Status: Finished
Bruised and Scarred.
“I’m better than that” “Prove it”
“Jessa! Jessa calm down. They won’t let him in here, calm down” Niall soothed, quietly whispering in my ear to calm my screaming. Soon I just stopped and started to sob. I’m pretty sure Dr. Flan had some interesting notes to take and more information he wanted to pry from me. I forgot what I was talking about in the first place and continued as I sobbed into Niall’s shoulder. I don’t even know what happened to him after that. Did security catch up to him? Did the police escort him out? Did they just throw him out and add more security to keep him out, but he could have possibly ran away to plot more ways to ruin my life even more? Seconds later four oh so familiar faces barged into the room asking if I’m okay simultaneously. I nodded, but didn’t move from my spot wrapped in Niall’s warm and comforting arms. I heard the Doctor tell the boys something that I couldn’t quiet comprehend at the moment. I’m sure the Doctor left so I could calm down. It took a while of just being held by Niall to ease me to a calm state where I was sure “He” wasn’t going to come back.
All five guys stayed the night in my room. Niall in my bed, side by side and the others draped over chairs and a small pull out couch. It’s funny how I’m their body guard and I can protect them from screaming girls, but they turn around and protect me from a man that I’m ashamed to be related to. I go to the gym, have a black belt in every martial art you can name, and have taken multiple self defense classes, Niall being the one to drive me to those classes. All the thinking made me tired so I started counting backwards from 100. 100, 99, 98, 97, 96...95.94...93…92…
I woke up the next morning to four out of five boys sitting around my bed playing cards with the television on the news, yet on mute. “Where’s Niall?” I muttered, still sleepy from just waking up. “Good morning to you too” Liam said putting down an ace of spades for Zayn to pick up. “Hi guys” I said sarcastically. It’s too early to be sarcastic. “We convinced Niall that you wouldn’t want to wake up next to you if he hasn’t showered in a couple days so he rushed home to shower and change. He also wanted to bring you some comfortable clothes” Liam said reading the last part from what must have been a new message on his phone. “Tell him sports bra, loose shirt, sweatpants and the obvious. Oh and my grey converse and some socks” I said eager about my favorite pair of shoes. I then took a minute to sniff my pits and added, “And some deodorant” The guys laughed at this continuing to play their game while Liam typed on his phone.
Fifteen minutes after I woke up, and Niall still isn’t back yet. I don’t know exactly when he left or if he’s just trying to find exactly what it is I wanted. Who knows? In the mean time Dr. Flan had come in to fight the rest of the story out of me. He insisted that the guys should leave, but I refused to tell him anything if at least one of them wasn’t there. So he let them stay and I blurted out the story. As for the cuts on my hips, those were a different story that he rather ask me later. Dr. Flan also informed me that I could go home today whenever, I just had to get checked on my a nurse and discuss something with him before I left.
Twenty five minutes later Niall walked in with a bag and placed in on the bed. He then turned to leave behind the other guys. “Niall” I said. “Yeah, Jessa?” I didn’t want him to feel awkward about it, but I couldn’t get dressed by myself, and he was the only one I trusted. “I kind of..Er..Need help getting dressed” I then rose my arms showing all the wires attached to me. “Right, Right..here I’m sure you can deal with this… and that” Niall said handing over a pair of underwear and running shorts. I slowly put them on underneath the blanket covering my lower half. He asked a nurse about changing with all the needles stuck into my arms. She took them out and helped me from there. Niall just turned his back so he didn’t have to leave the room entirely. “I’m decent” I said to him as the nurse walked away. He turned and started to help me put my shoes on since it sort of hurts to bend over much at all. When we were done Niall grabbed the Doctor to talk and know that I’m ready to be shipped out of this place. He asked for some signatures on a few papers and a signature for his daughter. Before he said he’d let me go he added, “As for the scars on your hips” I sucked in a deep breath and waited for him to tell me to go to therapy. Quit my job and spend time at home and going to daily therapy sessions with someone who won’t be able to fix this.”I don’t know what caused it. I know it’s something you did to yourself and this is not okay. You have a great group of friends around you who care and truly are heartbroken seeing you like this. All I can say is to make sure you’re never alone. As long as you seem weak to him he’s going to come after you again and again. Here is a number to call if you need professional help. If anything turn to your friends Jessa. They care” he then walked out of the room and said goodbye to the guys as he left down the corridor.
