Outlines

Chapter name- For Baltimore, ATL (I just got Don't Panic, so there will be many references)

JACK'S POV

I open the door to Zack's house and remember that his parents are out of town and they have been for two days, five days left of Zack being all alone. There are already pizza boxes strewn all over the kitchen and half-drank Gatorade bottles in the hall leading to Zack's room. I laugh and swing open his door. He's sitting there, on his bed, feet planted firmly on the ground looking into the space in front of him like it will answer all of life's mysteries.

"Jackary!" He says, noticing my presence. He jumps up and wraps me in a hug. I almost start to cry, why can't Alex do this with me?

Zack notices my tears and leans back, his arms still around me, and he wipes them away with his thumb. "Oh, baby, don't cry. One day, everything will be alright." he says. I laugh at him calling me baby. I think sometimes people think we're dating with the names Zacky will call me and how he's so comfortable with me. We became stronger friends the first time Alex and Lisa started dating. Zack helped me cope and not cut, he helped me remember who I was without a blade when Alex couldn't because he was too busy fucking around with Lisa. Literally.

But him saying that makes me want to find the closest razor I could get my hands on. *One day*. Not today, not soon, but *one day*. But I don't, I just unravel myself from Zack's grip and land on his bed. Zack lays down next to me and we just sit like that, silently.

ZACK'S POV

Oh my god he looks perfect, laying there on my bed, his black hair with little blonde streaks falling into his face. But he doesn't care about that, he's thinking about Alex.

Alex. I love him but he kills me.

I've thought about telling Alex about Jack, but that's so girly. And then they both might hate me.

So I stay silent. I lay down on my bed so I'm not just creepily staring at little Jackary, and we just lay there.

"Let's do something." I finally say. Jack nods but doesn't move besides that. I roll onto my side and start tickling him, and Jack starts flailing his arms and legs, making it easier for me to tickle his stomach.

"S-s-stop, Za-a-ack!" He says through his insane laughter. Now I'm laughing too, he's so adorable. How can anyone resist him?

Jack was in a dark place when Alex started dating Lisa. He was locked in his room with blades, and no one cared. Besides Rian and I. Alex didn't notice. He can be so fucking blind when he's in love. Rian didn't know how to help Jack, so I did. And then I fell in love with him. That wasn't the plan. But the day I saw his scars, I saw how much pain the world was causing him, it made him even more beautiful than he already was.

Before Alex and Lisa were dating, he was in love. And it was good. Alex knew all his secrets, Alex was who he'd hang out with, but Alex never saw the bad side. The side he caused.

"Okay, now be happy, babe!" I say, releasing him from my "torture". Jacky smiles and it quickly fades.

"Can we just go to sleep?" He asks softly. It's only seven but I'm tired from playing video games all last night-- perks of being left home alone.

"Sure, Jacky." I say. I get up and strip down to my boxers, but Jack just slides under the covers. His scars. He can't.

"Zack-"

"Baby, I know." I say, crawling under the covers next to him. He unzips his black sweatshirt and reveals a Green Day shirt, throwing the jacket somewhere on my floor and he puts his hands under his head, closing his eyes.

I want to kiss each of his scars. Tell him he means so much more than that.

But I just roll over and I don't wanna say goodnight to him. I don't ever want to say goodbye. I want him to be here, with me, forever.