Please Remember Me

“Hmmm.” I heard a contented sigh rise from Patrice’s chest as I straddled his waist and kissed down his chest. “Good morning.” He whispered as my trail of kisses made their way up his neck and to his lips.

“You’re going to sleep the day away if you stay here.” I said pecking him all over his face.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if you stayed with me, where have you been?” Patrice asked as he placed his hands on my hips

“I went to breakfast with everyone else, I tried to waking you up but you were passed out.” I said smiling down at him.

“Well you look beautiful.” He said reaching up to touch my face softly.

“Thanks.” I said as I placed my hand over his, “Now come on everyone’s gone down to the beach, we only have a few more days left here.”

“Aright I’ll meet you all down there.” He said lifting me off of him and standing up.

“I can just wait for you.” I said gliding my hands along his back, “I want to spend some time with you, I haven’t seen you all morning.”

“And that’s my fault?” He asked tensely as he pulled away from me.

“That’s not what I was saying at all.” I said letting my hands fall to their sides.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He said reaching out to me.

“What’s the matter Pat, you can tell me.” I said taking his hand in my own.

“I just had a bad dream is all.” He said sitting down on the bed so I was standing in front of him at eye level. “I dreamt that you...” He went silent as he stared at his hands.

“Baby, it was only a dream, talking about it will make you feel better.” I said rubbing his back gently.

I didn’t realize he was crying until he looked up at me with red eyes, “you died.” He said quietly.

“Baby,” I whispered as I wiped each tear away with my thumb, “I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked at me with helpless eyes, “You don’t know that.” He said shaking his head.

I recognized his fear; I knew it far too well. Nightmares were something I was used to especially the kind where you lost the ones you loved. “Babe, I know it seemed real, but I’m going to be okay.” I said doing my best to console him

“No, no you aren’t. Good things don’t stay good for us, and here right now things seem perfect.” He said as he leaned his head against me for support.

“I know just as well as you that the minute things are okay they go wrong with us, but we can’t let that keep us from living life to the fullest.” I said as I held him close to my chest. He held me in his hands as he let out a sigh.

“You’re right.” He said as he lifted his head just enough to look at me then back down as he snuggled his face into my chest.

“Does that make you feel better?” I asked teasingly.

“A little.” He mumbled into my breasts. “They’re so much better now.” He said as he gave them each a squeeze.

“And even more sensitive.” I reminded him with a grin.

“Sorry.” He said giving me a gentle kiss to the lips. “Let me put my trunks on and we can go down to the beach.”

