Caged Birds Don't Like to Sing

The day went by at a slow, groggy pace. Every minute felt like an hour as time attempted to pass. I was only aloud to see Jackson that one time, but I still didn’t want to leave and Ben didn’t want to either. I couldn’t imagine going back to my house alone. Police were already on call and knew the whole story. I wasn’t in any trouble since it was self-defence, I guess. They had cleaned up the house and everything. But it still didn’t feel right to go back. I still didn’t feel clean and neither did the whole space. Being there would just make me feel sick.

“Are you going to stay tonight?” Ben asked, getting up and throwing back his latest cup of coffee. We’ve been drinking them all day to stay awake. I have been jittery and anxious all day. Now it was starting to wear off.

I looked up at him and nodded. Stretching out in the chair, I yawned, “Yeah. Jude should be out any minute anyway.” They let her stay with Mark, but I wasn’t allowed to see Jackson. I thought it was rubbish. But she did deserve to see him, I just didn’t get why I wasn’t aloud to see Jackson.

“You can come back to my place with me,” Ben offered. I declined the offer with a shake of my head. He was now throwing on his coat. As he did so, Jude walked back up. She sat down next to me.

“Are you leaving?” she asked Ben.

“All is semi well, so now I can go.” He started to head near the door, looking back only once to make sure I didn’t want to leave with him.

“Bye,” Jude and I said in unison. The doors opened and closed behind him.

I laid back into my seat. I leaned against my arm and cocked my head over the back of the chair. I found this position to be somewhat comfortable. Especially when you were planning to stay for awhile. Jude did the same as she spoke. “He seems nice.”

“He is. I’m glad he stayed for this long. He’s a good friend to Jackson,” I agreed. After a short second, I added in, “How’s Mark?”

She deeply sighed, “Not so good. They just took a biopsy. They rushed it to the lab and are going to get the results tomorrow. But chances aren’t so good.”

I lowered my eyebrows and frowned. “I’m really sorry.”

She pursed her lips. She seemed like she had nothing else to say. Or at least she didn’t know what else to. At a loss of words, she asked, “How’s Jackson?”

“He’s doing better. He gets to go home in two days,” I said. I wanted to cheer with excitement, but everything seemed bitterly awful for her right now. My husband gets to go home soon and her fiance might not able to ever go back home.

Kindheartedly, she happily said, “That’s great!”

“Yeah. He’s lucky.”

Minutes later, a new doctor came downstairs. It was a short lady this time. She had a pleasant smile on her face. Her eyes were locked on my face as she neared. “Hello, I’m Dr. Stiles.”

I held out my hand and shook hers. “Hey,” I greeted back unsurely. I didn’t really like all of the doctors lately. All of them have snubbed any of my chances to see Jackson so far.

“We know that you’ve been wanting to see your husband all day,” she started to say in a chipper voice. I felt kind of embarrassed, but kept listening without interruptions. “So you can be the exception and go see him after visiting hours.”

I sat up straight, feeling my eyes light up. “Really?” I exclaimed. She nodded. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem.” As she started to walk away, I followed her. We both went separate ways once I was at Jackson’s door. I managed to squeeze in one more ‘thank you’ before she left. She smiled and said it was no big deal.

When I went back into Jackson’s room. He smiled when he saw me and tried to sit up. I came to his side quickly and lightly tapped his not injured shoulder. I didn’t want him to put more stress on anything. “Hi,” I cooed, pecking his lips.

“I’m glad I am able to see you again,” he smiled.

“Me, too. It took long enough for them to let me back in,” I scoffed. “They really hate me here.” He airily laughed.

“So they’re letting you come home in two days,” I announced. I sat down into the chair and pulled it closer to his bedside.

As he spoke, his hand lovingly grazed my cheek. “Really?”

“I’m not going back to our house without you though,” I mentioned. Jackson nodded like it was something that was completely understandable. “I’m probably going to go to Ben’s tomorrow and spend the night there. You don’t care, right?”

“It’s fine.”

“You still can’t drive, though. So I’ll pick you up in the morning,” I told. I was already planning out the whole day in my mind. A day that included just watching movies and being all lazy-like. Sounded perfect. Even more perfect than the cruise idea did.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he crooned. “So what have you been doing while I’ve been in here?”