The whole car ride home I was thinking about what he said. My head rested on Niall’s shoulder as he sat in the middle of the backseat in Zayn’s car. Louis and Harry drove back to their own place together. Liam, who lived with Zayn sat in the front.
It was difficult getting out of the car. Liam, and Zayn helped as much as they could to get me in the flat safely. Niall was waiting patiently with the door open ready to close it when I got inside.
“Thank you guys for everything” I said once I was settled back onto the couch. “No problem” Liam said. “Anything for you Jessa” Zayn added. Niall mumbled something about making tea and taking my meds. Zayn and Liam stuck around for a while seeing as Niall was off his rocker for whatever reason. Maybe this whole thing is catching up to him.
~
The next morning I was aching and in much pain all over. Niall for whatever reason fell asleep on the couch with me until I looked over and saw the main screen for Lilo and Stitch playing over and over again. That explains a lot right now. I slowly tried to ease myself off the couch and into the kitchen; I was a lot slower than I thought I would be. In there I found my meds that Niall put way up high. I wonder if he thought there’s a chance I would overdose. Anyways I grabbed a nearby step stool and grabbed my meds from the top shelf. It wasn’t nearly as easy as it looks, and I felt as though I would fall any second. I grabbed the bottle and started my way down the step stool and onto firm ground, carefully. When I did get down and turned around I came face to face with the friend I’ve known forever, but it wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t happy, more like another disappointed face that haunts me every night. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Taking my pills what the hell does it look like I’m doing?”
“I don’t know. I was told not to leave you alone”
“I’m better than that Niall” I said louder than my normal voice but not in a yell.
“Prove it” was all it took.
I dropped the bottle and thanked god it wasn’t open yet. As unbalanced as I was this didn’t make it any easier; I threw myself at him and connected my lips with his. He was shocked of course and maybe didn’t realize what was happening until he started kissing back. Right as he started kissing back I broke apart, grabbed my pills, yogurt, and bottled water while stomping away to my bedroom as fast as I could through all the pain I was in.
Once I reached my room I followed the instructions and ate half my yogurt then downed two pills with most of my water bottle. After taking them I slipped the pill bottle under my locked bedroom door waiting for Niall to realize I don’t want to commit, yet.
I waited for ten minutes and in the mean time finished my yogurt and water. As I heard the pills rattling around in the bottle I knew he was picking them up. He broke past the child lock and opened the container. He turned around and walked away with the container I assume. In the time I had locked myself in my room I watched The Notebook and nearly drowned myself in my tears. Halfway through someone had knocked on my door. I slowly got up and walked to the door opening it partially to see who it was. When curly locks blurred my vision I opened the door, pulled him in and shut it roughly. “What was that for?”
“I didn’t want it to be Niall and I need someone to cuddle while watching The Notebook”
Harry sighed and crawled onto my bed mirroring my position from before; propped up against the wall with ten tons of pillows and my favorite stuffed giraffe in hand. I got back into bed and covered up with my One Direction blanket. Okay that blanket was supposed to be a joke, but I kept it anyways.
Half an hour later the movie had ended with me in tears and dried tears on Harry’s cheeks. “You know, I think Niall is afraid that will happen to you” Harry said calmly.
I thought it over and thought that he was absolutely bonkers. “And I think you are absolutely bonkers”
“Why?”
“Because”
“Because why?”
“Because I kissed him and ran away”
“Aaaahhh”
I then shied away behind my flower print pillow and started playing with a thread on a blanket. “What caused you to do this?” he asked slowly and cautiously.
I then repeated the whole story of what happened this morning. He nodded along and listened without interrupting.
“Wow”
“Yup”
“I think you should talk to him”
My eyes bugged out of my head and I dove under a pile of blankets ignoring the pain that was now clear to me.”Ow” I added.
“I take that as a no. You need to talk to him eventually. The fans will freak out if you aren’t flirting tomorrow when you drag us around to interviews and such”
“I do not flirt with him!” I exclaimed
I then whimpered from the sudden motion of sitting up hurting underneath my many bandages over my ribs. Harry even fell backwards and off the bed. I laughed at that even though my ribs hurt like hell it was just so funny. His curly head poked back up to where I could only see his eyes, and that made me laugh even more because I knew what his face looked like without even seeing his full face at that moment.
