Right Here in My Arms

I couldn’t find my clothes in the bedroom and I remained in the sheets from the bed. I was confused and just lost. I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know what to think. Waking up in a strange place was freaky. The last thing I could remember was being at my house... I knew I was with Ville then because he suggested we go drinking. But, did we actually go drinking? I don’t know. I guess that’s what might have happened... What was today? What time was it? I searched the room for a clock and found one on the nightstand. The red numbers told me that it was nine forty five AM.

I decided that I would try to walk around this house. Maybe something would pop out and I’d recognize something... I don’t know. I walked over to one of the doors and slowly turned the door knob. I opened it and it revealed a large walk in closet. Nope. I walked across the room towards another door and opened it, revealing a bathroom. I closed it and then looked at the last door that was in the room. This has to be the door out. I walked over to it and slowly opening the door. It revealed a long hallway with stairs at the end.

I slowly stepped out and tip toed down the hallway. Who knew what was down there. I was freaking out and I didn’t know what I could potentially find. I could be in some rapists’ house for all I know! I mentally slapped myself across the face at the thought of that and shook my head. I immediately froze as the hardwood flooring creaked underneath my weight. I held my breath and stood there for probably a solid fifteen seconds before continue forward after I didn’t hear anything. I slowly walked down the stairs, hoping that the stairs wouldn’t creak as well and give away my sneaking. I stepped off the last stair and stood in the bright room, which caused my head to throb from the light. I closed my eyes and held my hand to my head. I rarely got headaches - or migraines – but when I did, they were pretty bad. I opened my eyes and squinted, looking around the place.

It was a huge place. The room I was standing in would probably be considered the “dining” room. There was a table to my left, probably about four feet or so away, and to my right there was the large living room. It had a nice TV, two couches, and a chair in the corner of the room. This house didn’t look like any place I’d been before and that definitely scared me. I didn’t know what to do. I quickly looked over to my left as I saw a swift movement.

“Rowan? What’re you doing?” Ville’s tall and thin body stood by the table with two plates in his hand. He had a black button up shirt that draped over her torso – wasn’t even buttoned up -, a pair of dark blue jeans on and a pair of socks on.

I opened my eyes wide and stared at him, “What’re... You doing?”

“I made us breakfast. Well... More burned breakfast than anything,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders and placing the plates on the table. He looked back to me and chuckled, “I hope you like your bacon extra crispy.”

I continued to stare at him, more confused than I was two minutes ago. I couldn’t move and I wasn’t even certain that I was even breathing. Was this Ville’s house?

“What are you doing, love?” he spoke.

I took a deep breath and slowly shook my head at him. “Uhm... I-I don’t-” I paused and shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t find any words to say. I didn’t know what to say to him right now.

“Do you want to go get dressed or something?” he questioned, raising a brow at me. “I mean, you look good in my sheets, but,” he shoved one hand into his jeans pocket and gestured to the sheets that I wore with his other hand. He chuckling again.

I looked down at the sheets and chewed on my bottom lip. I gripped the sheets around me tighter and raised my head up, closing my eyes. “Where’re my clothes?” I questioned, quietly. I felt my face get hot as I began to feel extremely embarrassed.

“They’re in the corner of the bedroom,”

I opened my eyes and ducked my head. I walked back up the stairs and into the bedroom where I was a few minutes ago. I walked over to the corner and grabbed my clothes. What the hell were they doing there? I dropped the sheets from my body and changed into my clothes that I had worn yesterday.

I felt so embarrassed. I felt like an idiot just walking down there only in his sheets. That was just incredibly awful. I looked everywhere for my clothes when I woke up, but I guess I didn’t look that hard for them. I had knots in my stomach and I really felt like puking now, but that also could’ve just been from the hang-over. It might have just been getting worse with time.

After I dressed, I walked back downstairs and looked at Ville. I chewed on my bottom lip and sighed.

“Better?”

I slowly nodded at him and nervously rubbed the palm of my hands on my jeans. Oh, how awkward.

He smiled at me and pointed to the seat that was across the table from him.

I hesitated but slowly made my way over to the table. I pull the chair out and sat down. I eyed the plate that was in front of me - bacon and scrambled eggs with a glass of orange juice on the side. “Sustenance,” I muttered. I notice two little circular pills that were sitting beside my orange juice. Oh, thank god. Aspirin!

