Heartaches Knocking on Her Door

The rain whipped against the car windows. A furious storm raged outside, determined to slow her escape. She couldn’t stay there, not with him, not after what had happened. She had to run and so Liv sped across the unfamiliar road. She was glad he couldn’t drive, would he have even come after me, she thought.

Struggling to see through the night and deluge of tears, she kept replaying their fight, their fight which had happened not ten minutes past. Adrenalin coursing through her, she shook with pain and anger.

She knew she would never forgive herself for what she said, the way she spat out those harsh words, screaming at him, shoving him. Liv’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. She loathed herself for what she had done; but what hurt the most – what made her cry out in pain – was the fact that it was she who drove him to do what he had done.

It was her fault, all her fault, and now they were over. She had loved him, still loved him, that otherworldly man, a man she had no right to have even dreamed of being with. You’re such a stupid fucking child, she yelled internally, you were nothing to him, just a fucking groupie, how could anyone like Ville Valo ever love you. The voice in her head consumed her attention.

But what had happened, every touch they had had, every smile shared, words whispered, they had felt real, but Liv quickly wiped those happy memories away as she remembered the look on his face as he told her… The way his brows furrowed, vibrant green eyes penetrated her gaze. The way his bare inked arms had clenched in anger and finally, how he looked away in pity as she had registered his words.

Liv suddenly realized she was violently shaking, she needed to pull over, but she was afraid. She needed to put more distance between them, so she continued along the unfamiliar road, headlights shining her path in the dark, rain and wind crashing against the car.

Liv wanted to scream, she wanted to dig her nails into her palms, crawl into a corner and never wake up.

Suddenly the headlights illuminated a blur of rain soaked animal that darted in front of the car. Liv veered the car to the right and abruptly she felt weightless. Her hair fell forward as the car began to tip over the edge of an embankment that must have been on the side of the road. All at once the car began to tumble down. Liv cried out as she felt broken glass slice into her face, arms, abdomen. She heard the ear splitting creaking of the metal of the car as it twisted and bent under its own weight, still rolling down the embankment. A tree caught its fall, and the wreckage of the car finally came to a stop on its side.

A dizziness enveloped Liv’s senses. She couldn’t move, she didn’t want to move. Hot liquid streamed down her face, into her eyes blurring her vision. Her body felt wrong, it felt broken, outside and in. Please, please can’t it just end, Liv thought. Her lids began to droop. Heart began to slow, and with her last conscious breath she imagined his face, a smirking half smile with the little laugh lines, arching nose, and those eyes, those piercing green eyes.