You Never Really Can Fix a Heart

**3 and a half months later…April 2010**
I stood looking at my reflection in my full length mirror. I was wearing a tight black and peach, lacy floral print dress that has quarter length sleeves and is backless. My dyed blonde hair cascaded over my shoulders in lose wavy curls. I had a thin layer of black eyeliner and gold eye shadow and I had pink lips. I wanted to feel sexy as I appeared in the mirror but there’s a voice in my head that told me I am not pretty and I feel gross. I sighed and closed my closet door, pushing away my negative thoughts.

It’s my twenty first birthday and I’m having a huge bash at some club. I’m not really into the club scene but you only turn twenty one once, right? Might as well go out with a bang. Plus the past couple years of my life have been pure hell, so I just want to let loose and have some fun. I grabbed my clutch and jacket and went downstairs where I was greeted by my best friend and roommate, Rachel, or just Rae.

“Damn girl, you’re one sexy bitch.” She exclaimed. She was wearing a cream colored dress that was ruffled at the bottom, had spaghetti straps and a gold sash. Of course she looked gorgeous especially with her fiery red hair straightened.

“Look who’s talking. I thought this was my party, but you’re going to be the most gorgeous girl there.” I gushed.

“We’re both are going to turn heads so I know it’ll be a successful night.” She winked at me playfully. Much like me, Rae has had a bad past with relationships so she sticks to hook ups. Jack is her main hook up though, but he is on tour a lot so she has needs to be met. He really doesn’t give a fuck though seeing how we all know he hooks up with skanks while on tour.

I rolled my eyes, “easy for you to say, Jack will be there. I’m tempted to say you have to give him up for the night since it’s my birthday.”

“Psh, yeah right Jack is mine! And Zack with be there, have sex with him.” She pointed out.

“One, I had Jack first. You just like to ignore the fact that I lost my virginity to him.” She glared at me. “And Zack has made it clear that he won’t have sex with me.” I whined. I can’t lie, Zack is uber sexy. Just thinking about his abs makes my lady parts tingle. But as much as I joke with him about wanting to have sex with him, I don’t think I could. Not that I think he’d be bad in bed, but like he always says, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I would hate for us having sex somehow ruins thirteen years of friendship.

“Tell him it’s your birthday and you are entitled to birthday sex.” She said matter of factly. “I’m sure he can get over his ‘we are best friends we can’t have sex’ shit for one night. It could be your birthday present, since we all know that you’ve fantasied about having sex with him for years. If that doesn’t work you can always get him shitfaced and rape him.”

I laughed loudly at her bluntness. That is exactly why I love that girl; she has no filter and always makes me laugh. There was a honk outside, signaling that our cab was here. I quickly put on my jacket and said by to the pups. After grabbing our clutches and locking up the house we got into the cab and told him where to go. On the ride to the club, I got a text from Zack saying him and Jack might be late because Jack was taking forever with his hair. I swear that guy is worse than a girl sometimes.

Once at the club we went straight to the bar to get a drink. When we got our drinks I looked around and spotted my other best friend, Ali, in the corner with her boyfriend, Andy. She looked a bit uncomfortable; she’s not into this scene either. I went over to them and said hi. “Oh my god! You’re look gorgeous!” she squealed as she got up to hug me.

“Happy Birthday, Lauren.” Andy greeted me. He was a nice guy, and a bit scared of me since I told him if he hurt Ali that I would kill him.

“Thanks to the both of you.” I smiled.

Rae came over to e and looked wearily. “Are you sure her being here is a good idea?” she whispered in my ear. You see Ali is a huge All Time Low fan and I have never told her that I am friends with Zack and Jack. I’ve only known the girl for about a year and I really don’t want her going fan girl crazy on me. Plus I really didn’t want to tell her in the beginning and have her only be my friend because I know the boys, I don’t have many true friends and I wanted to protect myself. Especially after my last debacle with close friends.

“I couldn’t tell either of them to not come. The boys have been waiting for the day I can legally drink with them. And Ali is my friend so what was I supposed to do? Say hey, I love you but you can’t come to my birthday party?” I explained.

“Oh well, at least this will be a fun party.” She smirked.

