My Jealousy and Your Truth

“Welcome to Indianapolis, boys! EGYPTIAN ROOM, HERE WE COME!” Dylan shouted as we were all just waking up.

“Calm down, babe,” Jorel said, rubbing his eyes of the sand in the corners.

“I can’t help it. I’m actually really excited about this.”

“Why?” George asked.

“I can’t wait to see the crowd! I hope it’s bigger than it was in Fort Wayne and Evansville. Those were way smaller crowds than normal.”

“True, good point. I heard only REALLY popular bands get to perform in the Egyptian Room,” George responded.

“Really?” I asked, not really caring. I loved performing everywhere. I go. LOL.

“I don’t know, it’s just something I heard,” George replied as I sat down next to him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and snuggled up to him.

“Why is it called the Egyptian Room?” Matt asked as he stepped through the curtain.

My heart did a small flip, nothing I couldn’t catch my breath over. “How should I know? I’ve never considered it actually...”

“None of us have. I doubt any of us cares as long as we get to perform. Right?” Danny asked as he stepped through the curtain after Matt.

He got a series of ‘hell yeah’s, ‘yep’s, and ‘of course’s. He sat down, apparently satisfied. Matt sat next to him. My heart did a flip again, a little more extravagant. But nothing I couldn’t handle.

“So,” Dylan started as he sat down. Jorel scooted closer, then copied me. “We got the whole day to fuck around. What we gonna do?”

“Go to a sex store,” came Jorel’s reponse.

“Aaaaand?” Dylan enunciated.

“Buy some bars for our bunks, then some handcuffs, and then I’ll set it up, THEN cuff you to to the bars.”

Dylan waited a few seconds. Then he broke out that smile he reserved for Jorel and Jorel only. “Kinky.”

“VERY kinky.”

They began laughing, that kind of laugh that was “it’s a private joke: you won’t understand” kind of laugh.

I admire their bravery. No one else had thought(or had courage) to bring sexual inplements into the bedroom. I mean, we considered it, sure, but never brought it to ANYone’s attention. Not even the partner.

“So you guys going or what?”

I looked up at George with shock written all over my face. “What?”

He looked at me, with THAT look. “Why not?”

I was scared. Not because of what George was implying, not because this was a major step in our relationship, not because he brought it up in everyone’s company, and not even that Matt was kinda cuddling with Danny. I wasn’t scared for the most obvious reasons.

I was scared because that look, THAT look, the look George only shows me, the look that gets me horny & naked, the look that reveals more I could ever admit, the look that meant so much George couldn’t even understand, THAT look... THAT look... THAT look...

It didn’t do anything... not a thing. Nothing.

~~~~~~~~~One Hour Before The Show~~~~~~~~~

My whole body was shaking. Not because of nerves. Not because the crowd was fucking huge. Not because... of anything obvious, really. Well, maybe it was obvious, but I hid it better than I should.

Matt and Danny were missing. AWOL.

I wasn’t even nervous that they might miss the show. Not even they might have got mannapped. Not even that they could be dead.

I was nervous of what they might be doing together.

What could they be doing? What are they doing? Are they together? Are they within touching distance? ARE they touching? Are they locking lips? Are they stripping? Are they- NO! Stop it, Jordan. You are NOT worried. Not nervous. Not anything. You’re detached. ‘Kay? Detached. DE... TACHED.

I took a deep breath. They’ll show up. Unharmed. Unfazed. Untouched. Not a single hair out of place. NOT covered in each others cum. NOT in love. Definitely NOT in love. Not hand-in-hand. Not whispering in each others ears. NOT anything. Just out to get food. That’s it. No more, no less. I hope.

“You all right, Jordan?”

My head shot up. “Huh?”

“I said, are you all right?” Dylan repeated.

“I don’t know anymore.”

“You’ve been acting weird since… a few months ago. Make that last month.”

“Since you caught Randi cheating on you.”

Everyone just stared at George. We had an agreement: no mentions of that.

“George!” Jorel said as he slapped George’s upper arm.

“Well there’s no point in not talking about it. We should just talk about it and get it out the way.”

“We promised-”

“Guys! Calm down, it’s all right. We should talk about it. I think it would help. Seriously,” I added after everyone’s ‘are you sure?’ stare.

“Well, I mean, if you want…” Jorel stated, unsure.

“Yes, I do.”

Everyone sat down and got ready for my tantrum that was brewing under my calm exterior.

I just finished my story about Randi when Danny and Matt walked in.

With food.

Like, McDonald’s. Thank God. Nothing happened. See, Jordan? You were over-exaggerating. Everything will be just fine. Just fine.

We ate the food and chatted everybody else up. I love McDonald’s. Not even gonna lie. Well, I did until I noticed something… odd.

“Danny, why are your pants unzipped?”

Danny looked down. His expression was priceless. “Uh… oops?”

Everyone burst out laughing. While everyone was distracted, Danny pulled his zipper up. Suddenly, he got up and headed toward the bathroom. I just kept laughing.

When the laughing died down is when I discovered Matt was missing. I didn’t say anything; he probably got up to throw away his food. So I just talked to everyone else. When Jay got up to grab the big picture of water and cups, I realized we needed to get drunk.

The water was for the food, so it would go down easier. Then we could start drinking without fear that we might throw up the contents of our stomachs. When I got my Red Solo cup, I drank the clear liquid slowly. After the water went down, then the Cokes came out. Slowly we started integrating low-percent liquors. If we drank hard liquors this early, we’d start trippin’ balls. And when Hollywood Undead starts trippin’ balls, get out the way.

I had just started my Jagerbomb when Matt and Danny walked out of the bathroom. Together. Fuck.

“What’d we miss?” Danny asked.

“Zee passing of zee alcohol,” Jay said in a horrible French-slash-Dracula impression.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Danny whisper in Matt's ear. Matt nodded. Danny patted him on the back twice and said something else, which made Matt laugh. My anger festered again.

Wait, why am I feeling anger? Why do I even care? It's none of my business. But... every time I thought about it, I clutched my fists and swallowed my feelings. But what were these feelings?

That's what I didn't get. I mean, I know it's anger, that's pretty obvious, but why? It couldn't be at Danny, or Matt. Or was it, and was I to dumb to take notice?

Someone tapped my left shoulder. “You ready, Charlie?” I heard Dylan ask.

I turned. “Yeah, man, like always.”

He smiled a confident smile and we did the HU hand shake. But even as I got my bandana situated, my eyes averted to Matt and Danny. They were closer than normal, closer than needed, and my anger did a real surge. Somehow I knew no matter what I did, something bad was about to happen.