Caged Birds Don't Like to Sing

I looked back and forth between the sheets at the two faces looking back at me, both in utter shock. I could already feel myself needing to catch my jaw. “Okay...” Jude started to backtrack, her eyes widening. “Maybe it kind of is. But I can explain.”

The sheets were wrapped around her torso as she was propped up with her elbows. She stared back at me blankly, shifting emotions quickly at the sudden need for an explanation. Uncomfortably she shifted in the blankets, trying to find the right words to say to cover her tracks.

I looked over to the other person once I heard their voice, “It’s kind of exactly what it looks like.” Then he sat up and covered his face.

I slammed the door shut and checked the other rooms. One was a linen closet and then the last one I opened was the guest bedroom. I could never figure out this house. I pushed it opened and ran in despite my hurt ankle. I flopped on the bed and scrambled in on my knees. My ankle throbbed, but I ignored it for the time being.

Jackson looked up at me in confusion. “What’s going on?” He seemed startled as to why I ran in so fast. I looked at the T.V. screen to see South Park playing, but he clicked it off. Then he directed his attention back to me, reading my face for some kind of story.

“Ben and Jude just slept together!” I shouted frantically, throwing my arms in the air.

Jackson sat up. “What?” He seemed doubtful at first, but then I guess something clicked in his head. “Did they really?”

“I just walked in and.... Yeah,” I tried to explain, bobbing my head up and down and making wild hand movements.

“Why would he do that? He knows she is engaged!” Jackson groaned and face palmed. He started to toss the blankets off of him and slowly got up from bed.

“Don’t get up,” I demanded. I started to crawl over to keep him in bed, but he shrugged me off.

“I need to now!” He followed me out of the room and to Ben’s room in a rush, well, as rushed as he could go. He seemed just as frazzled as I was about the situation. We knew it couldn’t be an easy fix.

By the time we opened the door again, Jude was dressed and standing as far away from the bed as possible. Her arms were folded as if she was trying to hide something. I had a feeling she already knew she had made a big mistake. She was looking down sheepishly and hardly making eye contact with anyone.

“Ben!” Jackson sternly said. Ben instantly looked up and stared at him, knowing he was in for it.

“I didn’t know!” Ben started to come up with excuses as he held his hands up.

“You so did!” I hissed at him. Then I turned my direction to Jude. I said to her, “Why would you sleep with Ben? You have a sick fiance who is in the hospital!”

The idea of him not knowing what was going on made me sick. How could one even cheat on their partner? Especially when they were in the hospital.

“You don’t even know the half of it!” she screamed back at me, throwing her arms out. Tears started to flood down her cheeks. “He’s not as great of a person as you think he is. Or at least that I thought he was....” Her voice trailed off as she broke down again.

I exchanged a glance with Jackson. He shrugged lightly and we both walked over to her. “What are you talking about?” I asked softer this time.

“He,” she sniffed. “He thought he was going to die right then and there, so he confessed everything to me. He slept with all my friends. Ramona, Jessie, Liz, and even Hayley,” she rattled off as she cried more. She acted like I knew the names, but I really had no clue. But I got the impression that those were her closest friends.

“I’m sorry--” I started to say. I felt guilty for yelling at her as harshly as I did. Even though an eye for an eye wasn’t necessarily the best route to go.

Jude continued on, cutting me off. “That’s not even the worst part. He spend most of our money, the money we were going to buy a house with, being addicted to fucking painkillers. I didn’t even realize it,” she confessed more. She buried her face in her hands.

Before Jackson, Ben, or I could say something, she kept going, “And Ben seemed like a nice guy. Hell, he is a nice guy. And you guys just seemed so happy and I had no one...”

I lowered my eyebrows. I started to feel rotten. But I pushed those feelings away. Growing up with Chase made me feel like nothing. Even when I was grown he made me feel like trash. I lolled around in self-pity for forever. Now, I finally realized how to be strong. It took awhile, but it happened. I knew I should feel for Jude, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I knew that one should blame their actions on nothing but themselves. Not from what has happened in the past.

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind,” Jackson solemnly quoted as if he could read my mind exactly. He was still avoiding eye contact with everyone except for me.

“I know that now,” she admitted. She moved her head to face Ben. “Sorry Ben.”