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” I spoke and then grabbed the fork, beginning to stuff the eggs into my mouth. I practically turned into a vacuum and inhaled all of my food. I set my fork down and grabbed a slice of the bacon from my plate. Extremely crunchy bacon, but it was still good. I stared at the table for a little bit, trying to think of last night. I really couldn’t remember anything and it really bothered me. How did I get to Ville’s house? Why did I wake up completely naked? I took a deep breath and swallowed the bacon. “Ville?” I mumbled, raising my eyes to look at him.

“Yes?” he replied, looking up at me.

I sighed, “Why did I not have any clothes on when I woke up?”

He looked at me for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulder, “You must have decided to get rid of it all in the middle of the night.”

“What happened last night?” I asked.

“What’re you really asking me, Rowan?” he inquired

I sighed. I was trying to be slightly subtle about what I was really asking but apparently he saw right through that. “Did we sleep together?” I questioned. I needed to know the answered to this, but I dreaded to actually hear that answer. I was afraid that we actually did sleep together.

He smirked at me and shrugged, looking down to his plate and taking a bite of his eggs. He looked back up at me, “I dunno.”

I let out an exasperated sigh, “Ville, please... I don’t remember last night.”

“That’s a shame,”

I hated the little look he had on his face. It was this devious smile because he knew that I was frustrated. I needed a clear answer from him of whether or not we did sleep together and he was just making everything worse. “Ville,” I begged.

He remained silent.

I sighed and realized that he wasn’t going to tell me. I decided to drop it and began to worry about other things... Oh, like my dad. “Do you happen to know where my phone is?” I asked.

He simply shrugged his shoulders.

“May I use your phone?” I raised a brow at him.

He pointed with his index finger to the home phone that sat on the bookshelf across the room.

I stood up and quickly walked to the phone. I grabbed it and dialed in the home number for my house. I listened to it as it just continued to ring and ring. I rubbed the palm of my hand against my forehead and closed my eyes, really hoping my dad would answer so I could explain. I finally hung up the phone as it just rang and looked over at Ville.

“Who’d you call?” he asked.

I wondered back over to him and sighed, “My house. I was hoping he’d answer.” Talking to Ville felt awkward to me now.

“Maybe he went to work or something,” he replied.

I chuckled awkwardly and shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe.” I thought about it and I highly doubted that it was true. “I should get home,” I mentioned.

“So early?”

I nodded, “My dad will worry if he isn’t already.” I should’ve been back home last night but clearly that wasn’t what Ville decided was best for me. I was all kinds of frustrated and I couldn’t even put it in words what feelings I had right now. I couldn’t tell if I was angry or anything. Frustrated and confused was mainly all I knew right now. I wanted to piece together last night, but that definitely wasn’t going to happen. I reached across the table and grabbed the aspirin and my orange juice. I took the aspirin and then took a sip of my orange juice to wash the pills down before I set the glass down.

“Do you want me to call a cab for you?” he asked.

I looked over at him, “I would really appreciate that.”

He nodded one and stood up, heading towards the phone. After a few seconds, I heard him speaking very quietly.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, untangling any knots I found with my fingers. I wanted to get home and take a shower and take a nap – maybe a nap then a shower. Either way, I really needed both. I really hoped that Ville was right when he said my dad was at work. I wanted to sneak into the house and be able to say that I’d been there all day.

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I walked into my house and took a deep breath. My headache had slightly gone away, but I knew it would get worse if I hadn’t done something else to get rid of it. I knew that I required to just take a shower and go to sleep, but I didn’t have the energy to take a shower right now.

“Rowan?”

I sighed as I heard my dad’s voice. “I’m in here,” I replied.

My dad exited his bedroom and walked into the living room with me. “Where were you all night?” he questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

I chewed on my bottom lip for a second, “I stayed at Ville’s house for the night.”

“Oh?” he raised a brow, “Rowan, I expected you to be home last night. I though that was your intention.”

I needed to think of a good enough excuse that didn’t mentioned me potentially sleeping with Ville. “My intention was to come back,” I told him, “But then we just went to his house and we lost track to time... Talking.”

He shrugged, “Alright, fair enough. But no call to tell me? No nothing.”

