The Reason

I can hear sob in here , I still close my eyes , but I didn't sleep , because now is the time , my time to be on the verge of death, somehow I can survive or not, I hope I can meet with Ally today, and maybe it was time she knew the truth, I know this is the hardest part of what I do, and now I hear sobbing again, I tried to move a little and I could only feel the pain in my head, I groaned in pain as I tried to talk and open up my eyes .

" Mom ? " I said while I holding the pain in my head .

" I'm not your Mom , IDIOT ! " the voice spoke with a sob now I try to open my eyes and see who is standing there, and now I realized who had spoken .

" Ally ? " I can see her although my sight is blur , but I can still recognize her , I smile when I see she walk towards me .

" Hi .. " I greeted her with a my voice that was hoarse , but something different with her , she just look Cry .

" YOU IDIOT ! " she almost screaming when she said that , now I can see her eyes was filled tears now , and she look angry with me .

" I 'm s ..sorry .. " I tried to apologize to her .

" why you didn't tell me ?! " I just can look into her eyes now , I can see that she has been waiting for so long and she just beeing tired now .

" I try to .. "

" you must tell me the night when we meet in the park , you make me confused you know ?! " I really feel bad now , the girl I love now upset , if I do not like this I would have kissed her now .

" Ally .. "

" you know here , you sick you didn't even tell me ? how .. can you know how depress I am .. " she just keep talking .

" Ally .. "

" you never care about me ! you scared me ! I never can think about anything else except you .. "

" Ally .. "

" you know I'm worried about you ! " the sentence was actually made ​​me ache , I have made my soulmate feel depress .

" Ally .. I'm sorry .. " my voice sounded miserably now, I do not know what else to say other than I'm sorry, and I love her but I could never be happy she is, because I know this is the hardest part .

" You shouldn't need to act like that time when meet me at the park If I'll never know the truth , beside who I am in the end ? I'm nobody ? " my heart trembled as she said that, I really felt very guilty for what I did, she was really upset .

" you precious to me .. " I try to said the truth , she shook her head , she look not believe that .

" what happend to you exactly ? " she look me with wonder sight .

" astrocytoma " I can see her tears fell down now , and I can feel mine too .

" okay .. " she wiped her tears away .

" I know .. look like bullshit ! I'm such Idiot , did you say that I'm precious ? " she shook her head .

" sorry if I never kiss you to prove that " I look at her , the tears won't stop fall down from her eyes , I really want wiped that .

" if I kiss you , you won't feel anything , you just gonna feel Death inside of it " I still keep looking at her , she just still look at me too .

" Bullshit ! " she walk towards me and then she kiss my pale lips I was feel suprise when she do that , she hold my face when she kiss me .

I can feel her deep breathe when she pulled away , but still close enough in my face .

" I didn't feel death , but I just can feel there is someone who precious to me too " I gasp when she said that , I look her exact into her eyes , I touch her cheek with my cold hand , she close her eyes when I do that , I pulled gently her face into mine and I kiss her lips over .. over and over again , she was right , there's no death there , but something precious that you have found , and I have found it , it was her , Ally , my soulmate .

" will you promise me something ? " I asked her as I kissed her forehead , she just nodded .

" keep smile for me ? " I can see her eyes still closed , but she nodded .

" I Love You .. " I whisper into her ear , she open her eyes , and stared at me , I look at her eyes , she suddenly climbed to my bed and I just let it happend as I saw she lay next to me .

I let my hand stroke gently her hair and pull her body closer to me , and I let it just happend , it's all I want , hold my girl in my arm , tell her I love her , I could see her eyes now closed , I gently rubbed her cheek, I stare her when she was asleep, I smiling , today I know how much I love this girl , maybe this is my only chance to say that I love her, and this is where I am now , hold her as I expected, I closed my eyes slowly, I can now feel more calm .