Fifty Shades of Joli

Josh had been watching the production of the shop across the road since it had been bought out. It seemed it was now complete, with offensive words splayed right across the front and a picture of a cat's head with its brains hanging out in the window. Charming.

Alex made a noise behind him and he moved away from the window. Jack's store had only been open a few months, but they'd managed to build a solid clientele over those months. Maybe it would be good publicity for them to have a new shop across the road, but the name of the new shop settled doubts in Josh's mind. They didn't want to scare people away.

"What smart ass calls their shop 'Drop Dead'?" he scoffed, and Alex grinned.

"I like the kitty," commented Jack, bounding over to join the conversation.

"Its brains are hanging out," Josh pointed out.

"It looks pretty happy though," Alex argued.

"You're not worried?" Josh asked Jack, raising a thick eyebrow.

"I think bitches already love me," Jack said cheerfully, crossing his arms. "I'm totally not going to lose clients over this."

Josh shrugged and picked up a stray box of stock. "Suit yourself."

He carried the box over to the counter and slit it open with a stanley knife, careful not to cut too deep. The letters 'JAGK' peered through the gap in the box as he flipped it open. He thought of his own clothing line, which only resided on the Internet, quietly daydreaming of opening his own store one day. He could imagine a quaint little shop, with the Down But Not Out Productions clown on the front and classy photos draped in the windows.

He worked slowly beside May, the cashier and also Jack's sister. She was reading some chick book that Josh had never heard of, paying no attention to her work whatsoever, so when a customer slapped an impatient hand on the counter she jumped.

Josh glanced out the window again. The Drop Dead store seemed still and silent, but he figured people were probably working inside. He knew he shouldn't be worried; Glamour Kills was a successful business, and now that Jack had moved a little store over to the UK success had been flying their way. But he couldn't help but wonder what genius opened a new store directly opposite JAGK. It was almost as if they were asking for it, almost as if they were trying to steal a little of the older store's fire. It annoyed him, he couldn't help it.

He folded the shirts and shoved them on a shelf as Jack sprang over, his black hair bouncing on his head as he moved. Josh silently wondered where the guy got all his energy from. He was like an enthusiastic little kid. Almost like a cheerleader, Josh thought with a smirk.

"I totally think we should get a gong," Jack enthused, and Josh raised an eyebrow.

"A bong?" said Josh, frowning. "I didn't know drugs were your thing."

"No, a gong," said Jack impatiently. "Like, this woman and her daughter were talking about China and like I really wanted to hit a gong but I don't even have one?"

"Um," said Josh.

"Like a shop gong?" Alex piped up, and Jack nodded excitedly.

"And then we could totally whack it," enthused Jack, "when people talk about Chinese stuff."

"Whack it," Alex giggled childishly.

"Isn't that racist?" Josh frowned.

"It totally isn't racist," Jack decided. "May, go on my computer and get me a gong. I want a big one, to go behind the counter."

"Will it fit?" asked May doubtfully.

"We'll, like, make it fit?" he sighed, tapping his foot.

May sighed and opened the laptop on the counter. Josh shook his head as Jack and Alex continued to talk about Chinese stuff. He wondered if Jack would put in their contracts that they had to hit the gong at the mention of anything Chinese. Josh wouldn't put it past him. Matty B kind of looked Chinese. Would that count? He smiled at the thought.

As Jack and Alex considered ordering Chinese food for lunch, the bell above the door rang and Josh turned to see who'd come in. Much to his surprise, it was someone he recognised, someone he hadn't seen in months. His face broke into a grin and he made his way over.

"Oli!" he exclaimed, and Oli looked around.

"Josh," he returned, surprise rolling off his tongue, mixing with his Yorkshire accent.

The first thing Josh noticed was that Oli'd had his hair cut. It was a lot shorter at the back and sides, but there was still a lot of it. Instead of straightening it, he'd let it fall in its natural waves. Josh couldn't help thinking it looked good.

"It's been too long," said Josh, pulling him into a hug and clapping him on the back. "How've you been?"

"Good, man," replied Oli, pulling out of the hug and grinning. "What about you, Franceschi?"

Josh shrugged. "All right, I s'pose. How come you're here?"

"I just missed you so much," said Oli with a wicked grin, and Josh pushed him playfully.

"Seriously."

"It's true," laughed Oli. "But, like, I didn't know you worked here. I just opened shop across the road."

Josh bit his lip. "Oh."

The conversation died out for a second, and Josh stood there awkwardly, clicking his tongue. How could he not have known that Oli owned Drop Dead? They'd known each other over two years now. They were friends. They'd done two songs together. Josh felt like an idiot.

