counter in my kitchen and looked over at Ville. I made a face at him, “Tonight?”

Ville nodded and grinned at me, “Yes, tonight.”

I thought about it for a minute. Drinking a little did sound kind of nice and maybe it would get my mind off some of the home sickness that I was feeling. I missed home, I missed my friends, and I missed my family... I missed the beach. Ugh, the hot and sunny beach. “I don’t know... It’s kind of short notice,” I replied, shrugging. I kind of didn’t want to go. I wanted to be in the warm house, considering it was really cold outside.

“Aw, c’mon, Rowan. It’ll be fun!” he said wrapping his arms around me and rested his head against mine.

I sighed and shrugged again. To be honest, drinking really sounded like a good idea, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say yes. “I have work tomorrow,” I replied, knowing I didn’t. I just hoped he bought my excuse.

“You have tomorrow off. You told me earlier today that you did,” he mentioned.

Damn. “I’m really tired though.... And – and-”

“And you’re running out of good excuses,”

True. I was. I was trying to make up excuses not to go drinking, but I was definitely running out of them. “Alright, fine... I’ll go,” I replied.

“Great,” he released his arms from around me, “Let’s go now.”

“Now?” I asked.

“You need to get your hearing check, my dear,” he chuckled.

I slapped his arm and sighed, “Call a cab.”

“We’re walking,” he replied.

I raised a brow at him and laughed at him for a minute. “Oh... You were serious,” I replied, looking at his face and noticed he wasn’t laughing along with me.

“As serious as I can get,” he smiled, “Go bundle up.”

“Ville,” I whined.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, “It’s not that bad out.”

“For you!” I shouted, “I’m used to eighty degree weather.”

He pushed me to my bedroom, “Bundle up.”

I groaned and walked over to the closet and pulled out a purple striped fleece long sleeve.

“That’s cute,”

I looked over at the door at Ville and glared at him. “Shut up,” I mumbled, searching through my closet for another shirt. I didn’t find any other type of clothing that would keep me warm, so I decided to wear the fleece shirt.

He laughed at me and rested his shoulder against the doorway, watching me intently as I fumbled around for the bottom of the shirt to put it on.

I finally slipped the shirt on and looked at Ville as he just stood there. “How much more should I bundle up?” I questioned him.

He shrugged and shook his head, “Grab a jacket. The bar should be warm so you’ll be fine with that.

I nodded and grabbed my jacket that hung in my closet and put it on. I then walked towards Ville and smiled. I walked passed him and over to my father room. I gently knocked on the door before slowly opening it. “Ville and I are going out,” I told him.

My father looked up at me through his square glasses and smiled, “Alright, have fun. You have your phone with you?”

I checked my pockets and nodded, “Yep. See you later.” I shut the door and then followed Ville out of the house. I walked beside him as we walked down the sidewalk in silence. I wrapped my arms around myself a shivered. I managed to keep myself from showing that I was too cold until was had been walking for a while. My feet were frozen, my teeth were chattering and my ears were cold. I knew I should’ve bundled up more. Stupid Finland. “My e-ears are like i-icicles,” I shivered. After a few seconds, I felt something warm on top of my head. I looked over at Ville and noticed that he didn’t have his beanie on. I touched the top of my head and frowned at him, “Y-You didn’t have to do t-that.”

He shrugged, “No, I didn’t have to... But I wanted to.”

He’s so sweet.

I pulled the beanie down on my head more and felt the instant heat on my ears. It kind of burned, but the burning sensation somewhat felt good... I think.



We had been at the bar for a little over two and a half hours – getting pretty close to three hours, actually - and I actually managed to get a few drinks into Rowan. I wanted to see if she could hold her liquor or not and so far it wasn’t looking like she could. She was already acting like a fool as she stumbled around the bar around a bunch of people - although it was pretty cute. I knew that she definitely wasn’t much of a drinker by how she took all of this – the drinks and the drunkenness. Of course, I wasn’t any help to her as I kept giving her more and more drinks throughout the night. I may have possibly given her two too many.

“Rowan. Come here, love,” I called, holding my arms out towards her.

She stumbled towards me and gave me a toothy grin. “There you are, Ville,” she slurred, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

I gently grabbed her by the arm and pulled her close, “I’ve been standing here the whole time.”

“I was talking to you in the bathroom and was trying to convince you to come back out here, but it turned out I was talking to the mirror,” she giggled and buried her face in my chest.

I laughed and wrapped my arms around her. I rested my chin on top of her head and sighed.

She tightly wrapped her arms around my waist and took a deep breath. After a little while, she back out of my hold around her and she giggled, “You’re pretty when I’m drunk.”

I looked down at her and chuckled. “Let’s go get some fresh air,” I told her, and released my arms from around her. I grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her behind me out of the bar. I looked back at her as she hiccupped and I chuckled. I gently tugged on her arm so she stood next to me.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

I looked at her and watched her and she took a slow deep breath of fresh air every few seconds, “Are you alright?”

She slowly nodded and looked over at me and grinned.

I chuckled and nodded, “Let’s get you home.” I grabbed her by the wrist again and pulled her to the street where I waved a cab down. I climbed in first before I pulled her in with me. I told the cab driver the address and looked back over at Rowan. I reached my hand over and tucked the hair that was in her face behind her ear.

She looked over at me and smiled, “What’re you doin’?”

I shook my head and chuckled. I leaned over and pressed my lips against her neck. I inhaled her scent through my nose and closed my eyes. Her smell was intoxicating. I didn’t understand what she did to me. Rowan... She wasn’t like any other girl that I had met before, and I’ve met a lot of women in my life. I wanted her more than I’ve ever wanted any other woman before. No, I didn’t even want her – I - I craved her.

She set her hand on my chest and gently pushed me away, but I was tempted to just go back to her neck. She giggled and shook her head at me, “Don’t do that. It tickles.” She drunkenly rubbed her neck on where I kissed and sighed.

I smirked and scooted closer to her, causing her to hide her face in her hands. I didn’t know how I truly felt about her. I had really gotten to know her within the last couple weeks and she was an amazing woman. She was smart, polite... sexy. I just wanted to be near her. I wanted to feel her skin against mine. I looked up as the cab driver pulled up to the house. Maybe I’d figure out how I feel about her after tonight.

“This isn’t my house,” she mumbled, looking out the window and the cab stopped. She didn’t sound angry or upset, she just sound extremely confused at the situation and I don’t think she liked it.

I handed the cab driver the money and reached across Rowan, opening the door. I gently nudged her out and smirked, “I know.”

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I opened my eyes and looked around the room I was in. I quickly sat up but immediately regretted it as my head pounded. Fuuuuuck. I groaned and set my hands on my head. I looked across the bed at the empty space and swallowed hard. The sheets over there were just as messy as my side. Where the hell was I? My head ached, I felt nauseas, I didn’t remember anything from last night and I didn’t know where I was. What a great mix of things, huh? I took a deep breath and tried to stay calm, but I was far too nervous to be calm. I tried thinking back to last night, but I could quite recall anything, which made me begin to freak out even more.

I looked down and noticed that I wasn’t in any clothes. Like no clothes at all. My heart began to race and I felt even worse about everything. No only was I in a strange place, but I was naked and hung-over. Great. I ripped the sheets off the bed and cocooned myself in them. I jumped off the bed and went on a hunt for my clothes. I searched the room in a panicked rush for my clothes, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.