You Have My Attention

When we arrived back at the bus, we found CC prancing around the bus, jumping about and yelling that he just sent ‘the best text ever!’.

He was displaying the sort of excitement in his yelling that you’d expect his words to be followed by un-necessary amounts of exclamation marks if he was writing it.

“Oh God, CC’s either over-caffeinated or drunk; I immediately suggest we dump all responsibility on Ashley” Jinxx chirped from the couch, batting away Jake’s hand when he reached for a crisp out the bag in Jinxx’s lap. It was rather impressive since Jinxx was looking the other way towards CC at the time.

“Why do I get burdened?” Ashley chuckled, emerging from the kitchen area, only to be gently slapped on the arm by CC, who declared that he was ‘no way a burden’.

“You’re the boyfriend, it’s your duty” Andy stated, taking my hand and leading me towards the sofa opposite Jinxx and Jake, where he sat down before pulling me into his lap.

“Duty? Oh yeah, what’ve you done whilst on ‘boyfriend duty’ today, then?” Ashley laughed, arm sliding round CC’s waist affectionately.

“I took Lukass indoor skydiving – beat that, motherfucker!” Andy yelled, pressing a kiss to my cheek as I leant into his chest, my arms looped around his neck and shoulders.

“How come you don’t take me to do that, Ashy?! That sounds like fun!” CC interjected as the pair joined us on the sofas. Just like Andy and I, Ashley sat with CC on his lap; since he and Andy were also now sitting next to each other, that meant CC and I could play footsie since our knees were practically touching.

“I gotta admit, that’s pretty cool, but would you rather do that or go to that diner we also stop at in the next down that sells the massive chunky cookies and chocolate cake?” Ashley countered, the look in his brown eyes already showing that he knew he had a plan that was bound to get CC excited.

“Oh, yes! Definitely the cookies!” CC cheered.

The thing about Ashley is that, when it comes to CC, he is almost always right.

“So, this boyfriend duty…” Jinxx started, a hum in his voice “what does this entail? If it looks like fun, I might just have to find me a boyfriend to gain these benefits!” he declared, before turning to give what could only be described as an over the top paedo grin to Jake, who made a big gesture of shifting away from him on the couch, which had us all laughing.

“Well, you just have to treat the girl in the relationship like a princess and look after them, attend to their needs and be responsible for them. It’s essentially the duty of a boyfriend to look after his beloved” Andy explained with a flourish of his hand, just as I prodded his cheek with my finger and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Hey! How come I’m the girl!” I pouted, knowing it would spur him on.

“Because you just are.

“Rude!” I declared, poking him in the side before crossing my arms and determinedly looking away; I really could act like a child when I wanted.

The girl jokes continued throughout the day, being passed back and forth and dished out whenever I crossed paths with any of the others’. It was getting to a point where I couldn’t imagine doing anything else with my life though than being around Black Veils Brides and working as tour crew. Even cleaning up just felt instinctive – now it felt less like a job and more like an impulse, something I did to help out my friends. Briefly, thoughts flitted into my head about what would happen after tour. It’s all well and good feeling like I belong on tour whilst I can be on it, but what happens when tour ends? I tried to ignore those thoughts and continued working, hard set on not letting those little, niggling thoughts ruin my good mood.

Eventually, though, the day was finally drawing to a close, and we were all heading into the bunk alley, exhausted after the show. Even though I didn’t play with the band, it was still pretty tiring. I had to hurtle around after them all making sure everything was in order and always helped lug equipment back into the vans after.

We were all about ready to collapse into the bunks and fall asleep.

One thought still plagued me as we lay down, side by side in Andy’s bunk, though.

Once this tour was over, what was going to happen to me?

Now that I had nothing to distract me, I started to think about it more, my brain unable to conjure up enough distractions so that I would be able to ignore it.

Sure, Andy and I would almost certainly still be together, but where was I meant to stay? I couldn’t just assume he’d want me living with him; I really needed to start thinking out a plan for myself…

What was I going to do for money? How was I going to pay for food and stuff for the apartment? Let alone the apartment itself!

Damn, I needed to think this through… make a backup plan… After all, what if my relationship with Andy fails – then what am I meant to do? I should start looking at jobs, apartments, work out how the hell I’m going to make ends meet…

Glancing over at Andy, I saw his eyelids start to flicker with tiredness as he turned to press a soft kiss to my lips.

“Goodnight, beautiful. Sweet dreams” he whispered, before settling back against the pillows eyelids shutting gently as his body relaxed.

I didn’t move for a few minutes, making sure he was completely asleep before reaching for his iPhone which he’d left on the shelf in the bunk. Once I’d unlocked the phone, I opened up the internet browser on it and started swiftly typing away on the little screen, Google searching to find out the average costs of apartments within a set distance of where Black Veil Brides lived.

Unsurprisingly, they were all pricey, way beyond what I would be able to pay for with what little money I could probably get from basic jobs and what dole offers.

I sighed quietly to myself; currently, I had no idea what the situation would be like when tour ended, so I could make no solid plans. I did want to have an idea of what the situation could result in, though; I didn’t want to be completely unprepared.

Only time would be able to tell me what the situation would be like, I supposed.

Right now, all I could do was place Andy’s phone back on the shelf and curl up at his side, ignoring all the thoughts which told me the worst possible situations were going to happen.

Placing my head on his shoulder, I settled down under the sheets and waited for sleep to overcome me.