She's Not Afraid

The few days we had in London went by way too fast. Well, for me anyway. I spent most of my time editing pictures and videos. I finally finished Zayn’s Day In The Life and sent it over to Paul, but as soon as that was done I had to go to work on editing the videos for the Mixer Magnets page. The only time I gave myself a break was when Liam came over last night to hang out.

But now the mini holiday from tour was over, and the first of 3 shows in London were tonight. At least I still got to sleep in my bed for 2 more nights.

I was awoken to Jesy crawling in my bed that morning, “So you and Liam seemed pretty cozy on the couch when I came in last night.”

I rolled to face her, whipping sleep from my eyes, “Come off it,” I moaned.

“You were practically in his lap Jazmin Medina,” she scolded me with a smirk on her face. When she had come in last night, she found me and Liam in the dark living room watching Thor. I had my legs thrown across his lap and his body was leaned into mine. It was honestly the only way we could get comfortable on the couch. But I wasn’t in his lap.

“How was the last few days with Jordan?” I asked changing the subject.

She grimaced, “We decided to take a break again.” Again. It was like every time Jesy went on tour Jordan found a reason to break up or ‘take a break.’ He was such a bloody wanker. It annoyed the shit out of me that she always seemed to find a reason to take him back once she was home. I mean, if this was what love made you do- be used by the opposite sex, then I was glad I wasn’t into it.

“Well, now you can have tour rebounds. What’s more fun than that?”

The smile was back on her face, “I do enjoy the boys from other countries.”

“That’s the spirit!” I laughed.

She laughed with me, rolling onto her back to stretch, “Back to work today.” She sighed, “I’m going to miss my bed again soon, but I’m so excited for the rest of this tour.”

“Me too. Finally get to see all the places I’ve dreamed of seeing.”

She sent a huge smile my way, “I can’t wait for Australia and America! You’re going to love it there!”

“Can we please attempt to surf?” I’d always wanted to try.

“Of course we can! Louis and Liam have done it, we can probably talk them into going with us.” She smirked again, “Well I know you can talk Liam into it.”

“Sod off!”

*****

“Harry! I’m filming, put some clothes on!” I grumbled at the lad as he came traipsing through my shot in nothing but skin tight briefs. I was trying to shoot backstage/dressing room stuff for the next LM tour update, but here he is, walking into our dressing room half naked.

“What? I can’t be in the video?” he asked with a puppy dog look on his face.

“Not dressed like that, no.” I sighed as I watched the rest of the lads walk into the room. Zayn B-lining it to Perrie, of course. I turned my camera off and set it back in my bag.

Harry walked closer to me, “Hey, I’ve been working out the past few days off! I look good, just admit it.”

He was smirking devilishly at me and he was completely ignoring that personal space rule. I looked at him up and down and shrugged, “I’ve seen better.” There was a chorus of ‘oooooh’s’ at my comment.

His eyebrows rose, “Oh really?”

“Leave her alone Harry,” Liam said from across the room. I shot a smile at him, to let him know I could handle this. His face was in a tight, almost scowl.

“Did I stab your ego Haz? Sorry, didn’t mean too.”

He scoffed, the smirk still evident on his face, “Feel this,” he said grabbing my hand and placing it on his abs. “Admit it, you like what you see. And feel.”

I admit, the kid was ripped in all the right places, but I wasn’t about to cave that easily. I shrugged, “Be better if you didn’t have that giant butterfly covering it up.”

His eyes narrowed in a glare before he lunged at me. Before I knew it I was being thrown over his shoulder. He smacked my bum, “It’s a moth, thank you very much. Now admit you think I’m fit and I’ll let you down!”

I was now face to… ass with him. I started laughing, “Well I’ll give you some credit,” I slapped his ass, as hard as I could manage from my upside down state, “Your ass is rock hard there mate.”

“Thank you, but you still haven’t admitted you find me fit,” he laughed.

“Someone help get this wanker to let me down!” I arched my neck up as much as possible to look around at my friends- who were all having a laugh riot at his.

“Why aren’t we filming this?” Louis said amused, “We could so use this for our own tour update!”

“Aw let her down Harry,” Jade tried, though she was laughing.

I spotted Liam right as he walked out of the room without saying anything. He looked annoyed. Awesome. Some friend he is! Sometimes he could be such a bore, all work and no play.

“Harry!” I whined. I stopped arching my neck and was face to face with his bum again.

“Nope. You know what you have to do.”

I saw Jesy’s boots appear in my vision, “Just tell the twat he’s fit and he’ll let you down.”

“You’re a fit twat,” I hissed.