“It’s fine. I totally get it,” he forgave her. Everyone in the room could tell he really was fine with it. He was still comfortably sitting with his hands folded behind his head. But he was hiding something. I hoped that he wasn’t turning into the ‘girl in the relationship’ and starting to develop feelings for Jude. That would make the whole thing even worse.

I looked back over to Jackson. He didn’t really say anything. He just looked back as me, lips pursed. I could practically see the gears moving in his head. He was thinking of something to say or something to do. But nothing happened.

“I’m gonna go back downstairs,” I said to break the awkward silence, getting up to exit the room. “Jackson. Come with me.”

He nodded and got up from his crouching position. “You guys get more acquainted,” I implied as I shut the door behind Jackson and I.

Once Jackson and I were in Ben’s kitchen, I sighed and dropped my head on the counter. Jackson was on the seat beside me, rubbing my back.

“Things just can’t be peaceful, can they?” he breathed. I heard the chair squeak as he got up and walked into another part of the kitchen.

“Seriously,” I grumbled. I lifted my head when I heard a little clank on the counter. Jackson poured me some juice and pushed the cup my way. “Thanks,” I said under my breath, taking a sip.

“I think this is a sign that you need to stop having friends,” Jackson chuckled, trying to relieve the tension.

“I actually think you are right, for once.”

His shoulders slumped and his eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t think that this is your fault. They made the mistake. She’s just having a rough time.”

“I know. It’s just difficult. I just wanted to relax once you got home.”

He walked over and leaned over the chair and my back. His arms wrapped around my waist and his head laid itself on my shoulder. “We can still relax. Want to go upstairs and watch a movie?”

I nodded and got up. He slung his shoulder around my waist and walked upstairs with me. As we passed Ben’s door, I noticed it was still shut. I hoped that they were going to figure out something.

Once Jackson and I were in the comfort of the guest room, he clicked on the T.V. and raided the channels for something to watch. I snuggled close to him with my head barely peeking from the blankets. Jackson’s warm fingers twirled with a piece of my hair once he found something on T.V.

After some time of just laying close to each other and watching a movie, it was about nine o’clock at night. We were going to look for another movie, but before we did so the door opened. Both of our eyes looked in the direction to see Jude and Ben standing in the frame. Ben was right behind her, but he hovered over her with his height. Both of them seemed a little tense.

“What’s going on, guys?” Jackson friendly asked, sitting up in his seat. I slithered off of him and curled up next to a pillow. I was too comfortable to get up.

“How’d the chat go?” I added in, sprawling out as I stretched on the sheets.

Jude was playing with her fingers as she walked in to sit on the corner of the bed. She glanced up to Jackson and then to I. “Spit it out,” I demanded after some more silence. “You guys better not have pulled a Jackson.” I lightly laughed at myself after.

Jackson glared at me, flicking my arm. He seemed to be the only one to get the joke. Ben and Jude stared at each other, trying to get the reference. Ben got it. He nodded. “Yeah. We did.”

“What?” I gasped. My giggling abruptly ended. “You guys were dumb enough to sleep with each other in the first place and now you say you forgot a condom?”

Jude now understood. She tilted her head down. “Yeah...”

Jackson let out a breath. “What are you going to do if you are pregnant? Have you guys thought about that?”

“Of course!” Ben and Jude shot back.

I was staring at Jude by this point. “Did you once realize how much you could mess up Ben’s life? And your own for that matter?”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t invited me.”

“Sorry I was being nice! Want me to be mean now and send you back to the hospital and tell Mark what really happened?” I threatened. She shut up then. I took a deep breath again. “Just go, guys. Figure something out.”

Ben started to leave. He was really ashamed right now. I could tell by his shortness of words. Jude followed after him. Once the door was closed, I groaned loudly.

“Can you believe this?” I complained to Jackson.

“It just gets worse, doesn’t it?”

I couldn’t imagine this. This was almost as hard as thinking that I could have been pregnant. Neither Ben nor Jude could have a baby right now. And I know Ben’s like Jackson when it comes to abortions. I shouldn’t have ever let Jude come into my life. I didn’t think she’d be this much trouble.

And I definitely didn’t know what drama was in her relationship with Mark. It was definitely broken and she had some side-effects from it. She was hopelessly in love with a cheater. And I knew it couldn’t get better from there. Especially if a child getting involved.