Love Story (Complications)

The couple argued back and forth. Ever since Jessie came back from Japan, filming her latest “Assassin Battousai” film, the two babbled silly nonsense against each other. Some may think this was doltish on their part, but the truth is that they are both afraid. Afraid of losing each other or saying the wrong thing, but of course, they never really voiced their thoughts out loud.
Norman stood in the doorway of their room, leaning against the frame. He sighed heavily, the impression he was giving Jessie was that he was irritated with her. Truth be told, Norman was indeed irritated but not with her, no. He was angry and frustrated with himself, angry because lately they spend more time apart than together. It seemed that now more than ever they were busier, traveling more than usual. Norman could feel them becoming more distant, their bond didn’t feel as strong now compared to months ago in their relationship. However, if he had to be honest with himself, this was the most functional relationship he ever had. Anyone else would have probably left him a long time ago, like his previous women always did.
Jessie was sitting in the head of the bed watching Norman. She was hugging her legs tightly laying her chin on her knees. This is the way she always sat when Jessie was deep in thought, when something was clearly bugging her. She knew deep down inside Norman wasn’t really mad at her but she couldn’t help but feel guilty. She knew she couldn’t help filming in Japan just as much as he couldn’t help traveling around the globe to promote his latest movie and do more walking dead stuff. As usual, Jessie blamed herself even if she knew it wasn’t her fault. That’s who she was.
“Come here.” Jessie said softly extending her arm to him.
Norman looked at her frowned. He knew he was only hurting her feelings by lashing out this way. He was never any good at this, but then again, neither was she.
“Please.” She begged kind of irritated.
He went to her. Norman sat down at the end of their bed and slowly inched his way towards her. She sighed and moved so she was sitting next to him. Jessie lifted his chin up so they could lock eye contact. She looked at him for a brief moment before embracing him. Norman sighed once more and wrapped his arms around her waist protectively, and buried his head in her shoulder. For several moments the two stayed like that just holding each other in silence.
“I missed you.” Jessie finally broke the hushed moment.
“I missed you too.” He breathed. Norman shut his eyes tightly, embracing her stronger as one of his hands rubbed her middle back up and down in a soothing manner.
“I’m sorry”’ Jessie said once they separated. “I know it’s been hard for you Norman…for both of us actually. I wish…I…we didn’t have to travel so much.”
“I know. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t take it out on you it’s not your fault.” He shook his head.
“Don’t be. You’re allowed to get upset Norm. We’re only human.’ She gave him a small smiled in which he returned.
“I just wish…I just wish it didn’t have to be like this. I mean I love what I do and I love traveling to different parts of the world it’s just…”
“Hard.” She finished for him nodding.
“Yeah. I wish we could spend more time together. It feels like…” He paused licking his lips.
“Feels like what?” She asked.
Norman looked down, not wanting to keep eye contact any longer. But Jessie didn’t let him escape for long, she lifted his chin with her hand so he couldn’t avoid eye contact. “Don’t do this.” She frowned at him. “We made a deal remember?” He nodded slightly.
Jessie sighed. “Look…I know I haven’t been easy either. I know I’m always the one to put my walls up so I have no reason to talk but…you can just start a sentence and then not finish it because you regret it.” Jessie pointed. She shifted herself so that she was sitting straight now. “Tell me what’s on your mind.” She said brushing his long bangs out of his eyes.
“I know we made a deal and all…It’s just…now that we’re both always gone I…I don’t know…I’m afraid that maybe you could meet someone better.” He finished his sentence looking at his hands and playing with the strains out of her jeans.
“Ok stop. Norman you know me!” She raised her voice a little too much for her own liking. “I wouldn’t cheat on you.” She said, now quietly.
“No no I didn’t say you would.” He shook his head nervously. “I…I’m just afraid that eventually you won’t be interested anymore. I mean….the age gap…”
She raised her finger to silence him. “First of all, I would never lose my ‘interest’ in you as you put it. No man could ever interest me as you do. Second, we’ve been through this Norm. The age gap is nothing, I don’t care.”
“But I do! I mean…Jessie who are we fooling? I’m turning 45 next year, that’s 5 years away from 50. You’re not even in your 30’s yet….you could do so much better than an old fart like me.”
“You’ve really given this thought haven’t you?” Jessie asked, her voice was barely above a whisper.
“I have.” He slowly nodded, almost afraid of her reply.
“You really think I’m too young for you?”
He nodded. “Well…Jessie you got your whole life ahead of you still. I mean really what are doing with me?”
“You make as sound as if you’re almost dead. Jesus Norman you’re 44 not 104! You still have a full life.”