“Ah ah ah, that’s not what I told you to say!”

I sighed, “I think you’re fit Harry. There, happy?”

He tossed me back over his shoulder and placed me on my feet, “Wasn’t so hard now was it?”

I stuck my tongue at him like a child, “You’re still wanker.”

He shrugged, “I can live with that.” He leaned over and placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek, “You’re fit too babe,” he smirked before walking out of the dressing room.

“He’s such a pain in the ass.”

“You get used to it,” Niall offered.

“You lot need to get out now,” Leigh said, “I need to change!”

“I think I’ll stay for that actually,” Louis sassed. Leigh smacked him in the back of the head, “Ow! Fine we’re going! Zayn say goodbye to your women!”

*****

I didn’t go down to the photo pit this time around, I wanted to actually enjoy the show. I stayed side stage to watch my friends perform. It was fun jump around to my girls from the side. I even pulled Zayn over and forced him to bust a move or two. His dancing was a feeble attempt though.

Liam was acting weird. Again. Or well, maybe I was reading into it too much. When I caught him before Little Mix went on, he made some excuse about not having time to talk because he had to find Paul to find his in-ear (even though I could plainly see it resting against his shoulder) and took off and didn’t see him again until One Direction went on. It’s like ever since we got to London he’s been acting shady and it was a bit annoying.

Liam’s mood swing aside, the girls and I spend most of One Direction’s set dancing and singing along side stage. When the boys would run backstage for outfit change, instead of Liam and I messing with each other like we have during past shows, he completely avoided me. He was clearly in a mood.

After their set I headed back into the dressing room and messed around on my laptop as the girls showered and/or changed. About an hour after the show the lads filtered into our dressing room, “We’re going to a pub, who’s in?” Harry asked. Jesy and Perrie agreed instantly while Jade and Leigh declined to spend time with their boyfriends while they still had it.

“You in, Jaz?” Louis asked.

I looked up from my laptop and smiled in their direction, “I’m sitting this one out again. I’ve got editing to do.”

“Cars are here!” Paul said quickly popping into the doorway. At that we all started scrambling around to pack the rest of our things up.

I loaded my laptop back in my back and rearranged my cameras so everything would fit properly, “Hey.”

I looked up and there was Liam. “Hi,” I said before turning back to my bag.

“Wanna hang out tonight?”

I looked up at him startled, “Aren’t you avoiding me or something?” I saw him wince before I turned back to zip up my bag.

“I’m not, I’m just-”

“Tired?” I cut off. I stood up, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

He grabbed onto my arm to keep me from walking away, “I’m sorry, yeah? I’m just, I was just in a weird mood. It happens.”

I sighed, “Yeah, I get it.”

“Come over. I’ll make it up to you for being a jerk. I didn’t mean it.”

Despite my annoyance for his bipolar behavior, I couldn’t really stay mad at him. There really wasn’t anything to be mad at technically. Everyone get’s in off moods, “Can we get dessert or something?”
He smiled, “I’ve got stuff to make cake at my place.”

“Deal.”

*****

“You know, when you said you had stuff to make cake, I assumed you mean you had a box mix,” I said as I turned the mixer off. We just spent the last hour looking up chocolate cake recipes’ online and following it step by step. In that time we’d managed to make cake batter and a huge mess in the kitchen.

He took the bowl from me and started purring it into the pan. “You know what they say about assuming babe.”

“Yeah well,” I glanced around the kitchen, “A box would have been less messy.” We’d somehow managed to get sugar and flower on the counter. The flower bag was knocked over, and there were cake batter droplets here and there from when I lifted the mixer before turning it off.

When he bent over to put the cake in the oven, I tried real hard not to check out his bum. Well, not real hard… well I didn’t even try at all, I was blatantly staring at his ass. He turned around quicker than I expected and caught me, “Were you just checking me out?” There was a smirk across his face.

I cleared my throat and turned to the counter. “You wish,” I shot as I started to scoop the flower and sugar that was spilled into a pile. He laughed as I went to push my hair out of my face, “What?”

He shook his head walking over too me, “Oh nothing just, you know, you’re a terrible liar and you just got flower all up in your curls.” He reached up and pulled one of my black curls into my vision. It had sprinkles of white through the strand. He smiled before letting it go and watched as it sprang back into place.

He was so close again. Why did Liam have to keep putting me in this situation? Why’d he have to look at me like that, so close to my face. The urge to kiss him was back with full force. “Liam-”

“It’s on your face too,” he said. His hand came up and cradled my cheek and his thumb slowly moved across my cheekbone.

