She's Not Afraid

“So some of your fans wanted me to give you these,” I said walking into the lad’s dressing, I held up the countless bras that were thrown my way as I took pictures of the show tonight. The dressing room smelled of sweat already, and even though they had just got off stage, they were already in different stages of undress.

Louis ran over and grabbed a bra as I threw them down on the couch, “This is a lovely one, isn’t it Jazmin?” he asked as he slipped his arms through the straps. It was a lacey red one, and it looked fresh out of Victoria’s Secret, and I doubted any teenager had actually warn it.

“Yeah Lou, looks good on you.” I pulled envelopes out of my back pocket, “These are for you also,” I tossed the letters on top of the bras.

Liam walked around me, “Thanks babe.” As he walked behind me his hand skirted across my lower back, sending chills down my spine. This was how we’ve been for the past week. Ever since we’d decided to be friends with benefits, we’d hardly had any time alone, and the sexual tension was really starting to eat at me.

Whenever we’d get together for movie nights (aka make out sessions), we’d always get interrupted by one of the lads halfway through the movie. We’d have to jump apart quickly and act like nothing was going on. The one time I’ve gotten a hotel room to myself, the girls decided we needed a girl’s night slumber party, so that wasn’t an option either.

Paul walked into the dressing room then, “Get to the showers lads, we’ve gotta be on a plane to Australia in 3 hours.”

“Aye-aye, captain!” Louis saluted cheekily before he ran off to the showers, pushing his band mates out of the way.

Paul turned to me, “Is the Little Mix crew ready?”

“They’re getting there,” I shrugged. “I dropped in on them before heading here and they were all more or less ready. I’ll go make sure though,” I said backing out of the room.

“Thanks love,” Paul nodded.

I was only a few feet in the hallway when Liam grabbed my arm, dragging me around the corner and shoved us into a door. I groped the wall until I found a light switch, and noticed that we were in some kind of storage room. Liam backed me against the wall and kissed me, pressing his body firmly against mine. He tasted like mint and a hint of sweat and his skin was moist with perspiration from being on stage.

He groaned against my lips, “I’m determined to find decent alone time with you in Australia.”

I nipped at his jaw line, “I like that idea.” I continued to kiss across his jaw down to his neck.

“Sneaking around if fun, but it’s a pain in the ass trying to find places to be together and not get caught.”

“I know,” I pulled his lips back to mine for a moment, enjoying the feel of his tongue swirling with mine. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone so bad,” I teased.

He groaned again, “Don’t say that, that’s not fair, saying that before he get on a long flight!”

I giggled against his lips, “You can always have a wank in the bathrooms on the plane. Join the mile high club with your hand.”

“Cheeky,” he commented before he forced his lips back on mine. He rolled his hips against mine (so much for being fair!) causing a moan to escape my lips.

“You’ve got condoms right? I’m guessing that’s what you meant by ‘alone time?’”

He backed away a little bit, “Oh, um…” he cleared his throat and I could see his face turn bright red. It was adorable. “No. I didn’t exactly anticipate this happening on tour,” he said gesturing between us.

I laughed, “Steal on for your mates. With that lot, you’re bound to find at least one condom!”

He nodded absently, eyes focused on my lips as he brought his back to mine. He kissed me hungrily, like we didn’t see each other every day. “I’m sure Zayn has some I can snag.”

I reached my hands up, running them through his damp hair and kissed him again before pushing out form between him and the wall, “We should get back before they notice we’re gone.”

*****

The thing about traveling with two of the UK’s biggest pop bands is you got to travel in style. As in private plane style. Since we were getting another road crew for stage set up in each country, the only people that flew on the plane were photographers (obviously since, hello, I’m here!), stylists and the backing bands and dancers. Needless to say it was more or less a full plane, but we all got our own space, where we all spent most of the ride sleeping.

I shared a row of four seats with Liam. When we were all boarding the plane he sat at one end, pushing all the arm rests up and stretching out his legs across my lap. “Excuse you?”

He smiled cheekily at me, “If you want to stretch your legs over me, be my guests. This is the only way to get comfortable enough to sleep on these flights. So I used one of those weak plan pillows against my armrest and stretched my legs out so they were between the back of the seats and Liam’s body.

I almost died when half way through the flight his hand wondered over to my thigh. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to do but I gave him a warning glare. Just because there was a blanket over us didn’t mean we could do anything while on a plane full of people. He met my stare before smirking and pulling his hand back.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, I felt asleep until right before we landed and had to sit up and put our seatbelts back on.

Once we were on the ground Paul dictated to everyone that they’d be getting One Direction and Little Mix of the plane first because of the fns outside and the crew would get off after and take the rest of the vans over to the hotel.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” Liam said before planting a kiss on my cheek and getting up and grabbing his carryon.

“You two looked so cozy,” Jesy commented as she walked by me.

I stuck my tongue at her, “Shut it.”

