But I’ll Still Sing for You

I groaned when the buzzer went off. I put my laptop to the side of me and flipped the covers off of me, and I headed towards the door.. When I saw Josh holding up Oliver I felt my heart sing. “It’s open,” I muttered pressing the button to let them into the building. I waited for them in the kitchen, which wasn’t far from the door. Josh came in and put Oliver on the couch. “Lovely.”

“Hey, I’m really sorry about the other day, and this.” Josh said, toying with his hair. I shrugged and looked down. “It is mine, though. Isn’t it?” I nodded slowly. “Did you ever try to tell me?” I nodded again. “Come on, Lex. It’s me, Josh. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I thought you were going to the other day.” Josh sighed deeply. “I called, yeah. Matt picked up and wouldn’t let me talk to you. I don’t think he believed I was really pregnant, and he told me to stay away from you.”

“That must have been the day you stopped calling,” I nodded. Josh jumped when I let out an unexpected groan. “Are you alright?” I nodded.

“He/She kicks pretty hard.” Josh’s face flushed red. “You can feel if you’d like.” Josh gulped but still nodded. He stepped forward, obviously very hesitant. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hands, placing them forcefully where the baby was moving. Josh stared at his hands on me for a while.

“Oh my god,” he looked up at me. I could see tears just begging to fall. “That’s mine?” I smiled softly and nodded. He stood back to his feet and quickly kissed me. “I have to go, but we have to talk soon.”

We never really did. I avoided him like the plague, and he didn’t come knocking on my door and begging for me to talk to him. A week almost two went past and I only really had to see Josh, and the other boys, twice. My due date was about three months away and Oliver was leaving me to go on a Warped Tour. Bring Me The Horizon was planning to leave in June, but Oli delayed it the best he could. He wanted to make sure someone was around to make sure I was safe and not alone when I went into labor.

“Have fun, and don’t worry about me.” Oli smiled and shook his head. He pulled me into the tightest hug he could, given my condition, and nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck.

“I always worry about you,” he whined into my skin. “I’m going to miss you so much, and I’ll try to call as much as I can.” I nodded and he pulled away. “Goodbye, love.” I smiled softly and kissed him.

“Bye, Oli.” He finally let go of me and walked with his bandmates towards the gate.

“Come on, mate. She’ll be fine.” I heard Lee say, trying to cheer Oliver up. I sighed and walked away, holding my stomach gently.

When I got home I saw Josh sleeping outside my door. I carefully sat next to him, and nudged his shoulder. “Josh, wake up.” He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing? It’s four am.”

“I know, I just- Panic! At The Disco came out with a new song and I-I” I smiled slowly and grabbed his hand. We got up together and I led him into my apartment. “I’m also your new bodyguard.” Josh admitted sheepishly.

“Oh my god,” I couldn’t help but groan out. “Why doesn’t Oli understand that I’m fine on my own?” Josh sighed and sat at the counter. “It was your idea wasn’t it?”

“It’s my baby, I’m just worried. I don’t want you to carry something too big or fall in the shower or-” I rolled my eyes and walked away from him. “Where are you going?”

“Back to bed, I woke up at like two to go with Oliver to the airport and I’m tired. There’s an afghan on the couch, take a nice nap.” I threw him a cocky smile and waddled best I could to my bedroom.

“I’m sleeping with you,” Josh announced after a couple minutes. I had heard him rustling on the couch before. “Please?” He pouted and clasped his hands together.

“Fine.” I groaned. Josh smiled widely and quickly took his clothes off. “Seriously?” He smiled impishly and climbed in next to me. “Don’t touch me with your pretty boy parts.” I muttered turning over.

“Goodnight beautiful,” I sighed but didn’t respond. “This feels familiar.” I heard him mumble softly. I stayed silent. "Is it stupid that I miss you?"

"Yes."