I explained to him everything. From meeting Jude to what’s been going on with Mark. Surprisingly, I kind of got choked up when I talked about Mark. I haven’t even met the guy, but I was extremely upset. For one, it was one of my new friend’s, if you could call her that, husband. And secondly, it was totally relatable. I realize how easily Jackson’s life could have slipped away.

“Jeez,” he mumbled after I had finished talking. “That’s horrible.”

“You can say that again,” I breathed.

“My friend Spencer died from Adrenal cancer,” Jackson noted.

I looked into his eyes after he said that. I questioned, “Is there a good chance that Mark could die at this point?” Jackson seemed even more hesitant to answer, I watched his eyes as they scanned over my face. After a silent pause, I finally said, “I shouldn’t say anything to Jude then.”

“It’d be a good idea if you didn’t.”

I merely shrugged. I wasn’t too sure what to say after that. Jackson filled the silence with, “Guess what’s coming up?” He said it in an excited, sing-song-y tone.

I thought it over, raising an eyebrow. I couldn’t think of anything. “What?”

“My birthday,” he happily answered with a smug smile.

The date must have slipped my mind. We were already in December? Life’s been flying by too fast. I thought over the dates. Jackson’s birthday was before Christmas, right? On the fourteenth. Oh crap, Christmas. I haven’t even thought about that. We were on the countdown already.

I groaned and face palmed. “I completely forgot.” Jackson chuckled lightly at my forgetfulness.

“It’s not a big deal. Honestly. I couldn’t care less,” he assured.

I shook my head. “No, no. It is. It’s your first birthday that I’m celebrating with you. I need to get you something.”

He rolled his eyes. “You don’t need--”

“I’m getting you something,” I interrupted.

After that, the same doctor came in and told us it was time for me to leave. I said goodnight to Jackson and then left the room. I went back downstairs to find Jude sleeping. When I looked at her, I felt guilty. She didn’t know that Mark barely stood a chance. I hoped with every fiber of my being that he’d make it for her.

When I woke up the next morning, I decided it was time to go to Ben’s. I didn’t really want to be in the hospital much longer. Plus it was snowing like crazy already. I watched the weather channel last night, that was all they left on here, and it said there would be a blizzard. But I didn’t think it’d start already.

Tossing my jacket on and standing up, I promised, “I’ll be back when I come to visit Jackson.”

“Okey dokey,” Jude agreed. She wiggled around in the seat as she stretched out from her sleep. “I’ll be here all day probably. Maybe I’ll head home tonight.”

“Call me if you find out anything.” I had previously gave my number to her. Just in case.

“I will.”

“See you later,” I waved as I left.

The roads were already awful, too. I was freaking out every time the tires slipped around. The roads were frozen over. It was freezing out! I loved this kind of weather, but driving in it was just a nightmare.

Once at Ben’s, I dropped my purse on the floor and tossed my body onto the couch. I was ready for bed again. It was still too early to be up. The couch was far more comfortable than the stiff chairs at the hospital. I was ready to relax a bit.

And I must have been more tired than I had thought. What woke me up from my deep slumber was my phone ringing. Without opening my eyes, I flopped my hand around on the ground and in my purse, looking for my phone. I grasped it and flicked it open.

“Hello?” I groggily murmured into the phone, my eyes still burning from the sudden light radiating from it.

“Marissa!” I heard Jude’s voice cry on the other line.

“Jude,” I voiced, sitting up and suddenly waking up. “What’s going on?”

She was sobbing heavily over the phone. Between sniffs and cries, she tried to say, “Mark... Biopsy...He’s...” Then just more crying.

At a loss of what to say to sooth her, I just added in, “I don’t know what you’re saying. I’ll be over soon!”

With that I clicked the phone shut and ran out and to the car. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I even fell and slipped on the ice as I went in a tired stupor.

With a hurt ankle, I hobbled into the hospital. Instant heaters blew down as the electric doors flew open. I found her in the waiting room. She frantically jumped out of her seat and walked over to me. “What’s going on?” I asked, still nervous and scared. I got closer to her, but she was walking much faster than I and met me close to the door.