Our laughs died down and I could hear the knocking on the door more clearly. Not that I knew someone was knocking on the door to begin with. Harry walked over to the door and opened it slightly like I had before with him. Except he wasn’t letting Zayn or Liam in the room, not even Louis. Niall was the one poking his head past the door; he was also the last person I wanted to see. Right then Harry slipped out dragging Niall with him for a moment before shoving him back into my room and closing the door.
This could go two ways…
All five guys stayed the night in my room. Niall in my bed, side by side and the others draped over chairs and a small pull out couch. It’s funny how I’m their body guard and I can protect them from screaming girls, but they turn around and protect me from a man that I’m ashamed to be related to. I go to the gym, have a black belt in every martial art you can name, and have taken multiple self defense classes, Niall being the one to drive me to those classes. All the thinking made me tired so I started counting backwards from 100. 100, 99, 98, 97, 96...95.94...93…92…
I woke up the next morning to four out of five boys sitting around my bed playing cards with the television on the news, yet on mute. “Where’s Niall?” I muttered, still sleepy from just waking up. “Good morning to you too” Liam said putting down an ace of spades for Zayn to pick up. “Hi guys” I said sarcastically. It’s too early to be sarcastic. “We convinced Niall that you wouldn’t want to wake up next to you if he hasn’t showered in a couple days so he rushed home to shower and change. He also wanted to bring you some comfortable clothes” Liam said reading the last part from what must have been a new message on his phone. “Tell him sports bra, loose shirt, sweatpants and the obvious. Oh and my grey converse and some socks” I said eager about my favorite pair of shoes. I then took a minute to sniff my pits and added, “And some deodorant” The guys laughed at this continuing to play their game while Liam typed on his phone.
Fifteen minutes after I woke up, and Niall still isn’t back yet. I don’t know exactly when he left or if he’s just trying to find exactly what it is I wanted. Who knows? In the mean time Dr. Flan had come in to fight the rest of the story out of me. He insisted that the guys should leave, but I refused to tell him anything if at least one of them wasn’t there. So he let them stay and I blurted out the story. As for the cuts on my hips, those were a different story that he rather ask me later. Dr. Flan also informed me that I could go home today whenever, I just had to get checked on my a nurse and discuss something with him before I left.
Twenty five minutes later Niall walked in with a bag and placed in on the bed. He then turned to leave behind the other guys. “Niall” I said. “Yeah, Jessa?” I didn’t want him to feel awkward about it, but I couldn’t get dressed by myself, and he was the only one I trusted. “I kind of..Er..Need help getting dressed” I then rose my arms showing all the wires attached to me. “Right, Right..here I’m sure you can deal with this… and that” Niall said handing over a pair of underwear and running shorts. I slowly put them on underneath the blanket covering my lower half. He asked a nurse about changing with all the needles stuck into my arms. She took them out and helped me from there. Niall just turned his back so he didn’t have to leave the room entirely. “I’m decent” I said to him as the nurse walked away. He turned and started to help me put my shoes on since it sort of hurts to bend over much at all. When we were done Niall grabbed the Doctor to talk and know that I’m ready to be shipped out of this place. He asked for some signatures on a few papers and a signature for his daughter. Before he said he’d let me go he added, “As for the scars on your hips” I sucked in a deep breath and waited for him to tell me to go to therapy. Quit my job and spend time at home and going to daily therapy sessions with someone who won’t be able to fix this.”I don’t know what caused it. I know it’s something you did to yourself and this is not okay. You have a great group of friends around you who care and truly are heartbroken seeing you like this. All I can say is to make sure you’re never alone. As long as you seem weak to him he’s going to come after you again and again. Here is a number to call if you need professional help. If anything turn to your friends Jessa. They care” he then walked out of the room and said goodbye to the guys as he left down the corridor.
The whole car ride home I was thinking about what he said. My head rested on Niall’s shoulder as he sat in the middle of the backseat in Zayn’s car. Louis and Harry drove back to their own place together. Liam, who lived with Zayn sat in the front.
It was difficult getting out of the car. Liam, and Zayn helped as much as they could to get me in the flat safely. Niall was waiting patiently with the door open ready to close it when I got inside.
