Clarity

Xianghua sighed softly as the wind ruffled her midnight black hair into her face, brushing it aside she couldn’t hold back a shiver, wrapping her coat tighter around her frame. After endless days of helping Tom maintain his face in the public eye, she treated herself to a walk around the city wondering what to do with the massage package Tom gave her the day before.

The actor wanted to show his gratitude to her dedication and nonexistent complaining, forever thankful for his kind gesture she does need to relax in some way. Ben and Paty were around the clock on their play, Tom being there for support as much as he could, tonight being one of those nights.

She wanted to join Tom in the audience again, to have that sense of emotions swirling inside of her, she refrained. Xianghua needed some time to herself even if her pumps are starting to pinch her feet.

Grimacing at the burning sensation, she pushed through towards a bench were she sat down with a low hiss. Propping one of her legs on the other, she slowly removed the heel, tenderly touching to find a small air bubble at the back of her heel. Cursing lowly, she pursed her red lips and rummaged through her bag for something to cover it.

Thinking she has Band-Aids in her purse somewhere, it took some time before she realized she took them out. Oh, how they are laughing at her now.

Groaning, she plucked a few things from her bag, unquestionable things such as gauze which she didn’t think she had in her bag. Rolling a decent amount over the blister to have enough padding, she tore with her teeth, tucking the end in before slipping on the heel again.

Doing the same with the other heel, several more curses flew from her mouth when this foot was far worse than the other. Wrapping a serious amount, she looked down at her feet to see gauze tightly wound around like a mummy peeking out of her beautiful red pumps. It would have been great to cover the gauze with leg warmers, if she had brought some…

Regardless, she leaned back letting her feet rest before hauling a cab back to her place. The walk that is supposed to be relaxing didn’t turn out quite as planned. Nothing ever did if she thought about it.

Sitting at the bench alone with the river in front of her, she ignored her phone for a good while as it continued to go off. For the last couple of days, her sister has been constantly calling her for financial support. Xianghua can barely take care of herself and worked extra hours just to live above normal.

She knows that her parents probably are going to call her soon for the monthly check-up and still hasn’t made mention of her boyfriend to them. There is a possible anxiousness that bubbles within her that knows that her father is going to be overly protective of her.

It made sense to her anyways, being adopted at a tender age from China from two of the most wonderful people has been the best. Never taking it for granted and loving them unconditionally, guilt ate at her for not seeking her mother’s wisdom for her dilemma, but part of her pride doesn’t want her to burden her mother for folly things.

Her phone buzzed again, she fished out her phone with a low sigh to see there is a voice message left by her beloved sister, Ingrid. Tapping away, she got the nerve to call back only to have the small pause before the cheery voice of her sister reached her ears.

“Xiao Hua! My favorite sister! What took you so long to call back? I was worried sick.” Xianghua came up with a petty excuse reminding herself that Ingrid isn’t as bad as she seems and did care for her to some extent. Ingrid hummed before she continued, “Listen, can you do me a huge favor? Can you lend me nine hundred quid?”

Almost choking on her saliva, Xianghua remained silent processing the kind of money her sister wanted her to borrow or perhaps in her case keep. “Nine-hundred? I don’t have that kind of money.”

Scoffing at her younger sister’s attempt of modest, she mused, “You do have that kind of money, Xiao Hua. There is a little known fact that you do because look at all the celebrities you work for, Benedict, Tom and for the Avengers—don’t think I don’t know about that bit, mum told me. There is money stashed away.”

Xianghua nibbled on her bottom lip, her heart rapidly beat in her chest as she profusely explained that she didn’t have the money. She honestly didn’t and she is spending most on the money for necessities. As much as she felt horrible for not helping her sister, she had to stand up for herself.

Chris encouraged her to be honest and provide the tough love to her sister that she needed. He was the one that expressed her concern that Ingrid has been taking advantage and being irresponsible, spending money on something else knowing Xianghua will take care of it later.

It was time to break another vicious cycle.

The nerves were unbearable when the sisters continued, one trying to weasel the plausible and soft side of Xianghua while she tried to resist. Tears pricked her eyes when silence is finally heard on the other side of the phone.

“Ingrid-”

“No, I get it. You are one of the big shots now; making successful money even when you were in the fashion business you thought you were better than everyone else. I’m about to lose my home and you could give two shits about me. I needed that money, Xianghua.”

Xianghua sniffled, softly calling out to her sister.