Was God testing me right now? Because I don’t know how good my willpower is! I took a shaky breath, “Liam,” I went to take a small step back, “What-”

“Don’t,” his other hand came up to grab my waist keeping me in place. “I know you feel it.”

“Feel what?” Playing dumb was the only thing I had going for me in this moment.

“This… pull between us. Don’t tell me you didn’t feel it at that club, or the other night? Don’t deny it, I told you you’re a terrible liar. I can read it on your face.”

I should really work on my poker face then. The fact that he claimed he could read me that easily worried me. What else could he see. He had gotten closer to me too. Our chests were almost touching. What was he doing? Thinking? I looked back up to ask, but his eyes weren’t on mine. They were looking down… at my lips. My heart beat sped up. We were definitely too close now. I put my hand on his chest to try and pause whatever was going on, “We should-”

“Just let it happen Jazmin.” God, would he ever let me finish a senten-

And then he leaned in and kissed me. Like really kissed me. Like not a side mouth kiss like the other day, not a peck- a real, open mouthed kiss. And oh my god could he use his lips! I was a goner, there was no hope for me. As soon as his lips were on mine I was practically putty in his hands!

I melted against him as his lips moved against mine, and within seconds mine were moving along with his. I moved my arms up around his neck and his fell to my waist, pulling me flush against him. God how was he so good at this? Why didn’t every guy know how to kiss like this?

Wait, hold on, we were kissing! How did this… why… oh jesus. I pulled away from his, amazing, lips, “Wait, Liam. What are we- we can’t… I-I don’t-”

“Calm down yeah?”

“What are we doing? You know I don’t do relationships.”

Amusement danced across his face, “Jaz? We’re kissing, I’m not asking you to marry me.”

I blushed, “I know but-”

“I’m attracted to you,” he murmured. Hey pal, could you not say things like that right after you kissed me like a freaking… kissing siren?! Especially when I’m trying to stop this from happening! “I’m just saying that… maybe we get this out of our system right now, tonight, and tomorrow we can go back to pretending we aren’t attracted to each other.”

I eyed him, “I don’t remember tell you I was attracted to you.”

He started to pull himself away from me, “Well if you don’t want-”

“Wait,” I grabbed onto his shoulder. “We’d just be getting it out of our system? It won’t fuck with our friendship? Just one night of making out and I won’t have to worry about hurting you?”

“I’m a big boy Jazmin, I think I can handle this.”

I eyed him for a moment, trying to read him. But I got nothing. He either had a fantastic poker face, or he was being honest, “You’re sure?”

Instead of a verbal answer, his lips just found their way back to mine. He wasted no time coaxing my lips open with his tongue. Oh wow, he was even better with that! If he was thing good a French kissing I wonder how good he was at- Stop right there Jazmin! Don’t even go there!
I pulled him closer to me and ran my fingers through his short hair. He growled into my mouth as I raked my fingers across his scalp. He turned and pressed me against the counter before lifting me up so I was sitting there and he was between my legs.

That’s where we were until the oven buzzer went off to signal that the forgotten cake was done. He begrudgingly pulled away from me to take it out and turn the oven off, but then was back to me.

We eventually moved to his couch, where we spent a long while at. He lost his shirt at one point, and wow. No offence to Harry, but I think Liam may have a better body than he did.

Eventually we found ourselves on his bed. My lips were raw, but I didn’t want to stop. Our hands were everywhere, my shirt was discarded and his skin felt so good against mine. My body was screaming at me to get the rest of our close off but I knew that would be a terrible idea. A terrible, delicious idea… I could feel that he was thinking the same thing. The way we were moving and grinding against each other it was hard not to know how he was… feeling.

“I think,” I panted. He was kissing down my neck and collarbone, “I think we need to stop. If we don’t I don’t think I’ll be able too.”

He sat up from my neck, “Okay.” He leaned down and kissed me again for a good minute before rolling off of me. We laid there next to each other trying to catch our breath. “It’s like, 4 in the morning.”

“It is?”

He looked over at me, “Yeah. I guess we lost track of time.”

I chuckled, “Guess so.”

“You’re staying then?”

I shrugged, “If you want me too. I may as well.”

“I don’t mind.” He sat up and turned his back to me a bit as he tried to… adjust himself, “I just, um… I need to shower real quick.” I bit my lip to hold in my giggles. With his back still to me he pointed to the dresser, “You can find something to sleep in. I’ll be back,” He shot up and locked himself in the bathroom.

I sat up, smiling to myself. I reached up and touched my lips, they were tender, but I didn’t care. We’d just stopped kissing and I already wanted more.

I was in trouble.