Status: Chaptered (In-Progress)
Last Hope
Strained Hope
“When you lose someone, it is like they leave behind a hole in your life that you cannot fill. You feel like you’re never going to be the same. In a way, you’re not; whenever someone mentions their name, a sadness clouds your heart, no matter how long they’ve been gone, you still wish they could be here. Some days, you feel as raw about them as the first day they went. You find yourself staring at places they have been, trying to recall what it was like when they were here, trying to picture them there. I thought the saying ‘you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone’ was stupid, but it is so true, losing someone shows you how much they meant to you; even if you thought you knew; you didn’t, they mean so much more when you realise that you can’t see them, or talk to them anymore; when you can’t go to the place they always were and see them there, smiling at you. It’s hard enough to lose someone without knowing you’re the reason they’re gone”
Jack rested his hand on Alex’s face, he ran his thumb across his cheek; Alex leaned into his touch.
“You… you really think you’re the reason?” Jack said quietly, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“Yeah… I was her best friend, I lover her like a sister, how could I not have realised something was wrong? That not only was she sad, she was depressed? That she wanted to end her life? If I…” a sob broke from his throat and fresh tears rushed down his face, he covered his mouth as a broken sound escaped his mouth. ” If I had noticed, I could of done something, she would still be here” His head fell down into his hands, he brought his knees up to his face.
Jack reached out and touched Alex’s knee but Alex flinched away; turning his body sideways, facing away from Jack.
“I don’t deserve this! I let her die Jack! I didn’t try hard enough to keep her here! How can you still be this nice to me? How are you able to look at me?” Alex finished quietly; his wide, sad eyes looking up into Jack’s.
Jack sighed and closed his eyes, not wanting to see the hurt in Alex’s.
Jack rested his hand on Alex’s face, he ran his thumb across his cheek; Alex leaned into his touch.
“You… you really think you’re the reason?” Jack said quietly, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“Yeah… I was her best friend, I lover her like a sister, how could I not have realised something was wrong? That not only was she sad, she was depressed? That she wanted to end her life? If I…” a sob broke from his throat and fresh tears rushed down his face, he covered his mouth as a broken sound escaped his mouth. ” If I had noticed, I could of done something, she would still be here” His head fell down into his hands, he brought his knees up to his face.
Jack reached out and touched Alex’s knee but Alex flinched away; turning his body sideways, facing away from Jack.
“I don’t deserve this! I let her die Jack! I didn’t try hard enough to keep her here! How can you still be this nice to me? How are you able to look at me?” Alex finished quietly; his wide, sad eyes looking up into Jack’s.
Jack sighed and closed his eyes, not wanting to see the hurt in Alex’s.
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I know it's really short, but I just haven't had time to write. I'll try and update another flashback chapter soon to make up for it!Also, I am in no way saying that if a friend of yours has committed suicide, that you are at all to blame, or that you haven't done enough to prevent it. I just made him feel this way for the purpose of the story.