“I know, I know,” I frowned, “I think I dropped my phone in town when we were walking around.”

He sighed and shook his head, “I don’t know, Rowan. I don’t feel like that’s the full truth.”

“I’m sorry, dad. Really, I am. I feel awful about this and I promise that this is the last time that it will ever happen. I swear,” I replied. It was true. I didn’t want that to ever happen again – the real story, not the lie.

“Alright,” he replied and nodded, “I’m just glad to see that you’re okay.”

I smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Good,”

“Well, I didn’t sleep so well, so I think I’m going to go to sleep now,” I told him.

He simply nodded.

“Goodnight,” I said. I walked through the living room and into my bedroom. I kicked my shoes off and set them at the foot of the bed before I climbed into the bed. After this morning with Ville, I didn’t know what to think. I needed to think about some thing and get some things straight. I don’t know, maybe I wouldn’t see Ville for a few days. I wouldn’t see him until I got thing figured out and things set straight. The fact that he wouldn’t tell me whether or not we slept together worried me and it really put me off. I couldn’t stand being around that right now and I wasn’t going to deal with that.

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I had been avoiding talking to Ville for a few weeks now. He had called me all the time for what reason I didn’t know. I never answered the phone for when he called and he never . I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t even want to see him after what happened that one night. He wasn’t being honest with me of whether or we slept together and it frustrated me. I really needed to know if we did or not and he showed no sign of actually going to tell me. I knew that I needed more time to think about everything before I saw him again, though.

I made my dad take me to work with him, even though there wasn’t that much to be done right now. I needed to be away from the house just in case Ville did come to the house to see me, which was likely that he would. I really missed him but I just needed to figure everything out before I saw him again.

My dad told me to take a sick day today and try to clear my mind of everything before I came back in. He mentioned that I had been really distant recently and awfully quiet and he wanted to know why, in which I told him that I was homesick. It was pretty much true, other than the Ville situation, and I was homesick.

I walked over to the home and looked at the caller ID. “Ville,” I groaned and rolled my eyes. He had called three times today already and I didn’t answer any of them. He never left a message, so I felt that there really wasn’t a reason to call him back. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I took a nice long shower to get my mind off of everything and I felt a little better. I got dressed back into my clothes and dried my hair. I decided that I wanted to walked and some coffee, so I slipped my shoes on and grabbed a jacket. I walked to the door and opened it, gasping. “Ville, what the hell are you doing here?” I barked.

He stood there, shocked and shook his head, “So you are home.”

I sighed and slowly nodded, “Yes. What are you doing here?”

He pushed passed me into the house and shrugged, “You weren’t answering my calls so-”

“That was probably for a reason,” I barked and slammed the door. I turned and looked at him and crossed my arms over my chest. I was pissed. I didn’t want him here... I didn’t even want to see him until I figured some things out.

He raised a brow at me and nodded, “Right.” He took a few steps into the living room and looked around, “Why haven’t we seen each other for a while?”

“I’ve been busy,” I mumbled my lie and took two steps forward away from the door and into the living room.

He looked at me and chuckled, “You’re a terrible liar, Rowan.”

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head. “You owe me an apology... Or rather an explanation,” I mentioned.

“I don’t owe you anything,” he simply mentioned.

“I don’t remember a goddamn thing, Ville. You owe me an explanation of what happened,” I said to him, feeling my blood beginning to boil.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten so trashed that night. If you hadn’t maybe I wouldn’t have to tell you what happened.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have given me so many drinks. You practically pressured me into drinking those,” I snapped at him.

“I didn’t hear any complaints,”

I raised a brow at him and glared at him. I was so fucking pissed at him and every word that came out of his mouth only made it worse. I wanted to go slap him across the face. I guess I made up my mind about how I felt about him. He was such an asshole. I took a deep breath and shook my head at him. I looked down at the floor and closed my eyes, “Maybe you should just leave.”

He was quiet for a little while and then chuckled awkwardly.

I quickly looked up at a felt his warm hand on the side of my face. I looked up into his amazing green eyes they stared right back into my eyes.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine, holding my head in his hand. He back me up to the door and kissed my passionately.

I don’t exactly know what just happened, but I kissed him back just as passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled down towards me more.

I thought that I knew how I felt about him but apparently I didn’t.