She was sniffling hard and wiping her eyes. It seemed like she was about to pass out. I steadied my arms just in case. “The tumors are too big already. He’s not going to make it,” she blubbered. I felt my jaw drop a little.

I hugged her tightly as she buried her face in my shoulder and cried. We’ve only known each other for a few days, but it felt like she’s become a good friend of mine. I guess staying in a lonely and empty hospital can do that to people. Especially when you are thrown into horrible scenarios together.

“I’m so sorry, Jude,” I tried to comfort. I patted her back lightly as she clung on around my shoulders. I felt so awful, but I knew there was nothing left to do at this point besides help her though it.

She kept crying and couldn’t bare to stop. I stood there in her arms. She had no family around here. I’ve been the only one to help her through all of this. I think that was the worst part for her. “Do you want to come back to Ben’s with me?”

She pulled away, still holding onto my shoulders. She heavily nodded. “I couldn’t imagine going back home. Everything would remind me of him. Thank you.”

“No problem. I couldn’t leave you at your house alone. Or at this hospital,” I expressed sincerely.

She started to calm down a bit. Her breathing went from short whimpers to deep breaths. I grabbed her some tissues off of the front counter. She smirked to the side. “You came all this way just to see me cry like a baby. You should go see Jackson.”

I started to feel a little trapped. I didn’t want to leave her, but I did want to see Jackson. I bit my lip in thought. “You come up with me,” I proclaimed.

“No, you don’t have to. I’ll be okay,” she assured.

“Come on. You should meet him,” I chirped. I grabbed her by her wrist and took her up the elevator.

It was already two o’clock in the afternoon, so we were allowed in. And since Jackson was going to be home tomorrow morning, he was able to have in more visitors than just me.

I walked into the room, Jude right behind me. “Hey, Jackson,” I greeted as I sat down. “This is Jude, the girl I was telling you I met.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jackson said with a friendly smile. “Sorry, I can’t formally greet you since I can’t get up,” he chuckled.

She smiled a little at that, but she still sniffled when she said, “It’s fine. Nice to meet you, too.” I don’t think she recognized him as Jackson Rathbone. Which was probably a good thing, but it was strange to not see it happen. Relieving, though.

She then sat beside me and folded her legs over each other. I shared a quick glance with her to make sure she was okay. She subtly nodded.

“So what are your plans for the day?” Jackson asked, looking at me, then slightly to Jude, then back to me.

“I think we’re just heading back to--” I was cut off by a knock at the door. All of us looked up to see the same doctor that let me in last night come in.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Rathbone. And hi Ms. Marshall,” Dr. Stiles cheerily spoke as she closed the door behind her. We all said a little ‘hello’ back as she came in. “I just came to do the morning check up on Jackson.”

She pulled out a little light and looked in Jackson’s eyes and did a few other little things. I felt like we were back at the pediatrician or something. I conversed with the doctor and Jude lightly. Once the doctor seemed like she was about to leave, she was filling out her medical chart. Without looking up, she announced with a grin, “I think Jackson can actually go home today.”

This doctor must always have good news. “Really?” Jackson and I said in almost a perfect unison.

“Yep. You can leave whenever you’d like,” she briefly explained. “Bye, guys! Be safe on your way home in this weather.”

“Bye,” I said as she shut the door. Almost immediately, I threw in“Let’s get out of here.”

“Sounds good!” Jackson laughed.

“We’ll go get the car and check you out and you get ready, okay?”

Jackson nodded. Jude and I left almost immediately and got the car in the huge parking lot. I had her sit in the front seat outside of the main entrance as I went back in to check Jackson out and go find him. The day before, I had brought him some comfy clothes to change into. They were Ben’s but they would do for now. Even if they were big.

I planned to go see Laurie and Steven that day, but I still didn’t want to travel too far. I would just call them later today now that everything has settled down. For now. My mother was still out there somewhere. And I’m pretty sure she found out her two pawns are now dead.

After I filled out the last of the paperwork, I looked up to see Jackson stumbling out. He was probably still super sore. I went to his side, but laughed at how long Ben’s sweat pants were on him. “Shut up,” he teased. I grinned back and helped him to the car.

