This Is Not What It Is.

"Phoenix...." I get shaked, "Phoooooooenix." The same voice calls again.
"Uuuuuuuu." I reply.
"We have dinner," the voice speaks.

I open my eyes to see Austin crotched down nexxt to me, with a big goofy grin on his face. I sit up slowly, looking over him. He looked nice. He stood up. I got up slowly, going to mirror, fixing my make up then I walked to Austin. I nodded to let him know I was ready to go. I also offered my hand out to him, which he took. I grabbed my phone and wallet, then we left. We kind of walked to the nearest, nice restaurant in comfortable silence, but I had to break it.

"Did you forget your lines?" I whisper just loud enough for him to hear.
He laughs a bit quietly, "I might have."
"I have terrible memory, but remembering lyrics is easy for me," I state.
"I've got a pretty good memory, so.." He responds.

We get there, which ends up being a Crocker Barrell. I am excited, it's my favorite place to eat food. We get a table and sit down, ordering our drinks. I can't keep my eyes off of Austin. His eyes are looking around the building. I laugh quietly, which causes him to look at me.

"What's so funny missy?" He asks.
"You are just so cute," I answer.
"I'm cute?" He kind of questions.
"Yes...I mean you've always been cute.." I say.
"I think it was awesome that you Elijah covered When You Can't Sleep At Night," He says.
"It's an awesome song. Shayley did an awesome job with the song," I state.
"It really is," He muses.

The waiter comes back with our drinks and we order our food. I add sugar to my tea, stirring it with my straw.

"Why do you like tea so much?" He asks.
"It's so good, espeically if it comes from restaurants. I just started drinking tea during my homeschooled year. It started with hot tea and here I am," I reply.
"Amazing," He says.
"So...." I say.
"I like your job," He says, "I'm trying to convince the guys that we should cover one of your songs."
"That's adorable," I state with a small smile, "I love covering your songs, especially Let Live...That one meanns something to me."
"Really? That's good, I guess," Austin muses.
"I like covering To The Stage by asking Alexandria though. It's like my favorite," I ramble, "sorry for rambling."
"It's alright, I like a girl that can talk, but know when she nedes to be quiet," he states with an almost smirk on his cute little face of his.

Our food was given to us and we started to eat. No talking during the eating process. After we finished eating, we were both full. We get the check and go up to the front desk to pay.

"Let me pay for my food," I whine slightly.
"No, I got it.." He says.
"No...cause then this will count as date number three..." I respond with.
"So?" He questions.
"Alan said ..." I started, "After the third it would be okay to..." I gave him a look to know what I was talking about.
"Alan said that? Well I wouldn't do that with someone unless, I was actually dating them..." He says.

I just nod as he pays. He took my hand after he finsihed paying and we started walking back to the buses. We get there and stand outside my bus.

"Okay, good night," He says.
"Good Night Austin," I look up at him.
"Can I kiss you good night?" He asks, his voice sounds nervous.
"Yes...." I say.

He smiled wide. His hand removes itself from mine as it cups my face. He runs his thumb over my jaw as he brought down his head. Our lips connected ina swee tender embrace. His lips were soft and sweet tasting. My hands wrapped around his neck, my lips staying on his. His hands going to my waist. He pulled me a bit close to him. We finally pulled away when oxygen became nessisary. I flushed a deep crimson. I looked at him. He was smiling wide.

"That was awesome," Austin comments.
"That it was...now, good night," I say and open the door of my bus.
"Good night," He says.

He starts to head back his bus. I walk up the steps and into the front lounge where EVERYONE seemed to be. I can tell by thier faces that they all saw it. I flushed deeper.

"FINALLY!" Simon says.
"YEAH!" York says in agreement.
"WOOOOOOOOOO" Elijah says.
"Good night," I state.
"Damn, Austin gets a nicer good night than us," Spencer says.
"I hate y'all." I mutter as I go to bunk.

I lay down in my bunk and fell into a nice slumber

~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~
I wake up. It was 5 am. I cursed slightly as I go to the bathroom, taking a quick piss. I walk into the front lounge. I sit down on the bench that is connected to our small table. I watch the scenery, well that I can see, go by. I despice waking up before everyone else. It really sucks. No one is up to talk to. I go back to my bunk and get my phone then go back to the fornt lounge back into my spot Iy was previouslly in. I got on twitter and sent out a tweet.

That moment when you wake up too damn early for the fact I didn't go to bed till 11pm
I sent out another one.
Had a really good good night kiss though

I got a few replies from some fans. I decided to send out another one.

Any good Cashby fics? Someone fuel my little fan girl heart?

I got a bunch of replies with links. I favorited all the replies with links. I looked at the time, 5:30am. A text message lit up my phone. Austin's name was at the top.

I had a great time last night. It was nice. We should do that again, and the kissing thing again...
I could sense his nervousness at the end there. I hit reply.

We should totally do that again...and the kissing thing. It was really nice.

