Save Yourself For Someone Worth Dying For

*BEEEP BEEEP BEEP*

I woke up, turned over and threw that damned alarm clock against the wall. I got up, and headed into the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I looked in the mirror, disgusted with my appearance. However, I was not going to let anything ruin this day. Today is the day. The day I see Pierce The Veil, give them my note, and come home to finally end it all.

I heard my phone go off and went to check it, I got a text from one of my “best friends” saying she’ll pick me up around 5 to head to the concert venue. I checked the time, it’s only 10 in the morning so I decided to go watch some television before I started getting ready. As I walked into the living room, I saw my mom in there. Before I could turn away and head back to my room, she started her shit with me.

“ABIGAIL, get your worthless ass out of this house before 6! My boss is coming over for dinner and I don’t want him to see what a fuck up my daughter is!” she yelled.

“Don’t you fucking worry; I’ll be gone before you know it.” I muttered.

She started screaming again, but I didn’t bother to listen. Seeing as I obviously couldn’t watch some television, I went to my room. I rummaged through some drawers until I finally found what I was looking for; my blade. I made sure to clean it off nicely before pulling up my sleeve and slicing into my wrist. It was deeper than I intended, but I didn’t care. As I saw the blood dripping down my wrist, onto the floor, I felt a rush of relief. I always got a certain high whenever I cut myself, it was almost relaxing. After slicing a few more times, I cleaned off the blade and put it back in my drawer, in a hidden spot so no one will find it.

I hopped into the shower, my wrist stung a little bit, but I didn’t mind. It felt somewhat good. I washed my long, black hair and my body before getting out. I grabbed a towel and went to the front of my closet to find something to wear. I looked at the clock, and realized I was in the shower for a good hour and a half, it was not 12. I looked through my clothes, and laid out a few choices. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to wear a PTV shirt or not, seeing as I didn’t want to come off as some weird fan girl. I tried on outfit after outfit. Nothing seemed good enough. It didn’t help that no matter what I wore; I was always disgusted with myself. I decided on a long sleeve, black lace see through top with a hot pink cami underneath. I put on my jean booty shorts, and my favorite pair of spiked boots. I looked at the clock again, it was 2:30. I had just enough time to do my make up and hair.

I decided on curling my hair. I made sure all the curls were big and bouncy. I can’t lie, I loved my hair. It was the only feature that I loved about myself. I always took great care of it. I went to do my make up, when I realized my hair took longer than I thought. It was 4:30, and Sammy would be here soon. I decided to put a minimal amount of make up on, limiting it to mascara and eye liner only. As soon as I finished, I heard my phone go off. Sammy was calling me, I answered:

“Hello?” “I’m here! Let’s go!” Sammy said cheerfully. She was always so happy, why couldn’t I be like that?

I laughed at her, “Alright, I’ll be out in a minute”.

I grabbed my purse, made sure that my note, my phone, and put some other useless junk was in there. See, Sammy never came in my house. I told her that my mom has problems, and she believed me. Truthfully, I just didn’t want her to get hurt, or see how my mom treats me. I peered down the hall; I realized that my mom wasn’t in the kitchen, so I could get out without a problem. I ran down the hall, through the living room, and out the front door. I hopped in Sammy’s car and she was off.

~~~~~
About half an hour later, we were at the venue, and I was extremely excited. The line was long, but not too bad. The gates open at 7, but it was definitely worth the wait. As soon as they started letting people in, I grabbed Sammy by her arm, and ran to the front. I had to be in front, that way I could hand my note to Vic.

Twenty minutes later, they came on stage. I was mesmerized.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS UP SAN DIEGO?!” Vic yelled into the mic. The crowd erupted into screams.

He started singing the lyrics to “Bulletproof Love” and I sang along word for word. The line up was amazing, they played all my favorites. The last song they played was “A Match Into Water” and I could feel myself start to break down. I know this song is about an ex who had cancer, but I take it to be about self-harm. As he sang the first line, I held out my hand; with my suicide note, and he grabbed it. He smiled, and sang right to me. It was amazing.

Before I knew it, the concert was over. There wasn’t going to be a meet and greet, so Sammy and I went over to the merch table and stood in line to get some stuff. She got a bracelet and some shorts. I however, didn’t get anything. What was the point? I’m ending it all tonight.