Display the Sign to Capture Him

Vic and Mike went into the hallway after we exchanged papers. I grabbed my bag with my box in it and went to the bathroom.

“Why do I even think he's my half?” I asked myself. “He's probably straight, too.” It kept flowing in my thoughts that he could also possibly hate me. I opened the box and grabbed my newest, sharpest razor then lifted up my sleeve while dragging the metal across my skin with it. It felt so good to feel that again.. “He clearly doesn’t feel it.”

My arm from my wrist to shoulder is already shredded and ruined. Barely any untouched skin is noticeable unless you really look for it. I was ready to feel again, three days without it is too long.

1 for being ugly
1 for being fat
1 for being an annoying fuck up
1 for being alive
1 for crushing so hard so fast

all these thoughts raced through my mind and I tried my best not to cry harder than I was. It doesn’t hurt to do it anymore, but I’m just so sad for the reasons I do. My forearm was back to a bloody mess when I heard my name.

“Kellin?”

I shoved all my things back in the bag and let my sleeve fall back down. I wiped my tears and practically ran out of the bathroom. “I'm right here. Just had to clean up a bit.” Fuck my voice is still choked up. “Sorry..” I sniffled a bit.

I went and sat down on my bed then Vic came to sit next to me. We talked about bands we liked and found out we even have the same favorite songs. We're definitely gonna be great friends. I was caught off guard though, when he gripped my arm. I pulled it away and jumped away from him on the bed.

Fuck me... I thought. Now he knows I’m a freak.

“Sorry Kellin. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Scare? Sure lets go with that.. “It's ok Vic. It's really my fault anyway.”

Fuck did I just say that? Goddamn it!

We gave each other a blank stare before he spoke up again. It really made me look in his eyes better. Beautiful chocolate brown and his skin just looks so soft. I want to hold him and just feel him! Well, not in a sexual way.. Why am I even thinking this? He's not my half.

“Kellin?” I guess I zoned out.

“Yeah?”

“Can I see your necklace?” he sounded nervous.

Why would he want to see my necklace? Just to prove to me he's not my half, right?

“i will only if you show me yours too.” then someone knocked on our door. “come in!” it was Andy. And he had my favorite microphone??

“Hey, Kellin. I accidentally grabbed your mic n'stuff off the bus.”

“Oh my god I thought I lost it! That one's my favorite. Thank you” I put it with the rest of my music equipment and went back to Vic. “So, where were we?”

Vic nodded and counted down. “3, 2, 1.”

“Oh my god...” We said in unison.

“Umm...” Mike sounded shocked too. “I'll leave you two alone for a while. Vic I’ll be with Jack.”

“i thought I’d never find you...” I said. I jumped onto him for a hug and hurt myself in the process. I tried not to let it bother me. I'm just so happy right now. He is my half

“so, we're each others half's?” he squeezed me even tighter. “I was hoping for a super cute boy..”

I froze..

“But you’re more than the exact definition.”

I let go and looked at him. He was smiling so beautifully. I smiled back.

“Vic, I’m not as great as you’re making it sound.” I laughed. “if anything, you're the complete opposite of what my parents said!”

he looked confused.

“Shit that did NOT come out how I wanted it.. uhm..” I tried to save myself. “you're like, just super cute and um.. you're just.. just..fuckinghot.” I rushed that in and smiled. He did too.

“And your parents said..?”

“That I’d never find you. And if I did, you'd be super ugly and gross me out all the time and make me wanna not be with you. Or you would be one of those attractive assholes that beat their partners.. so I guess I just have to judge the last part..” I whispered the last part so he couldn’t hear me.

“I'm not the asshole type Kellin. I promise you anything.”

he looked me in the eye as he said that. After that I felt my arm burning really bad and even more than it just was. It did not feel good.

“I'll be back in a second.”

I got up and went to the bathroom. I took off my hoodie and the inside or the sleeves were blood covered. Good thing it didn’t leak to show on the outside.. The recent cuts were still bleeding a bit but it's most likely because of how I tackled Vic. I ran what I could under cold water then took some toilet paper and cleaned up the dry blood higher than I can fit under the faucet. I put the hoodie back on and went back out to Vic.

“Hey, Kellin?” he was standing up.

“Yeah?”

“Well, to make things more.. uh 'proper' I guess.” he said using hand quotes. “Will you go out with me?”

“Of course I will” we smiled.

“lets go find a restaurant. Well, if yo-”

“I'd love to.” I cut in.

He took my hand and we were out the door.