I'm Not Okay

I was so grateful to Gerard. He was taking me in, buying me clothes, holding my fucking hand, when I’m scared. He’s been so… the only word I could possible come up with is sweet but there’s this idea lurking in the back of my head that he just thinks of me like some charity work. He saw the opportunity to help another kid, just this time there was a twist.

Yet, looking up at him as he’s opening my door as we get back to the Electric Factory, he’s smiling so bright and he’s grabbing my hand again and taking the majority of the bags, insisting that the strain is too much, talk about ‘lol’.

“Gerard, I can carry the bags,” I say as I reach out for them and he shakes he’s head as we walk back towards the buses. “Its just clothes.”

“And bras, socks, underwear, jewelry, and make-up,” He looked over at me with a smirk. “That adds up.”

“Gerard-“

“Ut, ut, ut, don’t argue. Gerard Way knows best.” I laughed at his as we made it to the tour bus. The door burst open suddenly and a familiar man came storming out and he was screaming something.

“She CAN’T be on the rest of this tour!” He stopped dead in his tracks at the site of me; he walked straight up to me and pointed his finger in my face. “You, you better not say a single fucking word.” He glared at me for a second before marching off.

“What the hell was that about? Did Todd…” I didn’t hear the rest of what Gerard said. My breathing escalated and the world started to spin as flashbacks from last night came and I remembered Todd’s face and my muffled cries for help and the last thing I remember before the whole world going dead to me is Gerard screaming for help.