Hold On Till May

"What do you want for breakfast baby? Whatever you want." Ash smiled as he caresses my skin with his lips, placing soft kisses down my neck. I let out a soft and content sigh as I leaned into him. I was everything to him, he treats me so sweetly and makes my life feel like heaven. But I forgot our anniversary.

"I'm fine with getting doughnuts on the way out. Those heart shaped ones from Dunkin that taste like cherries." I smiled up at him. The only Dunkin in town was, luckily for me, in the mall. And they custom make those doughnuts, so it takes 10 minutes. I can sneak and buy Ash a present and he'll never notice.

"If you want those then we'll have to leave early." He complained.

"I thought it was whatever I wanted." I laughed looking up at him.

"I know. Damn it all. I especially can't say no to you when you're giving me those damn puppy dog eyes. You and Ashlynn I swear." He kissed my nose softly and I smiled down at me.

"Shower so we can go." I leaned off of him so he could get up.

"Aren't you coming with? I thought we could, you know, fool around?" He nibbled at my neck, leaving a red mark. Please dear lord let it turn into a hickey.

"Mmm. Baby I'd love to, but I need to wrap your present." I winked at him. A smile stretched across his face. He pressed his lips to mine one more time before he got up and disappeared into the bathroom.

I was fucked. Completely and brutally fucked if Ash finds out I forgot. I got up from the bed, ran downstairs and locked myself in our practice room. I could only think of one person who could help me right now so I dialed his number quickly.

"Hello?" I heard a groggy voice on the phone.

"Thank fucking God. Chris! Wake up I am in deep shit and I need your help!!" I panicked in the phone. Over the past few years I've made friends with the lead singer of Motionless In White Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli. We've gotten close quick and he's usually who I go to when I don't want Ash to find stuff out.

"What the hell Andy? What's wrong and why did you call me at... 4:30 in the morning?" He yawned.

"Because I forgot about my wedding anniversary! That's why!" I started pacing the room. "I haven't bought Ash a present, I've barely got a plan and I need help. Please?!" I begged. He let out another yawn and sighed lightly.

"What's your plan right now?" He asked.

"Well we're going to the mall for breakfast, I was gonna sneak off and buy him a present, but I don't know what to get him." I slowly opened the door to listen for Ash. He was still in the shower, but I didn't have much time.

"Ok. Here's what you do, bring a bag with you, either a backpack or a messengers bag. Something you can hide the gift in. Tell him you're gonna go pee, run to Macy's, buy him cologne, go to Spencer's, joke card and a sexy gift, then the Hallmark store for a nice bag. Wrap it all when you know he's not looking. Got it?" He spoke fast, but I understood.

"How many times have you forgotten your anniversary Chris? You're an expert on this." I laughed.

"If I admitted it while Kuza's laying next to me he won't hesitate to cut my balls off. Its a secret. I gotta go before he wakes up. Good luck buddy. Bye."

I hung up the phone and walked quickly back upstairs. Ash was still in the bathroom, but the water was off.

"Baby are you even in here?" He poked his head out and I ducked into the closet and quickly grabbed clothes.

"Sorry. I was in the closet looking for... our um. Luggage. Yeah. Luggage." I smiled at him trying not to seem suspicious. He raised an eyebrow at me and walked out of the bathroom naked.

"You know, you're a terrible liar. Especially when put under pressure." He started getting closer and closer to me, pushing me lightly against the wall. I tried to escape but he trapped me with his arms.

"W-what do you mean?" I panicked. He knows. Oh my fucking god he knows! I'm beyond fucked now.

"Well, we took our luggage out of the closet yesterday, and they're packed. Downstairs." He leaned closer to me.

"Oh yeah. I uh forgot. That's it." I let out a nervous laugh. He moved closer to me, ghosting his lips over mine.

"Do you think I like being lied to Andrew? Huh?" If I got any closer to the wall I was sure I would go through it. I could feel my pulse radiating through me. "Answer me." He demanded.

"N-no?" I felt so small right then, despite being taller than him. He leaned my head to the side, exposing my neck, and sunk his teeth into me. I held back a moan as he licked the fresh marks he made.

"That's right. Now. Tell me the truth. What were you doing?" He moved my head back so I was facings him, but I kept my eyes tight shut. "Look at me." I opened my eyes and he was staring at me, his eyes full of lust and determination.

"I was just getting clothes." It wasn't completely a lie. I saw one of his hands fall, then slip into my pajamas, stroking me softly. I couldn't take the sexual torture. I let my head fall back as a moan escaped my mouth.

"You're still lying to me." He whispered hotly into my ear.

"I'm not lying baby I promise." He bit my ear.

"Shut up liar." He pulled down my pajamas and my boxers, pulling up my leg. I wrapped my legs around him for fear of what would happen if he thought I didn’t get the hint. It took us a second to balance like that, but when we were steady I felt him slide the head of his dick into me slowly. “Tell me the truth and this will feel good for you.” I was clenching my muscles around him. Mostly scared he'd drop me, but also terrified of what he's gonna do to me.