I hit send and went to my pictures. I looked over those pictures we took that one night and my face lit up. The bus stopped. I looked at our driver.

"I just need to get gas," Ado, our driver, says to me.
"Alright Ado," I say with a small smile.

Ado get off the bus. I walk outside, seeing the OMAM bus at the pump next to us. I send Austin a quick text.

Come over to my bus please? I hit send and got an reply back.
Okay...

He came outside and I smiled at him. He walked to me, taking my hand once he got to me.

"Let's get on your bus..." He muses.
"Okay," I say with a smile.

Austin was in zip up jacket, which was left about half way down exposing his tattooed chest, slippers, and basketball shorts. We walk onto my bus and we sat down, where I was before coming outside.

"Ado stopped to get gas," I say quietly.
"Yoda needed some food and a gas," Austin says.
"Yoda?" I asked.
"Our driver." Aussie answered.
"Oh...Right. I knew that," I say with a small smile.

Austin leans in a bit, meeting him half way as our lips connnects. His arms wrapping around my waist. My arms going around his neck. We kept the kiss sweet and slow. Austin's tongue trails across my bottom lip, begging for enterance. I kepy my lips closed and felt his lips turn into a small pout. I giggle quietly as I pull away slowly. I look at him as my eyes flutter open, his doing the same. We just kind of stared into each others' eyes. I wanted Austin, like really wanted him. I couldn't tell if he felt the same way. I studied his face. He yawned quietly, keeping his eyes on me.

"Same," I commented.
"I just want cuddles...," He yawns out.
"Go cuddle Alan then," I say with a bit of a straight face.
"Nah, I'm good," He replies.

~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~ ~_~
We somehow ended up in my bunk. I was snuggles into his chest. I wake up carefully, looking at the time. It was 9am. Slept a nice 3 hours probably. I climbed out of my bunk and walked to the front longue. York was the only up. He was Skype with his lady friend. I could tell he was because he has a big smile on his face.

"Hey Phoe," York says.
"Hi Yorky," I mumble as I get some food.
"I'll talk to you later?" He says to his laptop.
"Yes baby. I love you," Chelle says.
"I love you too," He replies.

She presses the hang up button. York is still smiling as he closes his laptop. He looked over at me.

"So, Austin?" He asks, having no idea Austin is in my bunk and could probably hear this.
"What about him?" I say finally just giving up and getting cereal bar.
"Are you two a thing or?" He asks.
"I just don't know. There is a part of me who just wants to be with him, another part where I just want him balls deep in my mouth and another part where I just don't want him...at all," I answer honestly, regretting a few of my words.
"Which part is bigger?" He questions.
"The not wanting him at all," I answer.
"He's one of your heroes so you will always want him," York comments.
"True....but, I don't think I could do the whole dating him," I say.
"Then the balls deep is the best option..." York stammers out.
"Austin is too...lovely for that," I comment.
"Then go be with him. Stop being complicated and just be with him," York harshly says.
"I'M NOT....." I got cut off.

"Is the bathroom this door?" Austin asks.
"Yeah, it is..." I answer.
"Thanks," He says tiredly as he rushes into the bathroom.

"...being complicated..." I finish.
"Did you two..?" York starts.
"NO!" I say.
"Alright..." York says with a studdle nod.

Austin comes out of the bathroom. I'm a bit mortifyed. I eat my ceraal bar. Austin sits down on the couch. I watched him carefully.

"Do you want to grab coffee once we get t the venue?" Austin asks me.
"Yeah sure," I say with a small smile.

Austin just smiles and the bus finally parked.

"Here we are," Ado announces.
"Woooooo!" York and I replied.

Austin and I got off the bus and looked for the nearest coffee shop. We got to a coffee shop and got coffee. Each of us paid for our own coffee. We sat down, Austin clearing his throat.

"I heard what you said on the bus," He says.
"I said a lot of shit..." I commented.
"I heard from York asking if we were a thing..." He answers.
I flushed deeply, "Yeah, I mean...."
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" He asks.
"How cliché of you...Yes..." I answer.
"Really?" He says with a smile.
"Yes," I say again.

He smiled wide like a little kid. I rolled my eyes slightly. We finished our coffee, then left the shop. He took my hand on the walk home. We get to the venue, kids were lining up. I had quickly jutted my hand out of Ausin's hold. My eyes wondered to him, he was giving me a confused look. Oncce we were inside, I slide my hand back into him.

"Sorry...I just want to keep this on the down load for a while. I don't think the fans can handle it," I mused.
"It's fine. I understand," He responds.
"I just....am scared, that's all," I mumble.
"You don't need to be scared. I will treat you like a queen,:" He starts.

I cut him off by kissing him lightly. He kissed me back. We finally found my dressing room. We shared a quick kiss before I opened the door.

"See you later, Aussie," I mumble.
"See you, butterfly," He says as he walks to his dressing room.