“Okay baby.” I said giving him another kiss before moving out of his way so he could get off the bed.

~~~~

“We are not doing that.” Patrice said firmly as I pulled him down a dock towards a set of jet skis.

“Yes we are.” I said excitedly.

“You’re seven months pregnant.” He pleaded with me as we got closer to the end where you were able to rent them.

“Then we can ride one together,” I said determined to get my way. “Don’t be such a chicken.” I teased as I flapped my arms at him laughing.

“You’re gonna get it.” He said as he pulled me into him so that my back was to his chest, the only way my stomach allowed us to be anywhere near close.

“And by it do you mean my way?” I asked with a smirk.

“No,” He whispered into my ear, his warm breath splaying over my neck causing a chill to run up my spine, “By it I mean take you back to the house and do very naughty things to you.”

“Why can’t we do both?” I said pushing my butt into his body just enough to get a response from him, but enough to be inappropriate for public.

“My idea first.” He said giving me a quick peck on the cheek.

“No way, all we’ve done this trip was each other, please can we go on the Jet Ski?” I asked looking up at him with my dark eyes as I fluttered my eyelashes at him.

“Fine, just don’t kill us.” He said taking my hand and letting me lead him over to the rentals.

We got on the Jet Ski with me in the front and Patrice on the back with his body hovering protectively over mine as his hands found mine over the throttle. I listened to the man’s few basic instructions and turned the key to start it up while we were untied from the dock.

“Let’s start off sl-“ Patrice said before I hit the throttle sending us zipping over the waves. It was great… for me anyways. Patrice held onto me tightly, his knuckles turning white over my hands as I took a tight turn. The water was spraying everywhere as we skipped across the water like a stone. I was laughing with glee as I churned up the water shredding everything in my path; it gave my body a rush of adrenaline to be going so fast on the water. When I finally slowed down I could feel Pat’s tense body behind me sort of relax as we finally redocked and got off after enjoying hours out on the water together.

“Never again will I get on something like that with you.” He said with his hands on his hips.

“You’re a guy you’d do anything for sex.” I said giggling as we walked back to the room.

“Correction,” He said just as we we’re reaching the little villa we were staying in, “I’d do anything for sex with you.”

I couldn’t help but blush, one would think that after all the time we had been together that I wouldn’t blush at the way he viewed me and our relationship. It still caught me off guard that he found me desirable, that out of everyone he chose me.

Once we were inside every thought went away and all that existed was each other. He leaned down to kiss me as he undid my bikini top and bottom while I pulled his shorts down to the floor. In one swift motion he stepped out of his shorts and lifted me up onto the kitchen counter. The cold marble counter top sent a new flood of sensations through my body as Patrice kissed me with a new fervor now that he was able to better access my mouth. Everything felt different this time around, maybe it was his confession this morning about being afraid or maybe it was all in my head but Patrice felt brand new. He didn’t have the usual confidence about him, Patrice held me there not in place but more of just to be near me; to make some type of a connection. I let my hands run up along his muscled body which still felt strong, but I could feel the softness radiating through his skin. He slid his tongue across my bottom lip before meeting my own not in a dominant way but as though he was testing the waters like he wasn’t sure this would be okay. Worried I pulled away and stared him in the eyes begging him to tell me what was going on inside his head. He didn’t speak though; he only looked at me with a familiar longing in his eyes before he pulled me off the counter just enough so he could slip inside of me. I moaned as this position gave him further access allowing us to connect even further in a way we hadn’t been since my stomach got in the way. He kissed me on the lips now, not with urgency and desire, but with love and passion. He drew each kiss out as if it would be our last, each filled with so much emotion my heart felt like it was going to burst each time our lips parted before coming back together. My emotions were on over drive as each touch brought me closer and closer over the edge.

It wasn’t until he whispered into my ear in a low broken voice, “I couldn’t live without you.” That I broke into a million pieces as each wave of pleasure overcame my shaking body. I hadn’t realized that He too was experiencing sexual high as he finished with a few sudden jerks. My hands found the back of his neck as he panted into my shoulder, completely spent.

“I love you.” I said out of breath. The words felt as if they had new meaning, fresh and unsaid until now.

He didn’t respond right away as he lifted me off of the counter and carried me to the bedroom where he laid me down and cradled my body as though I would fade away if he didn’t hold me in the moment. I waited there patiently as we both breathed in the silence. I knew that when he was ready he would speak. He was thinking, and so was I. That act of love was unlike any other I had ever experienced we we’re connecting in a way I was positive only a handful of people ever had. Our body, mind, and soul were one only moments before this. It was life altering in a way that didn’t make sense to me; so much emotion that had been bottled up and kept secret had just flowed out of us, letting each other know that we were going to make it through this like all the other times.

“I don’t know how to put my thoughts into words right now.” Pat said quietly in my ear. His voice sounded fragile, it was a voice I very rarely heard from him.

“You don’t have to.” I said as I pulled his arm around me tighter, “You can try if you’d like though.”

“When I try all that comes out is I love you.” He said as he kissed my shoulder blade where his head was resting. “I want to tell you everything though, that I’m sorry that I don’t deserve you, I’m terrified of losing our children and even more scared of losing you. All those times it never worked out with anyone else I now know was because of you. You were out there waiting for me to find you and fall in love with you. I’ve been scared because things have been so distant between us even when we were okay there was something missing. I don’t feel that anymore, and I pray to god you don’t either.” He finished with a sigh.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” I said knowing for the first time since we were married that he and I we’re okay. I laid there as relief rushed over my body and the burden I had unawarely been carrying fell off my shoulders. Each of let go the last bit of darkness we had been carrying moments before because we realized neither of us could survive without the other.

“I love you.” He said in a hushed whisper, “Like really really love you.”

“I love you too.” I said as I pulled his hand up to my lips and gave each knuckle a kiss, “More than I’ve ever thought possible.”