The Trouble With Lust Is...

I spent the whole night tearing up my house, tossing around everything I got my hands on. I couldn’t believe Trey actually denied me, but then again who would want to be with someone as pathetic as I am. My life was just a big ass mess and I couldn’t find a way to fix any of it.

Mr. Morgan sat behind his home office desk with a stack of papers and began to explain why I even bothered to get out of bed. I couldn’t really concentrate with the massive hangover I had. Somehow I found a bottle of tequila and went to work.

“Okay, so I want to just to say first off, how sorry I am, I’ve known your father for a little over a year, and he was a great man—“

“Spare me the sympathy, Mr. Morgan. Why am I here?”

He looked a little stunned, but continued on anyway. “Okay, fine. Basically, your father had put out a life insurance policy, with you as a beneficiary. After your mother passed he wanted to make sure you were covered if he were to pass too. His lawyer signed over all of his information to me a few days ago at your father’s request. He wanted me to be the one to explain everything to you.”

“It states that he had a policy of 100,000 dollars. Now what the signifies is that—“

I sat there with a stunned face as he continued to explain the policy to me, and how much of it I would be receiving. In the back of my mind the painful questions about his health haunted me.

Blurting out I exclaimed “Did you know he was sick?”

Mr. Morgan looked at me, replying “Yes, I did. He came to me a few weeks ago. He had a stroke while he was working on one of my projects. He didn’t want you to worry, so he promised me not to tell Trevor.”

My leg shook uncontrollable. “So, you knew he was sick and you thought it was best to not tell me? What kind of heartless bullshit is that?”

“Don’t get confused, I wanted to tell you, but he made me swear to secrecy. He didn’t want you to come home and miss school.”

“SCHOOL; FUCK SCHOOL! MY FATHER IS DEAD!” I yelled standing up, pacing around. “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CARE ABOUT SCHOOL? MY FATHER IS GONE!”

He stood up defensively raising his hands. “I know and I’m sorry. But, I couldn’t tell you. I signed a confidentiality form.”

“He was the only person I had left, did you know that? Did you think for one minute how that might’ve affected me?” I wanted to climb over his desk and choke the life out of him.

“I did, and again, I’m sorry. He knew what the consequences were for not telling you. He left you a letter in his last will and testament. If you can sit down we can finish discussing this—“

“You and your whole family are a bunch of fucking pricks. Just give me whatever I have to sign and I’ll be leaving.” I stood in front of his desk with my hands out, waiting.

“It doesn’t work like that, I have to explain everything. I—“

“GIVE ME THE FUCKING PAPERS!” I yelled. My patience was so thin and my heart felt so raw I exploded.

“Mr. Flores, please. You need to take a seat.” He begged me moving from his desk toward me.
Backing away I headed for the door. He tried to move in front of me but I pushed myself away and out of his office. He held his hands up, as I continued backing away from him.

“Sandreya, please. You need to calm down.”

“Dreya?” I could hear Treys voice as I turned around. He walked closer toward us, trapping me in the middle.

“Stay away from me!” Looking at both of them I waited till Trey moved toward me to bolt out of office and run down the stairs.

I could hear them calling after me but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t breathe as I ran faster and faster away. Halfway through my running I bent over and finally breathed. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and I had to get away.

After reaching my house and packing a few things I left, never once thinking to look back.

***

I looked at my watch, noting the half hour left I had before my shift ended. The Grease Bucket I was working in was fairly empty as I leaned against the register waiting for the time to pass.

“Excuse me, Miss. Can I get a few packets of ketchup?” the voice sounded familiar, looking up I smiled.

“Miriam?” I moved from behind the register.

“No, it’s the fucking tooth fairy.” She joked as she threw herself on top of me into a forceful hug.

“What are you doing here?” I asked pulling her into an empty booth.

“Well I’m here for you. You’ve been M.I.A for over five months. Nobody has been able to get a hold of you.”

I rubbed my hands together guilty. “Yeah, I know and I’m sorry. It’s just been a little rough for me. How’d you know I was here?” I asked.

She nodded her head in the direction of the door as Jason walked in. He smiled at me then took a seat next to Miriam. “Well, everyone’s been looking for you. Me, Jason, Trey—“

“What’s going on, why are you here?” I asked annoyed at the very mention of Trey.

“Chill out. We just want to talk. When we didn’t hear from you I got worried. I called Trey a few months back and he said you disappeared. No one knew where you were. He went crazy. Like, he went totally crazy because he thought something happened to you. You disconnected your phone and dropped off the face of earth.”

“I obviously didn’t do a good job if you found me.”

She sighed loudly. “Do you have any idea the shit that was going through our minds? Like, I even traveled to Austin, Texas when he told me he hadn’t seen you in weeks.”

“So, what you came here to make me feel bad? I left; there wasn’t anything in Austin for me, or New York City.”

She looked around, extending her hands, retorting “And what? This is so exotic, that you needed to drop out college and leave your life for this shithole?”

She continued to banter on angrily and all I could do was sit there and take it.

“Look at you, you look so damn skinny. Now I see why no one could find you. Cutting off all of your hair and dying it blonde. I barely even recognized you. What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, maybe that my dad was dead, and I didn’t have anyone left. So what, I left. It’s not your problem. What I decide to do with my life has nothing to do with any of you.”

She shook her head replying “You had no one? I thought we were family. Why couldn’t you come to me? I know what it’s like to lose someone, remember I lost both of my parents too. I could’ve been there for you!”

“I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy. I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me like I was some charity case. I needed to breathe and everyone kept suffocating me. I had to leave!”

“YOU COULD’VE CALLED!” she screamed as she jumped up and banged her hands on the table. Jason pushed her down, trying to calm her.

“I’m sorry, is that what you want me to say? I’m so fucking sorry. Do you think I wanted to be so far away from anyone I knew, to not call you and let you know I was okay? I was scared; I didn’t want you to talk me into coming back. I just couldn’t!” the tears started to fall and I stood up, trying to explain myself.

She stood up and before I could say a word she hugged me. I gripped onto her and we just stood in the middle of the floor crying. Eventually Jason walked over and embraced us; his tall frame towering over us.

“But how did you guys know I was in California?” I asked pulling away.

Jason waved his hand toward the glass window and I immediately knew how.