“Don’t feel sorry for me. I’ll be fine, I’ll just go back to that shithole I started in and work my way up to the top again. Thanks for nothing.” Before Xianghua could get another word in, the line went dead. Pressing her lips tightly, she shook her head in shame. Black tears rolled down her rosy cheeks as the harsh cold air bit at her skin.

Quickly, she called her sister back that instantly went to voicemail. Attempting multiple times, Xianghua finally left a message, “Hey Ingrid, it’s me. I just wanted to say that I’m truly sorry, but I don’t have the money and if you need somewhere to s-stay. You can always come live with me until you get up on your feet.”

Ending the call, Xianghua sighed feeling the urge to call her boyfriend for some comfort. Realizing that the time difference hindered her from doing so, she decided to text the next best person.

Twiddling with her fingers, she looked out into the wide range as her sister refused to call her back. It only took an hour before she heard footsteps coming her way, rapidly approaching. Peering up with glossy eyes, she saw Ben panting as he jogged towards her completely flustered.

His hair in disarray, his shirt sloppily button, missing a few from the bottom and half way tucked, his trousers wrinkled and his coat hanging loosely from his frame. The cold air clouded his lips as he took heavy breaths to regain his senses.

“I came…as soon as I could.”

“Thank you.” She gave a watery smile letting a few tears slip.

Ben frowned worriedly, taking a seat beside her edging to pull her close to him. He paused not knowing if it is appropriate to advance on her on such terms. They barely became friends again and he didn’t want to ruin it by being so openly affectionate towards her, all his doubts slipped from his mind when she tucked her head on his shoulder for support.

Wrapping an arm around her frame, pulling her closer, he rubbed her arm in comfort. Letting her have her moment, his mind continued to ponder why she is in tears. Did something happen with her and Chris? It may be possible since she went to him instead of Chris, a flicker of hope ignited in his heart.

No, that is wrong to think of such things. If she is crying over Chris then he will be there for her as a friend despite his feelings wanting something more. He needed more control over his emotions when he is around her.

Never in his life has he been more impulsive as he did now; when he is with her all his thoughts flew out the window and solely focused on her. Having her in his arms only made his heart pound harshly in his chest. As her sobs slowly subsided, he felt her breathing dramatically to regain herself.

“Feel better?” he gently asked.

Xianghua swallowed the lump in her throat as she whispered, “Ingrid.” He instantly knew who she is talking about; the same woman that always depended on Xianghua for financial reasons. He remembered the first time he personally met the woman, bursting through the doors while Xianghua stood off to the side during one of his photo-shoots.

He didn’t know what was going on back then, Xianghua embarrassingly excused herself taking Ingrid with her and with Ingrid fashion she asked or better yet shouted if he shagged her sister yet.

The conflicts that she had with her sister have always been an issue and there were times when Ingrid blatantly asked him the salary of Xianghua. Ingrid was overbearing and seeing the flustered woman in tears upset him in unimaginable ways.

“You don’t owe her anything, Xian.”

“I know.” She breathed out. “Doesn’t make me feel less guilty though.”

“How much did she ask for?” He felt her head instantly bolt straight as she looked into his eyes, red and puffy. There were occasions where he gave Ingrid money just lessen the pressure off of Xianghua and when she found out about it, she refused her paycheck. Took him days to convince her to take it.

“It’s not your problem, Benedict.”

“Then whose problem is it? I beg to differ that a friend no other than me, someone who knows Ingrid to refuse to reach out to help. Out of all your siblings, she seeks you out. Do you know why?”

Xianghua blinked, “Because she thinks I’m rich.”

Ben wryly smiled, “All of your siblings including your parents are well off, each one has a stable career for the most part and taking care of themselves. Seeing the youngest in the family achieve so much so young with the fashion industry to now, she’s jealous. So in return she wants to steal part of that light to have you be in darkness if only for a little while to have her happiness. She’s selfish, Xianghua.”

“I know.” As hard as it is to accept the fact that her sister is selfish, she did so. He stated cold hard facts about her sister and truth be told she forgot how honest he can be. One of the qualities that she admires about him.

“Don’t let her steal your light, love. Let her fall and hopefully she will rise from it.”

Xianghua softly closed her eyes as she listened, taking all what he said in consideration she opened her eyes to see him standing in front of her. Offering his hand out to her, he suggested they focus on something else entirely.

Taking his hand, he pulled her up on her feet and the reassurance his hand gave her left her tightening her hold on him. She didn’t let go of his hand and by the end of the night her heart felt lighter than it previously did.