I felt someone jump on my back so I turned and saw my older sister standing there with a huge smile on her face. She’s four years older than me, but you wouldn’t know that because she’s a very spunky person. “Happy Birthday, little sister! I can’t believe you can buy your own alcohol legally now!” she said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes at her comment because I’ve been getting alcohol on my own since I was sixteen with a fake ID. “Thanks Briana.” I hugged her. Rae came over with a round of shots for everyone. We took the shots and started to dance and mingle with one another. I was just starting to have fun when all of the sudden Ali’s eyes got wide causing all of us to turn around. Jack was running toward us and Zack was trailing close behind. Jack swooped me up in his arms and twirled me around. Thankfully Rae grabbed my drink before it could be spilled. “Happy Birthday and please don’t kill me.” he said after he put me down. I gave him a confused look then looked over at Zack who was giving me an apologetic look.

“What the hell did you guys do?” I glared at them.

“Remember that I love you very much.” Zack tried to lighten the mood but I just continued to glare at him. “Alex tagged along. We didn’t know what to tell him to get him to stay in LA.”

“We’re really sorry and got you the best birthday presents ever.” Jack said looking really sorry.

“I better get amazing birthday sex.” I groaned as I glared at Zack. “And I’m not drunk enough to deal with Alex.” With that I walked away and toward the bar.

“Two shots of Patron please.” I told the bartender. He nodded then sat two shot glasses in front of me and filled them up. I knocked them back quickly; hoping that it would get me buzzed enough to deal with Alex.

“Looks like I finally looked in the right place.” I heard Alex’s voice beside me. I looked over to see him leaning up against the bar, smirking at me.

“Yay me.” I replied sarcastically.

“What’s a gorgeous girl doing at the bar alone?” he was still smirking at me. I motioned for the bartender to give me two more shots. I needed more alcohol to deal with him.

“Who said I am alone?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Touché.” He nodded. “So are you here for this party or just a night out?”

“The party.” I shrugged.

“You know the guy?” he asked. Obviously the boys didn’t tell him the party was for a girl.

“Who said the party was for a guy? And I know who the party is for and I am pretty sure you weren’t invited.” I said flatly as the bartender filled the shot glasses again. I knocked one of them back.

“I guess I assumed it was a guy since I know all the girls that my friends know.” He shrugged. “Are you ever going to tell me how you know me, or even your name?”

“You know what they say about assuming shit right?” I mused.

“True, I apologize.” I sighed. “So are you going to tell me? Because I did what you said and looked through all of my yearbooks and I never found you.”

“See again with the assuming.” I giggled. “I never said check your yearbooks, I just said check some yearbooks. I didn’t go to Dulaney, I went to Towson.”

“So you know me because of Zack?” he questioned.

I shrugged, “basically.”

“How come I’ve never seen you around then?” he asked curiously.

“Because I don’t want to be hounded by your fans. Plus I really don’t like you so I stayed away so I wouldn’t hurt you.” I said annoyed then drank my other shot. I was really feeling my buzz now.

“You don’t know me so how can you not like me?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe one day you’ll remember why I hate you. If not then maybe one day I’ll tell you, but today is obviously not that day.” I told him then turned to walk away but he grabbed my elbow and turned me around.

“Why are you such a bitch to me?” he snapped. I wanted so bad to punch him in the face, but the tension was interrupted when a familiar voice erupted.

“Finally I found you dude.” Jack said clasping a hand on Alex’s shoulder. He was taken back by Alex’s expression, that’s when he noticed me and his eyes widened. I’m not sure if it’s because he didn’t expect to see me or was nervous because I had been alone with his best friend and he knows why I hated Alex. “Lo!” he yelled as he gave me a hug and pecked my lips. The kiss caught Alex off guard.

“I thought you were single dude? Why are you kissing her? And why does she hate me?” Alex ranted. I had hoped that I would be able to avoid any confrontation with Alex, but I guess once again I am very wrong. So much for a kick ass birthday.

“I am single, I kissed her because she’s one of my best friends and we just do that for some strange reason and she hates you because you’re a big fat idiot.” Jack explained simply. It was true though, Jack kissed me a lot but in a friendly way. Zack did sometimes too. It’s just the way we’ve always been. It’s never been some big make out kind of kiss, just a simple peck on the lips.

“I don’t even know her! So how am I an idiot?” Alex exasperated.

“You do know me and like I said maybe one day you will remember. Until then mind your own damn business. I think you’re an asshole and that’s all you need to know.” I yelled at him.

“Don’t do this, Lo.” Jack whispered in my ear so I would calm down.

“What the hell did I ever do to you because I don’t fucking remember meeting you!” Alex yelled at me. I was about to defend myself when Zack appeared in between me and Alex. “Don’t you ever yell at her again do you hear me?” Zack got in Alex’s face.

