Clarity

“Everything…is gone. My trinkets, my designs, everything that I truly owned have been stolen.” Xianghua sat there in disbelief. There was a small glimmer of hope that she will be able to change and when she scrambled to her closet she saw everything has been taken. All those designer clothes that were given to her as a gift during her time in the fashion industry, the designs she made herself…all gone.

All that has been valuable to her was taken. Completely baffled, she sat there on the floor feeling the fully impact as Benedict called the police.

It didn’t take long for them to arrive and in tears she answered all their questions. The likelihood of retrieving her things were slim to none if this was a random break-in. Xianghua highly doubted Ingrid did such a thing, as much as her sister can be mean she never stole from her or stooped this low. Ingrid used guilt and that is the only method she used.

Benedict held onto Xianghua as the policeman honestly told her that she is lucky to not have been there when the incident happened, more so than none witnesses were brutalized, kidnapped and/or murdered.

A small shiver shot down her spine at the words, but they were right, its better that she hadn’t been there and clutching onto Ben for dear life, she let tears soak his shirt. Once the policemen left, Ben rubbed her back soothingly as he remorsefully whispered to her, “I’m so sorry this happened. You are the last person that deserves this.”

Xianghua bit the inside of her lip with a shaky sigh, “It just happens.” Ben asked what she was going to do, he already thought of her living with him. Plans already set in his head of how much space she needed and how to accommodate to her if she is so inclined to live with him.

“If I still have my car, I’m going to drive to my parents’ house until I find a place. It’s going to take a while and I rather not put you out.” She knew Ben was going to invite her to his home, but she rather not stay with him as much as their friendship as progressed over the last few months. There were so many people she had to share this information with and one of those people was Chris.

Ben almost spoke rashly out of stubbornness that she wouldn’t be putting him out, but filling the empty spaces of his home. He always felt happiest when Xianghua is around and going back to his empty home made him realize the goals that he set for himself of wanting a family.

As much as he did want children running around and a wife, his career has skyrocketed and was not slowing down any time soon. Postponing his goal further, he focused on Xianghua and what she wanted to do. Accepting that she is going to stay with her parents, he still told her that she is welcomed if she ever changed her mind.

Xianghua bitterly smiled, thanking him once again before locking the door behind her and walking out to the parking structure to find her car. Relief filled her when she saw that her car remained untouched, stepping to the driver’s side she embraced Ben tightly before climbing in.

Ben watched her drive away before heading to his own wondering what is going to happen now that Xianghua is homeless.

Xianghua felt frightened, wounded and a victim of robbery. Never in her life did she think that it would happen to her. She lived in a decent neighborhood and out of all her neighbors, she was picked for it. Her flat wasn’t lavished nor had expensive décor; the only expensive things were her clothes.

Her clothes, one of the things that she truly loved and took pride in, collecting those items took years and dedication, even her sketchbooks were taken. Even though her sketchbooks were taken as well as her laptop, she saved her sketches onto her personal account where she still had access to. The main concern for that is to copyright the designs themselves for them to not get stolen.

She needed to work on that pronto.

As for her trinkets, she miserably cried for those. Small items that were from her native country, some were bought when her foster parents brought her home from China. Those irreplaceable things are never going to be returned and she had to accept it.

Wiping the tears from her face, she remembered that she still reeked of alcohol, the sticky substance on her skin and tears mixed with make-up made her look like a wreck. Stepping out of her car and to her childhood house, she slowly stepped up the bright yellow porch and rang the doorbell that she vividly remembered.

Almost instantly the sweet smell of lavender filled her nostrils as the door swung open to reveal her stunningly beautiful mother, bright blue eyes widened in shock. “Xianghua what are you—what happened, dear?”

Without much of a sound, Xianghua leaned her head against her mother’s shoulder inhaling the comforting scent of her child years. Kala pulled her in, closing the door with her back as she called out to her husband, “Fitz! Come down, please!”

Fitzgerald grumbled taking slow steps towards staircase wondering what the urgency is. “If it’s one of those goddamn spiders, just use the bug spray, Kal!”

Kala’s jaw tightened as she narrowed her eyes at her husband when he suddenly appeared, instantly his annoyance disappeared when he noticed his youngest in a sobbing fit. “I reckon something happened?” The older man pursed his lips as he made his way down the steps looking at his way to explain, swiftly she told him that she hasn’t asked her yet.

“And you are going to wait until she comes to her senses? We don’t have all night. Xianghua, sweetie, look at me.” Gathering her up from his wife’s arms, his hands held onto her shoulders as he asked again what happened. Xianghua sniffled as she explained what happened.

Both parents paled, regrettably gazing at their broken daughter. “I-I have n-nowhere to go. Can I stay here until I find a place?”

“Don’t be silly, you can stay as long as you want and your father can help you find a place. He’s good at that sort of thing.”

“I’m an accountant, not a real estate broker.”

“Same thing.” Kala glared, wrapping her arms around her daughter escorting her up stairs to get her cleaned up. “We still have some of Ingrid’s clothes that you can borrow. Have you called Tom yet? Maybe he can give you a holiday?”

“For goodness sakes, Kala, she’s not incapable she can still go to work. It will do a world of good if she continued working. We didn’t raise her to take a holiday every time something horrible happens.” Fitzgerald soon followed after his wife knowing she will coddle their daughter to her wits end. Xianghua is stronger than Kala gave her credit for and he has seen it.

“Says the man that can’t handle a cold.”

“It was a nasty virus, Kala. Can’t be spreading that around the office.”