I sat in the back with him because Jude offered to drive. She said it was the least she could do since she was going to stay at Ben’s with us. But the roads were still crazy bad. It snowed even more throughout the day and showed no sign of slowing down.

“I didn’t even see the snow from the hospital room,” Jackson shared, staring out the window at the white blanket across the earth. But you couldn’t make out anything else. White snowflakes piled around over and around each other. Like a huge quilt that covered the sky and you couldn’t even see what was in front of you, only a few little things; just like a quilt. Or at least I thought so.

“Crazy weather, isn’t,” I murmured, kind of mesmerized at the beautiful scene.

“Crazy that people actually drive in this when they don’t have to,” Jude playfully said from the front.

“I could have drove,” I recalled.

“Nope,” she demanded.

“I could have drove, too,” Jackson said smugly with a chuckle.

This time, both Jude and I said, “No!”

When we arrived at Ben’s, I once again helped Jackson into the house. I slipped down the driveway, landing on my ankle once more. “Damn it,” I groaned. Thankfully, Jackson didn’t fall though.

Jude came up from behind and swooped me up. “Nice job,” she teased.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m prone to this apparently.”

For support, I leaned against Jude, but had my other arm on Jackson to help him. But it seemed like he was helping me even more. I was between them both of them. I laughed at my helplessness at the situation.

“We make a good team,” Jackson said to Jude with a laugh.

“Ha, yeah. Marissa can’t even walk by herself,” she joked even more.

“I can hear you,” I mentioned sarcastically to her. She just laughed again.

The door was opened for us by a laughing Ben Graupner. “You totally just wiped out!” he hollered in laughter.

I rolled my eyes as I got out of Jackson’s and Jude’s grasp and stumbled to the door. “Thanks for your help, Ben! It’s not Jackson just got out of the hospital,” I shouted caustically.

“I was laughing too hard to help.”

I nudged his side as I passed him, then dropped to the couch; my normal spot. Jude came up and sat beside me, scoping the place out as she did so. “Nice place you got here, Ben.”

“Yeah. You’re jealous,” Ben laughed. Jackson came up from behind him.

“Thanks for forgetting about the real cripple here,” Jackson badgered.

“I’m sorry,” I said in a teasing baby voice. I tried to get up, but Jude held my shoulder down.

“Don’t get up! You’re ankle is already huge and swollen,” she pointed out as she put it on the table in front of me.

“It’s fine,” I insisted as Jackson came and sat by me. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“It’s definitely not,” he cackled. “You’re gonna be on this couch for the rest of today.”

I nuzzled into his shoulder. “So are you.”

I felt bad for Jude. Her husband was practically on his deathbed at the hospital and she couldn’t go see him. Now she was here with Jackson, Ben, and I, practically forced to see Jackson and I together, happy again. I immediately moved away from Jackson once I thought of that.

She shook her head. “No, really. I don’t mind.” It was like she could read my thoughts. Her expression contradicted what she said. I started to feel worse, but she laid down against the arm of the couch and started to go to bed. I would imagine she was tired. Even I still was.

I looked up to Jackson with a sad expression. He seemed to feel bad, too. He leaned against the opposite arm of the couch and I leaned onto his chest and started to go to sleep. But he seemed a little antsy. “Are you tired?” I whispered to him, still with my eyes closed.

“Not really, I’ve done nothing but sleep for the past few days. But I’ll try to sleep,” he mumbled back.

“Just get some rest,” I concluded. I felt him lean up a bit and kiss my forehead. Then he laid back down.

I woke up with my head flat against the cushions of the couch. Evening light flooded the room. I started to stretch out my arms and legs along the couch. I realized I was alone. “Where’d they go?” I murmured to myself.

I pushed myself off of the couch and stumbled around a bit. I caught myself before I fell because of my weak ankle. For some reason, my first instinct was to go check upstairs. I still was unfamiliar with how Ben’s house went. There were four doors upstairs. I think Ben had a guest room, bathroom, and his room. I wasn’t too sure what a fourth door could be.

I pondered about which door I should open. I went with one on the end of the hallway. It turned out to be a bathroom and no one was in there. So I went with the next one. The lights were off, so I flicked it on. I took a small gasp.

“This isn’t what it looks like!” I heard Jude scream as she popped up.