“No I don’t. Let’s be realistic Jess…I’m not gonna live to 100 maybe MAYBE 90 if I’m lucky. Half of my life is already over. I’ve got grey hairs already.” He pointed to his scruffy beard. “You’re only 26…you should…you should try to find someone your age. I wish I was 26 again. I wish I could start over. Apart from Mingus there are so many things I wish I could go back on…” He whispered more to himself now. “But YOU have your whole life ahead of you still. Stop wasting your time with me.”
Jessie’s jaw dropped upon hearing his statement. She opened and closed her mouth several times before speaking. There were so many things she wanted to say to him but she didn’t know where to start.
“Norman I….is that really what you think? You think I’m wasting my time with you? I…I don’t even know what to say to that. We’ve been together for almost a year and now you think to mention all this!? Now…suddenly you’re having second thoughts!? I’ve told you many times over I don’t care about the age difference!” She threw her hands up. “I CARE ABOUT YOU!”
“Do you though? Do you really care about me? You can barely say three simple little words. Sometimes I really wonder.” Norman scoffed.
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? I…you know that…” Jessie stood up and paced back and forth. “I can’t believe you’d say something this cruel…” She whispered turning her back to him swallowing back her tears. “I have done nothing but support you and give you a hundred percent of my affections. Norman you’ve always came first before anyone else. I know the past couple months haven’t been easy but…I LOVE you okay! I know I tend to keep my emotions bottled up but I’ve never lied about that!” She said in a shaky voice.
Norman sighed and ran his hands through his face. “You’re not making this any easier.” He said swallowing the lump in the back of his throat. He took another deep breath before looking at her again. Her facial expression made his heart break. She had the look of betrayal, a look that no doubt pierced his heart almost slicing it in half.
“So this is it? You came here tonight with the full intention of breaking up with me?” Jessie felt her eyes water but quickly wiped them roughly, not wanting to break in front of him.
“No…I didn’t…I was just…I don’t know Jess it’s just been on my mind for the last couple of days. I just think you could do much better…I mean I’m already damaged enough and…you just could do so much better.”
“We’re both damaged people Norman what’s you point?”
“Maybe…Maybe what you think you feel for me isn’t real…I mean…could you picture yourself with me in ten years from now?” He asked; his voice drifting.
“Well I never really thought about it but yes Norman I could. To be honest I kind thought…hoped that you’d be sticking around for a long time…I…I told you I never really had a functioning relationship before and with you…we’re just different. And I’m sorry I don’t tell you how much you really mean to me, it’s never been easy for me to…but you’re the first man I could picture having a life with…I told you I never felt this way towards anyone else.”
“You really don’t mind that I’m half you age? I mean technically I could be your father…I never had a REAL relationship before either…at least not like this. Helena and I…well we’re never really in love with each other to begin with. I just feel like I’m keeping you from what you could have…”
“For the last time age doesn’t matter! I always go with older guys anyways…and Norman, what could you possibly be keeping me from? I have a full life already. I do what I love so it’s not like you’re keeping me from my carrier or hobbies…”
“I don’t mean that…” Norman shook his head. “I just…you could have a younger guy, someone who had more to offer...” Norman paused to look at his hands. “Are you really happy with me?” he asked looking up at her.
“Of course I am! Norman for the last time you’re not old! There’s isn’t anyone else I would rather share my life...my bed with! I…I love you babe! I wish I could offer you more…I know you want me to and I’m working on it. It’s just…I’ve never lov…felt this way. I…you mean so much to me.” Jessie gasped letting her eyes water again.
Norman stood up from the bed and made his way over to her. He took her face in his hands, cupping her cheeks gently. “I know you do sweetheart, I know you love me. I’m sorry sometimes I doubt you but deep down inside I always knew. I’m not charging you for anything, please don’t think I am. I just…I guess sometimes I need reassurance.” He chuckled softly. “I just worry sometimes you know? I think THAT I don’t give you enough.”
“Oh please. Norman you’re like the best boyfriend material any girl can ask for. You might be a little like me and not voice your thoughts and feelings but that’s ok. I wouldn’t ask you to do that especially when I don’t. But physically you’re so loving and touchy.” She chuckled. “You care about me more than I could ask for. You’re perfect babe. I really mean it” She said stroking his chin. “I couldn’t ask for better.” She whispered giving him a small passionate pack on the lips.
Norman smiled genially and leaned his face closer to hers, brushing their noses together. He brought his hand to her hair and tangled his fingers in it, bringing her lips to his once more. He enveloped her mouth in a long and slow kiss.
“I love you.” He breathed once they separated.
“Me too.” She smiled. When Norman frowned a little at her words she rephrased her statement. “I love you too.”