“Thank you guys for everything” I said once I was settled back onto the couch. “No problem” Liam said. “Anything for you Jessa” Zayn added. Niall mumbled something about making tea and taking my meds. Zayn and Liam stuck around for a while seeing as Niall was off his rocker for whatever reason. Maybe this whole thing is catching up to him.
~
The next morning I was aching and in much pain all over. Niall for whatever reason fell asleep on the couch with me until I looked over and saw the main screen for Lilo and Stitch playing over and over again. That explains a lot right now. I slowly tried to ease myself off the couch and into the kitchen; I was a lot slower than I thought I would be. In there I found my meds that Niall put way up high. I wonder if he thought there’s a chance I would overdose. Anyways I grabbed a nearby step stool and grabbed my meds from the top shelf. It wasn’t nearly as easy as it looks, and I felt as though I would fall any second. I grabbed the bottle and started my way down the step stool and onto firm ground, carefully. When I did get down and turned around I came face to face with the friend I’ve known forever, but it wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t happy, more like another disappointed face that haunts me every night. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Taking my pills what the hell does it look like I’m doing?”
“I don’t know. I was told not to leave you alone”
“I’m better than that Niall” I said louder than my normal voice but not in a yell.
“Prove it” was all it took.
I dropped the bottle and thanked god it wasn’t open yet. As unbalanced as I was this didn’t make it any easier; I threw myself at him and connected my lips with his. He was shocked of course and maybe didn’t realize what was happening until he started kissing back. Right as he started kissing back I broke apart, grabbed my pills, yogurt, and bottled water while stomping away to my bedroom as fast as I could through all the pain I was in.
Once I reached my room I followed the instructions and ate half my yogurt then downed two pills with most of my water bottle. After taking them I slipped the pill bottle under my locked bedroom door waiting for Niall to realize I don’t want to commit, yet.
I waited for ten minutes and in the mean time finished my yogurt and water. As I heard the pills rattling around in the bottle I knew he was picking them up. He broke past the child lock and opened the container. He turned around and walked away with the container I assume. In the time I had locked myself in my room I watched The Notebook and nearly drowned myself in my tears. Halfway through someone had knocked on my door. I slowly got up and walked to the door opening it partially to see who it was. When curly locks blurred my vision I opened the door, pulled him in and shut it roughly. “What was that for?”
“I didn’t want it to be Niall and I need someone to cuddle while watching The Notebook”
Harry sighed and crawled onto my bed mirroring my position from before; propped up against the wall with ten tons of pillows and my favorite stuffed giraffe in hand. I got back into bed and covered up with my One Direction blanket. Okay that blanket was supposed to be a joke, but I kept it anyways.
Half an hour later the movie had ended with me in tears and dried tears on Harry’s cheeks. “You know, I think Niall is afraid that will happen to you” Harry said calmly.
I thought it over and thought that he was absolutely bonkers. “And I think you are absolutely bonkers”
“Why?”
“Because”
“Because why?”
“Because I kissed him and ran away”
“Aaaahhh”
I then shied away behind my flower print pillow and started playing with a thread on a blanket. “What caused you to do this?” he asked slowly and cautiously.
I then repeated the whole story of what happened this morning. He nodded along and listened without interrupting.
“Wow”
“Yup”
“I think you should talk to him”
My eyes bugged out of my head and I dove under a pile of blankets ignoring the pain that was now clear to me.”Ow” I added.
“I take that as a no. You need to talk to him eventually. The fans will freak out if you aren’t flirting tomorrow when you drag us around to interviews and such”
“I do not flirt with him!” I exclaimed
I then whimpered from the sudden motion of sitting up hurting underneath my many bandages over my ribs. Harry even fell backwards and off the bed. I laughed at that even though my ribs hurt like hell it was just so funny. His curly head poked back up to where I could only see his eyes, and that made me laugh even more because I knew what his face looked like without even seeing his full face at that moment.
Our laughs died down and I could hear the knocking on the door more clearly. Not that I knew someone was knocking on the door to begin with. Harry walked over to the door and opened it slightly like I had before with him. Except he wasn’t letting Zayn or Liam in the room, not even Louis. Niall was the one poking his head past the door; he was also the last person I wanted to see. Right then Harry slipped out dragging Niall with him for a moment before shoving him back into my room and closing the door.
This could go two ways…