Ash and I have both suffered through sexual abuse at the start of our relationship. It doesn’t really hurt much talking or thinking about it for me, but sometimes when Ash is slightly upset, he blanks and does things to me that reminds me of it. I think it has something to do with his trauma. We’ve never gotten therapy for it, so I’ve always thought he was suffering from something a little deeper.

“Baby please, snap out of it. You’re not yourself right now.” I tried to escape his grasp but he was too strong for me. He thrusted all the way in me, and it hurt. I let out a scream of pain and could feel a tear running down my face. He started thrusting into me slowly, I started crying. This isn't my Ash, my baby, the one I've been married to lovingly for years.

I couldn't take this. I raised my hand and slapped Ash as hard as I could. He pulled out and almost dropped me, grabbing his face as the pain set in. I looked at him scared, and slowly pulled up my pajama pants. He looked at me shocked and scared.

“A-andy I...” Tears started welling up in his eyes. He reached for me, trying to hug me but I pushed him away, grabbing my clothes and locking myself in the bathroom. “I’m sorry baby. I’ll wait downstairs for you.” I started the hot water in the shower and just stood there. I haven’t felt this numb in a long time. It radiated through me until I broke out into sobs and sunk to my knees. I couldn’t stop them, they just came until eventually my tears just stopped. It wasn’t his fault he was doing this. We just needed to get him some help.

I took my time getting ready, doing my hair and makeup perfectly. I grabbed my extra bag and walked down stairs. I saw Ash sitting on the couch in the living room, curled up and crying. It hurt me to see him like this. I walked over to him and sat down slowly, wrapping my arms around him. He was violently shaking, his sobs tearing through him as he was trying to keep quiet. I shushed him a bit, moving his arms so I could sit in his lap, letting him wrap his arms around me.

“I’m so sorry. I... I don’t know what came over me.” I wiped away his tears and kissed his cheek softly.

“It’s OK. We all make mistakes. Maybe now you’ll consider us getting therapy now.” I’ve talked to him about it, but he’s always said no because we had to take care of the kids. Now that they’re out of the house, and with our tour being short, we could always at least look for someone.

“Yeah. Whatever. I don’t care about therapists, I just don’t ever want to hurt you ever again. I’m sorry. So so sorry baby. Please forgive me.” I kissed his lips softly, he kissed me back and I could feel myself smiling. This was my Ash, sweet and passionate, full of love and caring. Not some animal that hurts me every time he thinks something is wrong.

"I love you Ashes." I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my forehead on his.

"I love you too Bright Eyes." I felt my heart skip a beat. He hasn't called me that in a long time. I looked down at him and he flashed me the ever famous 'Purdy Smile'. The smile that made me weak in the knees, that filled me with a burning need for the man under me.

I stared at him for what felt like forever and then kissed him. I needed to feel him moving under me, I needed him as close to me as he could get. I straddled his lap and started grinding into him as hard and as fast as I could while I kissed down his neck.

"Baby, we don't have time for thi-" I cut him off, kissing his lips again.

"Just let me take control baby. I promise you'll love it." I felt him relax under my touch as his eyes glazed over in lust. I took off his vest and unbuttoned his shirt, kissing the skin I exposed. He let out a moan as I nibbled on his nipple. I bit down, the harder I pressed down on it, the louder he got. I unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down and best I could, taking his length into my mouth while I fondled his balls and stroked him softly. His nails ran through my hair as he pleaded me not to stop. I loved driving him crazy like this.

I let his dick go from my mouth with a loud pop. Slowly I teased and danced around for him a bit pulling down my pants and boxers. His hands ran slowly up my sides, begging me to let him fuck me. I pushed his hands slowly down my body and encouraged him to squeeze my ass. He gave it a firm squeeze before he leaned over and kissed it. I giggled and pushed him back on the couch.

“Top or bottom baby?” I climbed in his lap slowly, ghosting my lips over his.

“Ride me.” He pressed his lips to mine sloppily. He was so hard I felt his dick twitch when it came closer to my ass. I hadn’t realized that we were both holding our breaths as he slowly slid into me. I gripped tightly onto his shoulders while I enjoyed the full feeling he gave me. I started bouncing on him slowly, pressing my body as close to his as I could.

“Fuck. Outlaw. Take control.” He held my hips and started thrusting into me. My moans slowly turned into screams of pleasure. The sounds of our love making echoed around the room. His moans mixed with mine along with the rough slapping of skin. Ashley pushed me over onto the couch and fucked me deeper and harder against my prostate.

“Baby. I’m gonna cum. Oh god! Yes!” Ash leaned over and sunk his teeth into my shoulder.

“Cum for me Outlaw. Cum in my ass baby.” I screamed, gripping the couch. I was in pure heaven as my orgasm was about to hit. I wanted to cum with Ash, to feel that special moment with him. I held on until I could feel him release in me. I let go and came on the both of us. He pressed his lips softly to mine while he stroked me with one hand, helping me ride it out.

“That was amazing.” He kissed my forehead and stroked my cheek lovingly. I snuggled up to him and let out a content sigh. “We’re gonna be late though.”
“Don’t care. Let’s just lay here like this for a little while longer.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead again. This was love, this is what I want from him. To be treated like I’m the most important person in the world to him.