“That’s what medicine if for! You didn’t need to take three weeks off”

“I wanted to make sure it was gone!”

“It was gone by the first week!”

“Says you!”

Xianghua listened to her parents’ bicker, a smile spreading to her lips as she remembered their banters. Her parents were honest with one another and rarely offended the other only thinking of ways to give a snarky response back.

Kala fussed over Xianghua when she returned with a set of clothes, “I brought you something to wear to sleep in, one of mine and some of Ingrid’s old clothes.”

“Thank you, mama.” Xianghua muttered as she gathered the clothes and set it on the bed. Kala told her to put her clothes out in the hallway so she can wash them before exiting. Standing in her old bedroom brought back memories, the soft yellow walls brought comfort and the boards filled with designs held with tacks were still there.

She smiled seeing the designs she drew when she was a child, how far she truly has come. Thinking of her job, she didn’t want to tell Tom what happened, it’s bound to come out when Ben since he works with Paty. She just hopes that Tom won’t force her to take that holiday.

Her father is right; there is no reason for her to take a break. There is so much work needed to be done and a good distraction will give her that. She will tell him tomorrow when she sees him, when there is a little break between his schedules. Yes, that is what she is going to do.

Taking a long fulfilling bath that soothed her aching and stressed muscles. She wrapped herself in a towel and headed back to her room, the cool air nipped at her skin when she removed the towel, wrapping it around her thin hair, dressing in her mother’s nightwear, she felt inadequate when it swallowed her. Her mother has well known curves; working in the model industry is what opened Xianghua’s eyes to design and fashion.

Kala used to take her around the world, watching fashion shows and the mad dashes models did before walking on the catwalk. Xianghua loved it all and her sisterly bond with Ingrid was stronger back then. The three would travel together and their father occasionally joined when he could.

Her mother is an icon in the fashion world especially in Europe and with the scandal that brought out about her, Xianghua felt like she tarnished her mother’s name even if she did nothing. Kala disregarded the rumors, consoling her daughter and stood behind her when she quit the industry.

Whatever makes her happy is what she said.

Plopping down on the mattress, she sighed having the feeling that this robbery was a lesson. That everything can be taken away within moments like her career, love life and now her home. What she wasn’t looking forward to was telling Chris. A light groan left her lips when she noticed it was nearly two in the morning, dialing her boyfriend’s number; she waited until he picked up.

“Hey babe! How was the fashion show?”

Okay so she did text him before she went sharing her excitement. His happy, cool tone sent her at ease before the nerves started to bundle up again. “Chris, I have something to tell you.”

“Oh God, did something happen? Did you meet someone else because I can’t handle it if this is one of those break-up calls-”

“No! That’s not it at all!” Xianghua exclaimed, his panic tone only made her giggle, laughing at the whole situation. Chris laughed mockingly not seeing the humor in all of it. “I would never break-up with you—ever. You’re too wonderful, I lo-” Tightening her lips, she hoped he didn’t hear the end of her sentence.

“Someone broke into my house and took everything, don’t worry, Ben was with me and reported it to the police. I’m going to be staying with my parents’ until I can find another place. I’m fine, super, super fine.” She repeated, not fully believing it herself.

Chris sat there is disbelief as he leaned against his wall to understand the velocity of the situation, “Are you sure your fine? That doesn’t sound fine to me—I wish…I wish I could be there. I should be there this long distance thing is insane, Xi.”

Xianghua bit her lip as she picked at the blankets, “I know.”

“I should be a boyfriend that can comfort you other than with words and it pains me that I’m not that right now.” She can hear the guilt laced in his voice as he spills his feelings. Appreciating his honesty and effort, she reassures him that they are doing everything they can do make this work.

“No, we’re not. I feel like this won’t work unless we live in the same country.”

“What are you saying, Chris?” Panic settled in her stomach as she thought of the worst, only moments ago she was laughing at his concern that she was breaking up with him only to have him break up with her. Xianghua couldn’t handle this, not right now. If he is to break up with her, it has to be a different day, everything she has gone through—no she refused to let this happen. “Chris-”

“Move in with me. Come to Boston, you loved it here when you came. I can’t deal with you being so far away.”

“Move to Boston? That’s so far away.” She murmured to herself, Chris clearly heard worries.

“Live in Boston the majority of the time, but when I have work in London we can stay at the home we buy there. Split our time if that is what you want, I’m considering all the options here.”

“What about Tom? I work for him.”

“Tom’s a big boy, he can find another assistant. You can work with me; I’ve seen your work. You are remarkable, Xi and all this scheduling to call my girlfriend and not even to see her has been hard on me. I know it has been hard on you too. I don’t want to be apart from you for one second, what if something bad happened to you, I want to be within reach and not an ocean away.”

Xianghua’s words failed her, air left her lungs as she felt lightheaded. Move to America? It never crossed her mind to do such a thing, yes her boyfriend is American, but she never thought that far ahead. She thought that they can manage the distance even if it did pain her to be so far away.

She did feel comfortable in Boston, only because Chris is there, but everything she knew was in London. All of her friends, family and work are here. To just up and leave because of the change of events…it seems childish to run away from such an inevitable thing.

“I need to think about it.”

The excitement felt drained from his voice as he muttered, “Oh okay. Take all the time you want, it’s a big decision.”

Indeed it was and a huge step in their relationship that she isn’t sure she is ready to take. After saying hanging up the phone, she felt wide awake suddenly not sleepy anymore. Her mind continued to buzz from all the events that happened within the last twenty-four hours and she didn’t know what to do with herself.