He noticed Oli had changed quite a lot since he'd first met him two years ago. When they'd first met, Oli barely said two words in each sentence. Josh had been pretty sure Oli had hated him. He hadn't anticipated becoming so close to the Bring Me frontman.

Suddenly they heard a squeal from across the shop, and they turned their attention to Jack, who was jumping up and down beside May.

"I got a gong, I got a gong!" he sang, grabbing Alex's hands and making him dance.

"Jack got a gong!" sang Alex.

"Meet my employers," muttered Josh, grinning at Oli, thankful for the distraction.

"A gong?" asked Oli, and Josh grinned.

"They're crackers," he muttered.

"Where is this gong?" Oli said curiously.

"They ordered it online," Josh explained. "It's their racist gong."

"Totally not racist," object Jack, hopping over. "It's Chinese."

"I totally understand," said Oli, and Josh rolled his eyes.

Josh left them to it, getting back to work and singing absentmindedly along to the radio. Jack and Oli chatted like the best of friends, gushing over the idea of a stupid bloody gong, and Alex disappeared into the office to answer the phone. Josh and May looked at each other, sharing the same disbelieving expression.

"So we're, like, neighbours?" raved Jack, beaming, and Oli nodded. "That's totally cool."

"I thought I'd open my shop here," Oli explained, "because there's this invisible force that brings me and Joshie together and I totally can't fight it. It's like gravity."

"No it isn't!" yelled Josh. "And don't call me that!"

"It is," Oli whispered to Jack, thinking naively that Josh couldn't hear him. "And I'm totally gonna call him Joshie when I climb him like a tree later."

Josh opened his mouth to say something, but nothing but incoherent babble escaped his lips and he decided to stay quiet. Oli smirked knowingly at Jack and folded his arms in triumph.

"See," he whispered, "I leave him speechless."

"Am I the only one who's going to get some work done today?" Josh barked, and Jack grinned.

"I'm totally the boss," he reminded Josh. "I can do what I want. And Lex is totally on the phone with like clients or some shit?"

"Helpful," muttered Josh.

"Hey," said Oli thoughtfully, "why don't you come to my opening party tonight? It's totally invite only?"

"Oh my god, that would be so cool?" Jack clapped.

"Joshie?" said Oli, grinning devilishly at the frown on Josh's face.

"Whatever," he grumbled, "but if I hear the word 'totally' again I'm going to club a slut in the face."

"Are you sure you two aren't related?" Alex chuckled as he returned from the office.

"We totally could be," Jack agreed, and Josh let out a growl of frustration.

"Right," he growled, "where's a slut?"

"Right here," said Oli, opening his arms and wiggling his eyebrows.

"I'm going on a break," Josh announced, passing a half empty box of shirts to May, who in turn transferred them to the desk and abanoned them.

"He's totally wooed by me," Oli whispered as Josh stomped out of the store.

Max's house was a few minutes from the shop, and Josh made for it, hoping he didn't have some random bitches over from the previous night. Knowing Max, he was smoking in bed. He'd probably peed in a bottle because he was too lazy to get up. Josh shook his head; he'd like to have seen a slut's face if Max did that in front of her.

He let himself in and hurried up the stairs, ready to collapse on Max's bed as long as no one else was in it with him. Thankfully no one was, so he flopped on the empty side, making Max leap out of bed screaming. Oh, he hadn't been smoking, then.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Josh!" he cried. "I nearly shat myself!"

"Lush," Josh grumbled. "Are these sheets clean?"

"Probs not," Max sighed, climbing back under the duvet. "What's the time?"

"Half two."

"Oops," said Max with a shrug, lighting up a cigarette and dragging smoke into his lungs.

"Have you slept all day?" asked Josh, knowing exactly what the answer would be.

"Pretty much."

"Lucky prick," scoffed Josh. "Jack's taken something today, I swear. He's twice as hyper as usual. He wants a fucking gong."

"Sick," approved Max.

"And that shop opening across the road?" Josh continued, ignoring Max's response. "It's Oli's. He's invited me to an opening tonight."

"Ooh," laughed Max, "an opening."

"You're disgusting."

"So we going to the orgy, then?"

"It's not an orgy," groaned Josh. "Please just grow up for five minutes? I went on a break to avoid this kind of behaviour."

"Why the fuck did you come here, then?" laughed Max. "Look, can you get me in, or what?"

"If you make another innuendo, I swear to God-"

"Josh," whined Max. "I need to go to a party or a club or something. I need a shag, I tell you. And you probably do, too."

"I do not-"

"How long's it been?" Max cut in. "Like three months? Your relationship's over, mate. That dick needs to get used."

Josh groaned and buried his face in a pillow, flinching as Max slapped him on the shoulder. He heared him exhale smoke.

"Tonight," announced Max, "we're gonna get shags."