I finally slide into the dressing room to be greeted with York pulling me out.
"We have an interview," York starts.

We go into a green room. We all sat down as Bryan Stars walks in. I bite my lip, rrying to hold down my squeal.

"Hi, I'm Bryan," He introduces himself.
"Hi Bryan..." We all say back in sync.

He got everything set up.

"I'm here with Kiss of Death on Kissing the Reaper tour. Can i have you guys personally introduce yourself and what your role is in the band?" Bryan says, passing the mic to Simon.
"I'm Simon and I play drums," Simon states as he hands the mic to Spencer.
"I'm Spencer, I do the six string," Spencer says, handing the mic to me.
"I'm Phoenix and I do the loud aggreessive vocal duties," I reached across Bryan to hand it to York.
"I'm York and I play the four string," York says and hands it to Elijah.
"I'm Elijah. I play the normal vocals and the guitarito," Elijah says with his suave voice. We handed it back to Bryan.

He asked all the normal questions and some this and that. We talked about touring with other bands and our current touring family.

"So, Phoenix. There has been lots of talk about you and Austin from Of Mice and Men..." He says.
"Why can't people just hang out anymore? Austin and I just are friends," I defended.

He nodded and moved on from the subject. We answered some more weird questions.

"Bryan, I'd like to apologize. I felt like my answer about Austin was rude and I felt like I snapped at you," I apologized.

Bryan nods with a smile. We finished the interview. Bryan went off to interview Tonight Alive. I went outside with my cigarettes. I saw Alan out here too.

"Hey Kitty," I say.
"Hi Birdy. I heard you and Austin got together," He says.
"Yeah..." I say with a small smile.

Alan and I smoke our cigarettes, then went back inside. Austin was standing by the door. I look at him and smiled.

"I'll freshen up, then we can share a quick kiss before I have to get on stage." I say to him.
"Yeah, babe, go ahead," Austin says.

I get to the dressing room, going to the bathroom, brushing my teeth, and using mouth wash. I walk out of the bathroom, leaning against the door frame, seeing the boys talk. I laugh quietly and step out into the hall. Austin was there and I leaned up. Our lips meet up for nice kiss. I giggle against his lips. His arms swung around my waist. I tossed my arms around his neck. We kept the kiss sweet and slow. He finaly pulled away when air became nessicary. I smiled at him. We walked to the stage together. Bryan was filming but i really didn't care. Our intro music was being played. I gave Austin a quick smooch before running onto stage with the rest of the guys. I finally felt complete with life. I have an awesome job, a cute boyfriend, and a perfect family. My band mates are like my brothers. I'll treat them like my brothers. We stopped playing for a quick break.

"I'll be right back," I say loudly into the mic. York and Spencer looked at me.

I ran back to the dressing room, opening my pill bottle, taking a sip of water as i toss one into my mouth. I walk back to the stage. Spencer and York were bickering.

"You know she was my best friend first!" Spencer said into my mic.
"I'm here best friend...She always pick me to share a hotel room with," York says.
I walk up to the mic, "Neither of you are my best friends,....You guys are like my older brothers, always there when I need you guys. Elijah and Simon are like my brothers as well. I love y'all. You are the fucking people I want to be burried with..." I say into the mic, "Family first."

The whole crowd awh'd and the guys just smiled. They started playing again and I sang. We finished up our set. "ENJOY MY FAVORITE AUSTAILIANS AND OF MERCE AND MERN" slipped from my lips. We walked off stage. We got back to the dressing room. I was happy the venue had a shower. I announced that I was going to go shower. I showered and then slid into sweats and oversize sweater. I kept my hair up in a towel. I went back to the dressing room, yawning quietly, looking in the mirror, biting my lip softly at my horrid face. I looked naked. I was going to go lie down on the bus in a few minutes. I shook the towel off. My phone buzzed and my eyes wondered to it. It was a text from Simon.

We went to go get food and a few drinks. See you in an hour or two

I nodded. I was alone...time to listen to music loudly and read cashby fiction. I turned my phone up loud, playing Blink-182, getting my laptop, clinking on one of the links I favorited this morning. I read for a few hours because Austin came in covered in sweat. I quickly closed my laptop and paused my music. I made my way to Austin.

"Hey cutie," I say.
"Hey doll. Do you want to go get some food?" Austin asks.
"Nah.....I'm fine...I just need a kiss then I'll grab my shit and go to the bus," I answer.
"Okay love," He says and kisses my lips softly.

I kiss him back in the same way. We pulled away after a bit. I smiled and started getting my stuff together. He takes my bag from me, and takes my hand. We walk out to the buses. Once we get to my bus, our lips connected again, in a little bit more rougher kiss. We pulled away sooner.

"Good Night Phoenix," He says handing me my bag.
"Good night Aussie," I say.

I take my bag and get on the bus. I put down my bag on the couch and get into my bunk. Geez, I felt tired. I closed my eyes, falling asleep slowly. This has been the best day.