Distance

I stared at myself in the mirror, assuring my reflection that everything will be fine. A few hours today and then a few hours tomorrow around Liam will be no problem because then he won’t even be in the same country as me. I can do this. But no matter how many times I repeated that to myself, I knew that no good would come out of these days. Knowing him, he will put his everything into making it amazing and he doesn’t realize that it’ll only make things harder. I can’t be with him when I feel so sad most of the time. I don’t think he knows that it’ll make it harder for him, too.

The doorbell rang, tearing me out of my thoughts. Taking one last deep breath, I exited the bathroom and walked to the door, grabbing my phone and keys on the way. I opened the door and found Liam standing there, his hands shoved in his pockets. He lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine. “Wow, ready on time for once?” he questioned – a reasonable question because I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been ready on time for a date – but I barely heard it due to my wandering eyes.
He was wearing tan jeans and a red and white flannel, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to show off his tattoos. It was a simple outfit but something about the way he wore it… I swear he was doing it on purpose. I heard him clear his throat and I jumped slightly. He was pressing his lips together, trying not to smile. I blinked. “Okay,” I mumbled, stepping outside and closing and locking the door behind me. We both hurried into his rental car, hoping nobody would spot him. Neither of us said anything as he back out of my driveway and began driving down the road, his eyes not leaving the road from behind his sunglasses. “Um, so where are we going?” I asked, finally breaking the silence.

He glanced at me. “I’m not telling you,” he said simply, a small smile on his face.

I scoffed, not being able to hide my surprise. “Why am I not surprised?” I asked. I wasn’t really a big fan of surprises but I couldn’t deny that Liam’s always made me excited. His surprises never failed to make me happy.

He gave a small shrug. “Some things don’t change,” he said before the silence took over again. I didn’t know what to say to that. It sounded like there was a meaning in his words but I wasn’t sure and I definitely was not going to make a big deal over nothing.

We soon pulled up in front of a small, worn down building with only four cars in the parking lot. “This is still here?” I asked, shocked. Liam only nodded, turning the car off. It was the diner where Liam and I first met – and had our first date. My friend Vicki and I were supposed to be going out shopping for the day until we pulled up to this run down diner. She admitted that she was going on a date with a boy she’d met at the mall and – to avoid potential awkwardness – she turned it into a double date and failed to tell me. As soon as we got inside I realized that Vicki didn’t need the extra people because they were hitting it off fantastically. It was a bit weirder between me and Liam but we quickly got over it and it turned out to be the best date I’d ever been on. “I thought it would’ve been shut down by now,” I mumbled more to myself.

“Good thing it isn’t or I would’ve been screwed, huh?” Liam joked. “Come on,” he instructed, getting out of the car. I followed and we walked inside, going straight to a booth in the back corner. The same booth that we’d sat in years ago.

“Did you plan all of this?” I asked as I took a seat, looking around the almost empty diner. He really went through all this trouble? Just to get me to stay with him?

He grinned. “Actually I didn’t,” he admitted. “I knew it wouldn’t be busy and I knew it was still here but the table? No, I didn’t. Must be fate.” Before I could say anything else the waitress walked up and greeted us. My eyes widened when I saw her. She was an older lady, maybe in her mid-fifties, with graying hair. Maybe it was just my mind trying to play games but, from what I could remember, she looked a lot the same lady who served us on our first date. She had the same toothy grin and her face looked so familiar. I jumped slightly when I saw fingers snap in front of my face. “It’s impolite to stare at somebody else while you’re on a date,” Liam teased.

I barely registered his mention of this being a date – because it wasn’t, it was only him trying to remind me of the good days – and I blinked, noticing the waitress was no longer here. “Is that the same waitress that served us last time?” I asked, pointing behind me.

“I have no idea, honestly,” Liam responded. “I didn’t pay much attention to the waitress last time I was here.”

I shifted under his gaze. “Oh,” was all I could mutter. This was a bad idea. I knew this was a bad idea. He kept saying sweet little things and all I was going to do was hurt him at the end of it. It wasn’t fair to him but it also wasn’t fair for me to stay and be sad all the time.

He sighed, setting his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together before resting his chin on them. “Why are you being so awkward, Steph?” he asked. “It’s only me.”

“That’s exactly why,” I told him, rubbing my forehead. “This was a really bad idea. I think you should just take me home.”

He scrunched his eyebrows together. “Why?” he asked.

“Because this isn’t fair,” I replied. “It isn’t like I don’t love you anymore, Liam, because you know I do, so much. But this is only going to make things harder for us – especially you – tomorrow. No matter what you do, I’m not going to change my decision because it’s the best for me.”

He pursed his lips. “I really don’t think we should get into this,” he claimed. “At least not right now. If it’s going to make tomorrow harder, then so be it. But I’m not letting you go without a fight and I’m going to remind you why we’ve stayed as strong as we have, even with the distance.”

“That’s really selfish of you,” I told him quietly. The waitress set two drinks in front of us and must’ve felt the tension because she quickly walked away without another word.

“I don’t care,” he admitted with a shrug. “It’s selfish of you to make such a big choice without even talking to me about it.” I frowned, not saying anything. “Do you remember when we went on our first tour and that very first night I was gone, you called me because you couldn’t sleep without me there?” I felt my cheeks heat up slightly. That wasn’t one of my best, independent moments. I was so used to him being by my side and holding me while I slept that it felt like it was impossible to sleep. Before I even knew what I was doing, I had the phone to my ear and he was greeting me. I tried to end the conversation because he was probably exhausted but he insisted on staying on the phone until I fell asleep. After a mix of listening to him sing and just breathe, I finally fell asleep. I nodded slightly and he continued. “I promised you that I would be there for you, whenever you needed me; that we’d make it through anything.” He was silent and I looked up to see what he was doing, only to find him staring at me. Holding eye contact, he finished his sentence. “And I don’t break my promises.”

I didn’t say anything – what was there to say, really? – but he didn’t seem put off by my lack of words. But I didn’t have to because the waitress reappeared with a small, cautious smile on her face and two plates in her hands. I gave her a smile in return and she placed the plates in front of both of us. “You two need anything else, just give me a call,” she told us with a nod before walking off.

I looked down at my food and saw Liam had ordered me the same pasta meal that I’d gotten on our first date. I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Your memory is crazy,” I told him.

He smiled, picking up his fork. “It’s easy to remember things about you,” he said.

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep from smiling. “It’s crazy how cheesy you are, too,” I commented, feeling the tension go away slowly. It felt like just another date.

“But it’s one of the many things you love about me, so why would I be any other way?” he teased, taking a bite of his food.

I didn’t have an argument there, so I just started eating my own food.