As I watched her and the rest of my friends walk off the plane, a pang of guilt shot through me. Not only was Jesy my cousin, but she was also my best friend and we told each other everything. So the fact that I was keeping this thing with Liam from her didn’t sit well with me. She turned right before we walked off the plane and shot me a cheeky grin. That’s when I decided that I was going to tell her.

“Hey love?” Lou said breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked over and saw her standing there with her hands full with Lux, a diaper bag and what looked like 3 carryon’s. She bounced Lux up to get a better grip on her, “Can you help me with some of this?”

I smiled and stood up, “Of course, what do you want me to take?”

She nudged Lux towards me, “This little monster, if you don’t mind?” Since tour started, I’d spent a lot of time around Lou and Lux. Especially when Harry kidnapped her and brought her around the dressing room. Everyone on the tour was smitten by this little one.

“I’d love too!” I cooed grabbing the little blonde 1 and a half year old out of her grasp. “Hey munchkin! You ready to walk through a crowd of screaming, overly excited kids?”

“No!” she said before she started to giggle.

“That’s her new favorite word,” Lou explained as she reorganized the bags in her arms. “Her vocabulary has improved to 5 words now with that one.”

“No, no!” Lux chanted and clapped her hands.

I giggled at her, “Yes Lux, no!” I turned my attention back to Lou, “You need me to grab something? I only have my camera bag with me so I can take that backpack if you want.

She sighed relieved, “Thank you so much babe! You’re my savior! I swear, every time Tom goes back home I get all scatter brained for a week after.

“No problem,” I chuckled. I juggled around to get the backpack on without dropping Lux as Paul came back on telling us we were ready to go. He walked over to where Lou and I were, “The second SUV is the one with the car seat,” he said and playfully pinched at Lux’s side causing the little girl to flail in my arms with laughter.

“Thanks Paul,” Lou smiled as she finally got all her bags situated. “You ready love?” she asked me.

I nodded, “We’re ready, right Lux?”

“No!”

*****

While getting out of the car at the hotel, the worst thing imaginable happened; I dropped my camera bag. I had no idea how I let that happened, but I hated myself for it. Luckily the two cameras were fine, but one of my lenses was not. My fisheye lens was shattered. It put me in a horrible mood instantly.

“I’m going to use Yelp to find a camera store,” Lou said once we were in the lifts. She had watched as I found my shattered lens and had to hold back tears. I loved that lens!

I hoisted Lux higher on my hip, “Thanks. I know it’s a stupid thing to get upset over.”

She waved me off, “No it’s not. I completely understand, trust me.” She scrolled through her phone as the lift slowly made its way to the top floor. “There’s one a few miles from here, if you wanted to go replace it.” She started digging through her purse, “Here, I can help you pay for it.”

“No, no! That’s not necessary! It was my fault I dropped it, and I have enough money to replace it.” It’s true though. Working with Little Mix paid really well, and I’d saved almost everything I’d made so far, plus I had a good mount in savings from over the years. It would put a dent in my bank account to get a $500-1000 lens, but I used it a lot, so I needed it replaced.

The doors of the lift opened and we made our way down the hall to Lou’s room, “Are you sure? I feel bad. If I hadn’t asked for your help then-”

I cut her off, “I’m sure Lou,” I smiled. “But thank you for offering. Part of my contract with the label is they help pay for my equipment,” I explained. It was true. Anything I used to shoot the girls they helped pay for.

Lou smiled as she opened the hotel room, “It’s a pretty sweet deal Syco gives us, isn’t it?”

I nodded, “It really is. But text me that address, cause I’m already itching to go replace it.”

Just as I was setting Lux on the bed Harry walked into the room, “Took you lot forever!” he said scooping the little girl up.

“Sorry, we had to wait until your entire Australian fanbase to clear out,” I sassed.

He laughed, “Sorry about that.”

I nodded as I opened my camera bag again, to double check that my other lenses were fine. I sighed when I looked at my poor fisheye, “Do you know what room Jesy’s in? I need to go cry over this,” I said holding up the shattered mess.

“That the bloody hell happened to that?” he asked.

“Dropped my bag when I went to grab Lux,” I shrugged. “I’m going to replace it ASAP.”

He winced, “That sucks. I think Jes’ room is the one at the end of the hall to the left. It’s either that one or the one next to it.”

“Thanks sweets,” I packed the lenses back into the bag, “I’ll see you guys later, yeah?”

I walked down the hall and knocked on the room Harry directed me too. He was right, Jesy opened the door, “Hey love. You’re room key is on the table,” she gestured as we walked in.

I nodded setting my bag on the unclaimed bed, “Do you want to go get a new fisheye lens with me? I dropped my bag and shattered mine.”

She made a scared face, “Shit, you must be wrecked over it.”

“I really am. Which is why I need to replace it right now!”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’ll come with you. Just let me change out of the plane clothes and I’ll be good to go. You wanna call Jerry so he can come with us?” Jerry was one of Little Mix’s body guards.

“Yeah.”

*****

We decided to walk the few miles to the camera shop, but almost immediately regretting it, “It’s so bloody hot!” Jesy sighed.

