The Reason

I feel horrible when I have pass this session , chemo wasn't feel right , I feel like hell when I'm on it , it hurt so bad , I almost to gave up but the one thing that came to my mind was my soulmate , Ally .

I can imagine her face right now , I remember her face when she out of her mind , she think of something or remember something , I almost want to laugh when I saw her face like that , I remember her face when she confused , feel wonder of something , and I remember her face when she tried to hide something , I also can feel when she look at me , I don't know if she will feel that or not but when I saw her , I really want to smile .

I smile when I remember about her , as I try to close my eyes to get some sleep , and I hope I get dreaming about her , but when I just want to fall asleep , I hear the door is open .

" Hi ! " I saw Grace was standing there , I just give her a little smile .

" how's your feeling ? " she asked as she walk towards me .

" Horrible " I answer that with my sleepy-voice , she just smile at me .

" how's she ?" the person I can trust now is Grace , I can know everthing about Ally now from her .

" she feel anxiety " as Grace told me , I feel so bad with Ally , she must be felt sad now .

" is she .. ? " Grace nooded her head .

" she completely quite now " I groan , still in my sleepy voice , I just imagine her face now , god ! I feel I want to run away and kiss her now .

I feel Grace's hand stroking my hair , I just frowned when she done that .

" your hair fall out now " she said as I saw a few strands of my hair still attached in her hands , I just give her my little laugh .

" she must know the truth Patrick " I nooded slowly , Grace just stared at me , waiting for me to finish my word .

" she will Grace .. " I know I must tell her the truth but she she is precious for me , and the hardest part is leaving her .

Grace took a deep breathe , I know that she's almost tired to do this but this is the only way I can keep looking at her although I'm not there , I really miss her now .

" I have to go .. " I saw Grace walk away .

" Gracie .. " I called her when she will open the door , she turn away to see me now .

" yes ? " she look at me , and I took a deep breathe .

" would you like to say to her , that everything's is gonna be okay? " I told her , she frowned for awhile .

" and if she ask about you ? " she asked me , I just try to move a little and I feel little sore in my head as I try to answer her .

" tell her I'm fine " I give her smile on my pale face , Damn ! how weak I am now ?!

" okay " she nooded , and push the door out .

" thank you , Gracie " she nooded and smile at me before close the door .

Now I'm alone here , I thinking about Ally one more time , it must be beautiful now if I could be with her now , I smile and I close my eyes .