“She’s the one over here telling me that I am an ass.” Alex snapped at Zack.

Zack’s fists balled up at his sides, I could see the veins popping out on his arms. I really didn’t want them to fight, because Zack would feel horribly tomorrow. I grabbed Zack’s arm and rubbed his back, “Don’t fight.” I told him calmly. Zack looked at me and his expression softened. He shot Alex a glare, “I don’t ever want to see you talking to her again. I won’t let you hurt her again, because I swear if you do, you will be looking for a new bassist.”

Jack and Alex’s eyes widened in shock, “You don’t mean that.” Jack said.

“You know damn well that I do.” Zack retorted. Jack gulped; he knows that Zack is serious. He also knows that Zack has tried to quit the band before and I was the one who convinced him otherwise. Zack would do anything to protect me and Rae, even giving up the one thing he loves the most.

“You would really quit the band over some girl that I don’t even know? And what do you mean again? When have I ever hurt her a first time?” Alex yelled at Zack with a perplexed look on his face.

“Zack, don’t do this, please.” I begged him. “You love this band so don’t go doing anything irrational. And I won’t let him hurt me, I am not that girl I used to be, I am capable of taking care of myself. I won’t let what happened before to happen again.”

“What’s going on here?” Rae asked coming out of nowhere with Briana by her side.

“Nothing lets just get back to Ali so I can explain that I know these losers,” I pointed to Jack and Zack but keeping my grip on Zack, “so we can calm her hustler nerves.”

“Okay and we need to scope out some hotties, since Zack won’t fuck you.” Rae said teasingly as she interlocked her arm with my free arm.

“I’ll do it!” Jack volunteered and Rae glared at him. “You never let me do anything fun.” He pouted. I’m not exactly sure why she won’t let me have sex with Jack, not saying that I would again. She knows he hooks up with other girls so why worried about me and him? I guess it’s the best friend code.

“What are you, some kind of whore?” Alex muttered, but we all heard. Zack tensed up beside me but I tightened my grip on him, the last thing we need is a brawl breaking out.

Briana laughed loudly, “Calling the kettle black are we? We all know about your reputation of sleeping around so don’t you fucking dare stand there and call my sister a whore. Especially when she isn’t one, she’s twice the person you’ll ever be.” Briana can be a very intimidating person; I could tell that Alex was scared of her. He just stood there staring at her but saying nothing.

“Why are you such an asshole?” Rae snapped at Alex.

“Your friend was being a bitch to me and I have no idea why, I was trying to be nice to her.” He exasperated.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be mean to people you just meet.” Rae pointed out.

“Did you not understand me? She was mean to me, not the other way around.” Alex said in a ‘duh’ tone.

“And you misunderstood me. Maybe she was mean to you, because you’ve met before and you were mean to her.” Rae jabbed her finger into Alex’s chest. He went to say something but we all just turned to leave. I heard Jack tell Alex to stop being a dick and leave, but I didn’t wait to see if he did or not.

When we got back to the table Ali was still sitting there with this shocked look on her face. “Hey Ali, I’d like you to meet Zack and Jack, though I know you already know who they are.” I laughed, I’m assuming Alex left or is still at the bar since Jack was standing beside us.

“Why the hell haven’t you ever told me you knew them?” she yelled at me. I’m shocked at her reaction; I was expecting her to attack the boys.

“Sorry! I didn’t want you to attack my boys.” I laughed again. “Guys this is Ali and her boyfriend Andy.”

“It’s nice to me you both.” Zack said politely, but I could tell he was still upset over Alex.

“Hey.” Jack waved.

“I’m obviously a huge fan, and it’s really awesome to meet you. Whatever Lo has said is wrong, I’m not that crazy.” She glared playfully at me. “Where are Alex and Rian?”

“Alex we don’t speak of and I don’t know about Rian, I think he wanted to hang out with his girlfriend.” I shrugged. Ali didn’t push the issue she just nodded.

We spent the next few hours talking, dancing and getting wasted. Even though I didn’t find a hottie to hook up with, it was a pretty epic birthday aside from the Alex confrontation. I tried to get drunk Zack to have sex, but even wasted he wouldn’t. Now I am just sitting on my bed, still drunk, and debating on if I want to open my presents or not. I stumbled downstairs to get some water when Tarzan and Max started growling at the front door. “Shush boys.” I scolded them quietly since Zack was passed out on the couch. I opened the door and was shocked to see who was standing there.

“Happy Birthday.” The person said and I gulped. How did he find me?