“I know. At least it’s kind of a dry heat though.” We were only a few blocks from the ocean, and there was a slight breeze rolling in off it.

We came across a few beach shops and Jesy all but dragged me in while Jerry waited outside for us, “Look how cute these swimming costumes covers are Jazmin!” she gushed as she looked through the racks. “They look like summer dresses!”

I pushed through a few hangers, “They are adorable. I don’t want to get one right now though, I have to buy an expensive lens.”

“I’ll front you, it’s fine you can pay me back when you get paid again.”

I glanced at her, “You sure?”

“Of course you muppet,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re my girl, I got you.”

I nodded averting my eyes back to the dressed feeling the guilt again. I glanced around the little shop, we were the only ones in there except the girl behind the counter. I walked up next to Jesy and lowered my voice, “I have to share something with you.”

She grabbed a few covers off the rack, “Okay?”

I cleared my throat, “Liam and I are hooking up,” I whispered.

She dropped all the hangers that were in her hand. The commotion caused the girl behind the counter to look over, “You need any help?”

“No!” I said instantly. I dropped down and picked up the swimming costume covers, “No, she’s just clumsy, sorry.” The girl nodded and went back to whatever she was doing. I turned and glared at my cousin, “Nice going, yeah?”

She grabbed her stuff back from my hands, “Are you serious? You’re shagging Liam?” she hissed quietly.

“No! Well not yet. We’re just… kissing. A lot.”

Then a giant smile spread across her face, “I knew it!”

“Shh!” I urged.

“For how long?”

I shrugged, “About a week officially.”

“Officially?” she quirked her eyebrow.

“Well,” I sighed, “When we were back in London there was one night, but that was it.”

“And you haven’t shagged?”

“No. It hasn’t come up until yesterday. That and we only get like 20 minutes alone.”

She snorted a laugh, “How long do you really think you need?”

“Shut it!” I smirked, “But still, getting walked in on isn’t exactly a turn on you know.”

“Why are you keeping this secret?”

I shrugged, “We just figured it’d be easier for the less people to know. We’re just friends with benefits, nothing more, so I don’t exactly wanna get death threats over nothing.”

“Friends with benefits? Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, Liam’s like…” she broke off.

“A ‘boyfriend guy?’ Yeah, that’s what I said. But he says he wants this so… I don’t know. I gave in. I’m only telling you because I hate keeping things from you.”

She pulled me into a side hug, “Well I’m glad you told me. And I’m going to help you get it in.”

“What?” I laughed.

She shrugged, “I’m trying out the American slang, so I can fit in when we get there.”

This caused me to laugh harder, “Wow, good job. Let’s buy these covers and go get my lens now.”

*****

I managed to snag a decent fisheye lens for $650. It wasn’t as great as my first one, but it’d get the job done for a while. “You want to watch a movie?” I asked Jesy once we got up to our floor of the hotel.

“Um, no. I’ve got plans.”

I looked over at her confused, “You do? Doing what?”

“Well, actually, you have plans,” she said as we got to out room. “I told you I was gonna help you so…” she pushed the door open and I followed her in. I stopped in my tracks once I noticed what was inside. There, on both beds, was the rest of Little Mix and all of One Direction.

“Whats up…?”

“You’re secrets out,” Jesy smirked at me.

“What?”

“Aw, don’t be mad at her Jaz. She asked for help and we’re always down to help Liam here get some,” Harry said. He patted Liam’s cheek- which was bright red with embarrassment. Mine I was sure looked the same.

Louis hopped up, “We also got you something!” Then he and the rest of 1D, minus Liam, threw their arms up, and condoms rained down around us.

“Oh my god, this is not happening,” I said covering my face with my hands in complete embarrassment now.

“Oh, it is!” Perrie laughed.

“We’ll leave you alone so you can, you know,” Niall said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Niall!” Liam snapped.

Everyone laughed. “Come on,” Jade said getting up, “Let’s leave these two alone.”

“Have fun!” Zayn said as he passed me to the door.

“We got ‘ribbed for her pleasure’,” Leigh smirked.

I glared over at Jesy, “This was who you were texting? I really hate you!”

“You’ll thank me, I’m sure.”

They all walked out of the room, making side comments and snickering, and then it was just Liam and I. “Well,” he cleared his throat, “I guess you told Jesy?” Despite the blush on his face, a smile graced his lips.

“Guilty,” I said biting my lip, “I didn’t want to keep it from her. But I didn’t think she’s tell everyone!”

He picked up a handful of condoms that had landed near him on the bed, “At least they’re subtle,” he said sarcastically as he let them fall to the bed again.

I laughed, “Yeah, good thing. Life time supply of condoms.”

He dragged himself off the bed and walked over to me. His hands found my waist, “At least we don’t have to sneak around as much.”

“I still don’t want PDA. You’re fans would murder me.”

He smirked, “They’re a bit protective, yeah.”

“A bit?”

He shrugged, “Okay, a lot. But did you notice something?”

“What?” I asked as I snaked my arms up around his neck.”

He leaned in and his lips brushed my ear, “We’re alone.”